Losing Weight and Suffering-Part 2 of 3

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Most weight loss plans work; even the goofy and scary plans. At some point, however, reality comes back and our lifestyles defeat us. All our hard work slowly slips away because we lack the ability to control our weight management plans over the long haul. The diet and exercise industry thrives because of these failures.

Exercise. Some plans encourage exercise above all else. Some plans expect you to quit your job and leave your family so that you can devote all your waking hours to exercising. My adult children are currently regular attendees at gyms in their respective towns. They go to the gym after work and get home quite late. They can do this because they are not married with children. They can go home and do the few things needed to survive the workweek and fall into bed. I’ve tried this method when I had a family and later when I had a partial family and it is not workable long term for most of us. I actually wanted to see my kids at the end of the day.

The other exercise issue is what plan to follow. There are as many exercise plans for weight loss as there are food plans. Many suggest 15 to 20 minutes a day, three days a week. What bull. That’s barely enough to keep your heart beating. (I’ve tried that.) Many suggest gym memberships. (See aforementioned desire to see children.) Some suggest home equipment (I have had many and currently I have a treadmill). There are step-by-step DVDs, countless books, and thousands of magazine articles. I’ve tried many combinations of exercises and I’m also an extremely active person. Currently, I walk my dog for an hour every day and my daughter’s dog for 30 to 45 minutes or so every day (different neighborhoods and the dogs have different walking styles so I don’t often walk them together without injuring myself with entwined leashes) and I maintain a small business, which requires an amazing amount of physical activity, and I garden several times a week. Not the fun planting flowers gardening. I do the crawling under the bushes and pulling weeds gardening. This is where I’m at today and I honestly can’t manage another activity during my already busy day.

Besides the cost of gym membership, I have always had an “ew” factor when it comes to public cleanliness. I do not relish touching equipment previously sweated upon by unknown humans with varying degrees of hygiene management. I also do not like to either be hit on (in my younger days) or even worse, sneered at because I don’t look like Jennifer Aniston. I’d rather grunt and groan in the privacy of my own home. Or jog with my dog(s).

But the most important part of a healthy life is to be active. Gardening, walking, jogging, errands on foot when possible instead of the car, moving with vigor instead of barely moving, all contribute to a healthier life. Throwing in a specific exercise plan if possible is a bonus but rather than be defeated by such a plan, just being as active as possible consistently throughout the day in the long run is the best possible and do-able choice.

Because I’m a professional dieter it has been my experience that food is more important in my weight loss than exercise. I can hear thunderous denouncements throughout the Internet but it’s been MY experience. I have engaged in some intense exercise programs and followed a diet prescribed by the exercise plan only to lose nothing over several months. However, I have dieted without exercise and have lost weight as long as I am active and slightly hungry. If I feel a little hungry for the bulk of a week I lose weight. Whether or not I exercise has absolutely no impact on that part of my weight loss plan. It’s the pangs of hunger that allow me to lose weight. It’s deprivation and suffering over a period of time that gets the weight off for me. And for most overweight people I know. Again, if there are nonbelievers, check out weight loss on the Internet. There are millions of sad dieters trying everything under the sun. All they really have to do is eat less, eat better, be a little hungry, and be active. It’s truly that simple.  

I now exercise for general physical agility and health and have given up hoping it will help me lose weight. It is necessary to keep the body going and to keep fit and it’s important for the heart and lungs. All of that goes together so that if you are dieting along with it you do derive a benefit from it in your overall health. But I have given up thinking I’m going to lose weight with exercise as my primary tool. For me and countless others I have known, it’s what we eat and how much we eat. The exercise is a must for the rest of it but the food quantity and quality is key. And if you come from a gene pool designed to resist a famine, like myself, then you have to work a little harder.

I have watched various movie star interviews over the years and over the past few years, in particular, some of the young women have been very honest about how they maintain their figures. They spend HOURS every day with a personal trainer and they have chefs that prepare perfect meals. Some of these women admit to not eating at social events but rather picking at their meals and pretending to eat. Many have said they eat first at home rather than indulge. For them it’s crucial to stay competitive in their field. For the rest of us, it’s crucial to be healthy to live a long life.

I remember a period, a short period, when I attended a gym and when I got home I quickly prepared a meal for myself and the kids and then did whatever routine things I needed to do and I absolutely had no time for much else. Food preparation and exercise became my entire life. If I wasn’t exercising or preparing food I was shopping for food or cleaning up the mess from the preparation and consumption of the food. Saturdays and Sundays were spent organizing foods for the week. Yeah, there’s no suffering there. (Let us not forget laundry and all the other stuff we do during the week.)

Fad diets make you feel awful so it’s better to choose healthy foods and eat small amounts of them several times a day. Information about healthy food choices is everywhere. But for me here’s the problem with such a simple plan. I do just fine on my own in my little house preparing simple healthy foods. But I’m not a hermit and I do socialize. So I prepare my lovely simple foods all week and lose a few pounds then go out to one or two lunches or dinners and completely blow that small weight loss sometimes ending the week with zero weight loss or sometimes a gain. 

Another facet of weight loss is your physical body type and situation. When you are “matronly” it is difficult to keep going down on the scale if you eat out. In my case, at my age, (Social Security plus) and with Type II diabetes, there is very little room for food management errors. I have discovered that if I don’t spend the bulk of my week hungry I will not lose weight and if I go out to eat more than three or four times a month I will not lose weight. And I’m talking about perfect attention to healthy eating the remainder of my week/month. In other words, I maintain my matronly body. If I were at goal weight this would be fantastic. I am not at my goal weight.

