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Christmas Shopping Is Over (Part 1 of 1)

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Everyone take a deep breath. It’s over. Another shopping frenzy is behind us. For me, it never reached the level of frenzy because about six years ago I started doing all of my Christmas shopping online. Since that time the only physical store shopping I’ve done for the holidays is for holiday food or maybe if I’m driving by I’ll stop and pick up a box of See’s Candies somewhere but only if the See’s store has an outdoor entrance and I do not have to go through the mall to get to them. I’ve gotten quite proficient at holiday shopping. I also make a few gifts each year but I mostly purchase gifts. Family and friends can only take so many homemade gifts, even though I am now a quasi-professional in the world of crafts.

About two Sundays before Christmas I pour a large cup of coffee splashed with eggnog, set my iPod and Bose to my Christmas playlist, and begin. I’m usually wearing Christmas pajamas from the previous year. My daughter often buys Christmas PJs for me. I start with a recipient list sitting next to me. I have no idea whatsoever what I’m going to buy or look for. Sometimes I do have an idea for a gift based on a conversation with a family member in passing but usually I fly blind.

I’m a cautious Internet shopper and I avoid all the ads for “fantastic savings” and “one day only” sales that appear as I snoop around. Instead I shop at the major companies/stores I trust and use often and check out their offerings. Because I’m a returning customer I often get even deeper savings than a newish customer. It’s amazing to me what is to be found two weeks away from Christmas. I have learned that the discounts do not get much deeper any closer to Christmas. There will be a bargain or two if there’s a certain something a shopper is looking for but the best discounts are about two weeks prior to Christmas or even a week-and-a-half before.

My goal each year now that I’m experienced at this method of shopping is to only purchase items with free shipping and deep discounts. If I find something I love and the shipping isn’t there or the price is a bit high I shop for the same item at other online stores and have never been disappointed. One year I bought beautiful cashmere sweaters for the men and women in my family for almost nothing as well as many other great gifts. I find I can give more gifts and nicer quality gifts by shopping online.

As the gifts are delivered to my door, I wrap them immediately and place them under the tree. I have a nice wrapping paper storage unit that sits unobtrusively by the garage door so that in just a short time the gifts are wrapped and the wrapping mess is put away awaiting the next delivery. The entire shopping process takes about two hours and the subsequent wrapping about 15 minutes per delivery. This will change some when there are grandchildren of course. I recently purchased an item for $50 that sold for $100 at most stores I visited online. A little diligent searching can produce amazing results. It included free shipping.

I believe the reason for the amazing discounts and free shipping is simple. If I visit my local Macy’s their display items are limited in floor space. If I shop online at Macy’s I’m shopping their huge warehouses loaded with goods. Their goal is to reduce inventory by discounting to thousands or millions of customers during a short seasonal period. My local Macy’s tries to unload their floor items and whatever is delivered by truck during these days and stored locally. I read yesterday that retailers this year did not overstock their mall stores because they were stuck with inventory last year. Of course they offer discounts but they have overhead so the discounts can’t compete with what I find online.

Many years ago when my kids were little (before my online shopping) I did all of my Christmas shopping in October and November and sometimes part of December, wrapped it all, and then hid it. It was a huge undertaking. It took many trips to malls and stores and lugging everything in and out of the car. I hated that part but was desperate to avoid the Christmas rush at the shops. Then a few days before Christmas I took the kids to a large mall to visit Santa. While there we would walk around and look at all the decorations and occasionally go inside a store but we didn’t buy anything. We also would stop somewhere in the mall and have lunch and then head home with our house all decorated and presents from the family under the tree. (Santa’s presents were always hidden and wrapped in bright distinctive foil paper that was completely different from the regular paper under the tree.)

While at these malls with the kids on our Santa visits I got a perverse pleasure out of watching people screaming at their kids and pulling them around by the armpit. I witnessed countless arguments between couples over gift items and spending amounts. Everyone was on the run, exhausted, spending what they shouldn’t just to get the hell out of there while we strolled and listened to Christmas music. No bags and no stressful baggage.

The thought of going to a mall or store the day after Thanksgiving practically makes me break out in boils. Or participating in any other “early bird saver” deals at any store. Do we really needs items so desperately that we would go shopping at 4 a.m. or midnight? If so, why do we feel we need those items? One item last year that was promoted at one of the stores as an early bird special was online the same day, cheaper, with free shipping. It wasn’t an item I needed but I wanted to see what the online competition had to offer.

On the noon news a few minutes ago (Wednesday, 12/23) a reporter interviewed a long line of shoppers who had been in line since the previous evening to buy sneakers. One young man said the sneakers were for him, not a gift for anyone. They were over $200. The store had a strict one-per-person policy so he had enlisted family members to stand in line for him as well. I believe there were three family members eager to do this for him. He didn’t look like he was related to Paris Hilton so I’m wondering how he managed to come up with over $800 for four pairs of sneakers, but perhaps he has a large paper route. At any rate, he will probably sell them on eBay or something similar. But many of the people in line were actually interested in the sneakers for themselves. I wouldn’t stand in a freezing line for hours for a blood transfusion.

I have never liked shopping. I pretended to like it when I was younger because that’s what girls and women are supposed to like. My friends all loved shopping so I’d go along. Now that I’m older I don’t pretend behaviors anymore. I don’t like shopping and I do my best to avoid it. When friends want to do lunch and go shopping I go to the lunch portion of the outing then excuse myself and come home and walk my dogs.

Of course, I have to shop for some things. I do need food and items for my home; I do occasionally need clothing (but not often) and other things. However, I usually keep a list in my kitchen of things I need and when it gets fairly full I plan my trip and hit the stores in one outing. I probably shop once a month unless I run out of something I truly need. And how much does a person need? Some people like to hop in the car and head to a mall and just shop. Without a list. For no reason. Just an outing. Something to do. Mind-boggling.

If I do go to a physical store (if I need it today and can’t wait for it to be shipped) for a pink blouse, I visit the stores and go directly to the women’s section and look at blouses. I will know instantly whether or not there’s a pink blouse and if I don’t see one I don’t look at purple pants or cookware. I leave the store and go to another one in search of the pink blouse. This drives friends nuts if they are with me. It drives me nuts to shop with friends because they want to look at everything. I’m always amazed when we finish an outing and I have one bag with a pink blouse and the trunk is filled with their purchases. And they were just coming along with me to help me find a pink blouse.

The shopping gene may have skipped a couple of generations in my family. My mother feels as I do about shopping but her mother, my grandmother, loved to shop and my daughter loves to shop. I have memories of going shopping with my grandmother for a full day coming home with a small bag of thread. My daughter has always whined about the fact that we rarely have done the mother-daughter shopping ritual. I have gone shopping with her but usually after an hour I’m ready to come home. She can see “the look” and she starts getting nervous. She usually succeeds in getting me to continue by offering to buy lunch when she’s done. It only works if I’m very hungry.

My son and I once went shopping for important things we needed to set up his apartment when he went off to college. We had a huge list and a full shopping cart. I think we were at Wal-Mart getting the typical things one needs when setting up a first apartment. There were three things left on the list and we were having a tough time finding them. We had been in the store about an hour. Exasperated we looked at each other and almost simultaneously said, “Let’s get out of here.” We left our shopping cart and went to lunch and had Margaritas. Now that’s shopping. (Of course, we did eventually have to go shopping and get those items.)

My daughter and I went to Europe a few years ago and at the beginning of each day our tour group selected the day’s activities. A few of us always chose places of historical interest while the majority always looked for the equivalent of a CostCo. And when we were near large cities there were indeed large discount stores similar to Costco and the stores contained the same items.

We all split into touring preference groups. After our tiny group finished visiting a site such as Versailles, we would head back to the meeting point and eventually all the others from our group would arrive with bags full of stupid things. Not clever souvenirs made by local artisans. Oh, no. They would have bags of jeans, tops made in China, bedding made in China, and toys made in, well, you guessed it, China. I bought a cowbell in Switzerland. It was actually made by a cowbell person and the bells were actually worn by Swiss cows. We actually observed cows wearing these bells. They were beautiful. And the bells were pretty too.

Part of me wants to now delve into my opinion of excessive consumerism and sloth and gluttony and I’ve decided not to. I like things, I need things, but not as much as most people I know. Shopping for me is a necessity and nothing more. Walking the dogs or gardening or lunching with friends or watching a good movie are all things I’d rather do than visit a mall. In fact, I’d rather scrub out my trashcan than go to a mall. As of this writing I don’t believe I’ve stepped inside a shopping mall for three years. Maybe longer. When I do occasionally stop by a mall to purchase a box of See’s Candies I do not buy a lawnmower.

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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White Christmas – 1940 Version/2009 Version

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1940 Version:

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,

Just like the ones I used to know.

Where the treetops glisten,

And children listen,

To hear reindeer in the snow.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.

With every Christmas card I write.

May your days be merry and bright,

And may all your Christmases be white.

2009 Version:

[With apologies to Irving Berlin.]

I’m bracing for a light Christmas,

And trying not to have a fit.

All my dollars have lessened,

Ole’ Bernie’s imprisoned,

A crook who piled on the ________.

I’m bracing for a light Christmas,

No pricey Christmas cards to write.

May your days be wary, no blight,

And may future Christmases not bite.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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Rock Hudson (Part 1 of 1)

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I adored Rock Hudson. I’ve watched all of his movies, many times, and the entire television series, McMillan and Wife. In fact, the series is available on Netflix for “instant play.” I especially enjoy the Doris Day-Rock Hudson pairings. I have Pillow Talk and when I’m tired and need a boost I pop it in my DVD player and I’m taken away. I have no idea how many times I’ve watched Giant. In particular, I have an all time favorite movie scene from Giant, which I will share a bit later. I suspect there are some readers who already know the scene I’m talking about.

During most of his career no one knew he was gay. Perhaps the Hollywood insiders knew, and perhaps his intense die hard fans knew, possibly the gay community knew, but run of the mill fans did not. I was in the latter group. I’m here to say that when I found out, I was stunned. Yet, that knowledge, which meant I would never marry him and live in New York in a glorious penthouse and go to fancy restaurants and concerts and skiing in the winter and the Bahamas and have two kids, a boy and a girl, never diminished my adoration of this fabulous man. [Of the items on that wish list I did indeed eventually have a boy and a girl, but not by Rock Hudson. Sigh.]

Rock Hudson possessed an unusual talent. He was a tall, dark, and handsome guy with a booming voice and a strong male presence, yet he was tremendously comedic. It worked well because of his beauty. It was the same combination Lucille Ball exhibited. She was a beautiful woman with a sweet innocence in most of her films and on TV but in the blink of an eye could turn into a silly pile of goofiness. Seeing beautiful people switch effortlessly from stunning to hilarious works well. There are certainly funnier performers but they do not posses the combination that makes the attractive actor with comedy talents so unique. Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Doris Day, Rosalind Russell, Eve Arden. Hmm. I’m showing my age.

The world learned of Rock Hudson’s secret by the press release that he was dying of AIDS. AIDS was somewhat new to most of us though it was certainly popping up more frequently until Rock Hudson’s astonishing announcement when it then exploded upon our collective awareness. I recall discussions in the work place when we all learned of his pending doom and not all people felt sympathetic or empathetic. I’m afraid at that time knowledge of the disease was considered a “gay” disease when we now all know that it has no boundaries. Babies, women, children, the elderly, everyone can be candidates for the disease. Thanks to air travel the ground zero patient that brought it to this country happened to be gay. It could have come here via a hot college student who whored his or her way through travel on a summer vacation and spread it to college kids everywhere making it a college student disease. In fact, during that time there were secondary infections flying around the world but the flight attendant credited with its primary spread to this country was gay. It travels with promiscuity regardless of sexual preference. It infects accidentally with shared needles among addicts, sometimes blood transfusions, and sometimes simple accidents such as medical providers being pricked by a needle while assisting an AIDS patient. It’s a disease, not a doctrine.

Rock Hudson, being the major star he was, brought it out for the world to see. I’m sad to say that most people were more astonished that he was gay than that he was dying of AIDS. The fact he was gay, however, did not diminish my adoration of the man and his work nor has it ever. Actors play parts in films and plays. Their personal lives rarely reflect the parts they play. The better they are at their craft the more likely fans will lose themselves in the stories.

I understand he was close friends with his costars Doris Day, Susan Saint James, Elizabeth Taylor, and others. In fact, many women he worked with loved him not only as a strong romantic leading co-actor but because he was a tremendously fun and sincere person. He certainly appeared that way on talk shows and variety shows. Remember his appearances on The Carol Burnett Show? Unforgettable.

Today it’s hard, initially, to watch one of his movies without remembering the painful news of his pending doom. For those of us who loved him and knew so little about the horrific disease we were inconsolable. As the news grew in strength via the celebrity “news” mongers in the press, unlike the bunch we have today which make those earlier beasts pale by comparison, more was reported on the fact he was gay than was reported about HIV AIDS. With poor information and untrue beliefs being spread about AIDS it was nothing short of panic. For those of us who do not believe everything we see or read we waited for the storm to calm and over time we found the truth about Rock Hudson and about HIV AIDS. Calmer heads prevailed and today we are doing rather well with both issues. [We can do better.]

As I mentioned in last week’s blog on Tiger Woods, more than an estimated 33.2 million people live with the disease worldwide, and it has killed over an estimated 2.1 million people, including more than 330,000 children. Over three-quarters of these deaths occurred in sub-Saharan Africa. Worldwide, heterosexuals have the most cases of AIDS with homosexuals next and the remainder a combination of drug users, blood transfusion recipients, and miscellaneous transfers of the disease via accidental needle prick, etc. The reason it spreads and spreads is because people continue to engage in promiscuous and unprotected sex and other unsafe behaviors (drug paraphernalia sharing) then often bring it home to their wives and/or husbands and/or significant others.

Rock Hudson bravely provided the world with a wake up call. Nothing like a major hunk movie star coming out of the closet AND announcing he was dying of AIDS to get our attention. And we needed it. Many of us paid attention and began behaving more safely in our personal intimate contacts. Had we not learned of his illness, and had the news not been about a man such as Rock Hudson, we might be years behind our necessary awareness level and behind in research dollars. Elizabeth Taylor’s deep friendship with Rock Hudson turned her into a courageous advocate for research. Her fame brought many dollars to that cause in an effort to discover ways to identify and stall the advancement of HIV into full-blown AIDS.

And now I’ll close by sharing one of my favorite movie scenes of all time, as referenced in the first paragraph, with Rock Hudson and Elizabeth Taylor in Giant. In this scene Elizabeth Taylor and Rock Hudson, a married couple living on his huge ranch in Texas, have quarreled. She returns to her family’s elegant home in the east to be at her sister’s beautiful and refined wedding. Quite a departure from the rough and tumble ranch life she married into. Though his ranch is huge and he is wealthy, the differences in lifestyles are daunting. In the special scene I love he comes to the wedding to bring her back home to Texas and arrives just as the ceremony is taking place. He quietly stands behind Elizabeth Taylor just a few feet away but does not let her know he’s there. He’s edgy and in pain. She is sad watching her sister repeating the wedding vows that she herself had spoken not too long before. Slowly, she senses something. All Rock Hudson is doing in this scene is standing a few feet behind her, looking breathtakingly gorgeous. Elizabeth Taylor’s face, her fabulous face, changes as she becomes aware of his presence. She turns, seemingly in slow motion, and there he is. It was really difficult deciding who was more beautiful in that scene. A powerful heart stopping moment in movie history. Tremendous beauty, unforgettable magic, and in real life, a very brave pair of dear friends.

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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Another One Bites The Dust (Part 1 of 1)

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Another celebrity bites the moral dust. Is it me or does this seem to happen more frequently? Maybe it’s that the reporting predators are on high alert for fresh meat. Whatever the case, not a week goes by that we don’t read or hear about a celebrity who either kills dogs, has affairs with coworkers or interns, flirts with potential sex partners in bathrooms, or in the extreme, murders his girlfriend/lover/wife, or significant other.

Squeaky-clean Tiger Woods is a sad one for me. I’m not a golf fan but I’ve always liked the handsome young man. He seemed to stand out as one of the good guys with a lovely family and a fabulous career. Golf (on the surface) is a high-class sport. Crisp clean clothes, beautifully manicured lawns, gorgeous club houses, a genteel audience that carefully follows the famous players around the golf course, and strict behavior rules. I don’t care for sports and I don’t follow sports or celebrity athletes, but how can I not know about Tiger Woods? How can anyone not like him? What’s not to like?

When the news broke that he had a car accident at 2:30 in the morning my Spidey sense immediately made me tingle. I don’t watch “entertainment” gossip shows or read about celebrity gossip online or in any other form. I simply don’t care. But a celebrity of the caliber of a Tiger Woods hits every method of mass “news” dissemination so it was unavoidable. Because I’m a participating member of society and don’t have my head in a hole I heard about it. Even though I have tried to avoid follow-up details I have found that almost impossible. I know about the sex text(s) and the cocktail waitress and possible “others.” Yikes.

So now it’s all out there in the world and I am sad about it. Another hero folds under the pressure of his greatness. Now he’s plunged right back down to earth with us ordinary folk. Just another man who can’t keep his pants zipped. Another man with a lovely family. Another man who was too stupid to think he wouldn’t get caught. Another man with an over inflated sense of entitlement. Another man with a giant ego who thought he could do anything and get away with it. After all, it’s happened before and even worse things have happened than an affair with a cocktail waitress. How about a murderer (O.J.), a president who liked blue dresses (Clinton), a senator who tried to pick up a “date” in a public bathroom (Craig) and the list goes on. Those gentlemen DID get away with their bad behavior and for all intents and purposes, except for embarrassment, a pesky criminal trial, and a few days or months of public scrutiny, are happily living their lives much as before. And Tiger will too. This time next year it will be forgotten and replaced by breaking news that the Pope fathered a child who’s living in the San Fernando Valley with his mother, a stripper from Encino.

I had planned on posting a little piece on Rock Hudson and have been working on it for a couple of weeks. When the story about Tiger Woods broke I stopped and thought about it for a while. Rock Hudson also suffered a major hit to his fame and fortune when it was learned (a) he was gay, and (b) he was dying of AIDS. The fact that he announced he was gay was a surprise to most of his fans and at that time considered a fate worse than death. [Actually, he did have a fate worse than death, AIDS.] It took years for everyone to calm down and (a) accept the fact that gays walk among us and have from the beginning of time, and (b) AIDS is not a “gay” disease. AIDS is a worldwide disease that affects humans in a variety of ways. But the real issue was the fact that he was gay. It outraged our self-righteous world and filled the news for weeks.

To this day I don’t really know if Rock Hudson hid the illness (as speculated for years) to prevent the world from learning he was gay or he just preferred a little privacy while he decided what to do about dying. I do know that in the days of Rock Hudson and others of his fame and stature it was necessary to hide many things about their personal lives for their careers to remain strong. Celebrities, for all the glamour, are not allowed to be normal. I’m glad I’m not famous and can go to dinner and visit with my friends and be goofy and make mistakes and that it won’t appear on the evening news or in the newspaper or online.

It’s hard when the celebrities we love fall from grace. Rock Hudson’s news was heartbreaking because he was going to die, but everyone blamed it on the fact he was gay. The unenlightened among us decided to hate him. Just a quick Google turned up the following: More than an estimated 33.2 million people live with the disease worldwide, and it has killed over an estimated 2.1 million people, including more than 330,000 children. Over three-quarters of these deaths occurred in sub-Saharan Africa. Worldwide, heterosexuals have the most cases of AIDS with homosexuals next and the remainder a combination of drug users, blood transfusion recipients, and miscellaneous transfers of the disease via accidental needle prick, etc. The biggest reason it spreads and spreads is because people continue to engage in promiscuous and unprotected sex and other unsafe behaviors (drug paraphernalia sharing) then often bring it home to their wives and/or husbands and/or significant others.

I wonder if anyone will hate Tiger? Having sex with a cocktail waitress when you are married with a family and a pristine career is just about as shocking as Rock’s news. I bet Tiger’s life will normalize and he will go on to be a hero once more. Casual sex for Rock was more deadly than Tiger’s. So far. People who play around often end up just like Rock. Or Magic Johnson. Magic Johnson’s wife was tested shortly after his doctor gave him the news and she was cleared. She punched him.

I don’t know if this is true but Magic was rumored to have had hundreds or even over a thousand sexual encounters before and during his marriage. It is also unknown but he has stated he became infected via sex with a woman. I looked around the Internet to see if there were any rumors he may have had sex with a man but I didn’t find any. So for all those who still believe you can only get HIV AIDS if you’re gay, good luck to you in your sexual behaviors.

It only takes one encounter to bring home death and destruction. So far, Tiger is lucky. So far. Wonder if he ever thought about that as he played. Do they ever?

[I’ll post my blog on Rock Hudson next week.]

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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