Goal weight. I’ve been at my goal weight countless times. I’ve even been able to manage my goal weight for several months. But somehow over time the pounds come back and it’s usually because I’ve entered into a more social part of life. Maybe too many weddings, birthdays, or the holidays or a vacation. At some point I lose the will to eat lettuce at someone’s baby shower and find a piece of cake sitting on my lap. Almost without thinking I eat it. Don’t get me wrong though. I’ve spent many baby showers with only a cup of tepid tea. In the end, it doesn’t matter. I will gain those pounds back.

When we see very large people on TV being tortured by trainers and weight loss professionals we know in our hearts that most of these people will not be able to maintain these new weights without tremendous attention to lifestyle changes (or having the trainers move in with them). Slowly slowly slowly they start eating out and making poor choices. Often poor choices come when we are busy. It’s much easier to eat something you can swing by and pick up and not cook than to prepare a meal.

This evening for example I made a very healthy meal and I made enough to refrigerate leftovers for a few days. It took a little over an hour to prepare the meal and place the leftovers in individual containers. That doesn’t include eating the meal and cleaning up after. Let’s say it took about two hours total. So I always prepare enough when I cook to have leftovers for a few more meals. Often we don’t have that hour in our lives and that’s when we get into trouble. Note: I did that when my kids were home but one of them, who shall remain nameless, ate the leftovers. And this same child often ate all of the planned leftovers prior to them becoming leftovers. You know who you are.

And not all bodies are created equal. Some of us simply have a tough time losing weight no matter what we do. Or have an even more difficult time keeping it off. And that’s me. Depending on the origins of your gene pool you could be in for a lifelong struggle. Yes, the American diet and fast food frenzy is certainly partially responsible but it is not making everyone fat. Just those of us who have a propensity to be fat based on our ancestral beginnings and mergings. Sadly, some formerly thin gene pools come to this country and change the pool by embracing our eating styles. And it isn’t just fast food. Restaurant portions are huge, ingredients are not always healthy, and preparation methods are not always weight management friendly. It’s hard to lose weight, it’s hard to keep it off, and it’s hard to live in a vacuum where you are never exposed to destructive foods.

In my case, it’s a major health concern to eat the healthiest foods I can. I do that 80% of the time. But I am not fooled by the fact that the 20% I don’t watch is the problem. Next Sunday will be the last blog on this topic because I am going to discuss insomnia after that which also contributes to weight problems. Yeah, I have raging insomnia too.

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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Losing Weight and Suffering-Part 1 of 3

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I would like to start by defending the title of this blog series. I’m a professional dieter. If degrees were given for dieting I’d have a PhD. There is nothing I don’t know about dieting, nothing I haven’t tried, including the popular program in the ‘70s consisting of injections from the urine of pregnant women and all the major diets: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I can lose weight and I have lost hundreds of pounds. I always end up back in my current state: matronly.

For those who do not diet or have never dieted or should diet but haven’t, these blogs are for you.

First, the word “diet” is not about weight loss. It’s simply what you eat. You may have a diet of M&Ms (I know someone who only ate M&Ms day in and day out and she was skinny) or a diet of tomatoes. Whatever you eat is your diet. I believe the more enlightened way of putting it these days is “weight management.” Or more correctly, weight mismanagement. That’s because it is the individual’s poor eating style for his or her body that is the problem. I know there are some people with glandular problems but most of us in the overweight world simply do not manage our weight properly. Note: never compare what you eat to what your friends, neighbors, or coworkers eat. It can be very depressing. I know a tiny woman who eats more than I do and we are about the same age.

I was a trim child, a pudgy adolescent, a less pudgy early teen, a skinny teen, a skinny young adult, a pregnant whale, twice, and then settled into yo-yo dieting with Type II Diabetes as a chaser.   That’s where I am today.

During my life, especially as a child, I was always hungry. I was so hungry after school that I would shake and sometimes get foggy-headed. I could not do my homework until after dinner even though I was encouraged to do so because they did not want me to stay up late on a school night. I remember BEGGING for something to eat and when denied because dinner was in an hour I would sneak spoonfuls of sugar from the sugar bowl and would feel better immediately. I often had a small after school snack but it did not take care of the deep, gnawing hunger.

I learned years later that it was low blood sugar, the opposite of what I have now, and is a precursor to Adult Onset Diabetes, which oddly is “high” blood sugar. Go figure.  Doctors determined I did not have Juvenile Diabetes. Had we known then what we know now perhaps I might have had a better handle on my health as an adult. (Probably not though. Who cares about health when you’re a kid or even a young adult?)

Some women find themselves with gestational diabetes when they are pregnant and that happened to me with my first child. It went away after my son’s birth and it did not appear during my second pregnancy. I was warned, however, that it would probably come back “some day.” That’s odd to me now because no one ever told me why. I believe I now know why. I gained too much weight with that pregnancy and though many women do, my body, in particular my pancreas, could not handle the insulin required. A little genetic squeeze I got from my dad’s side of the family. It meant that from that point forward I needed to pay close attention to my diet. I was 27 and not interested in that information. I loved to cook and I loved to eat and to go out and I was (and still am) addicted to sweets. Fortunately I have never been addicted to alcohol or drugs because I’ve known some diabetics who were and they are no longer with us. 

I have taken a number of classes on nutrition over the years and one class was all about Adult Onset Diabetes. It was the best class I have ever taken on the topic of weight management. First, we were all there for the same reason: we were having a hard time managing our diabetes and needed help with meal planning and exercise. Many of my classmates were new to diabetes and were horrified to learn that the remainder of their lives would be devoted to planning and preparing foods in a completely different way than ever before in their lives. Many were very heavy, most were late middle aged, and all were worried. One was a chef’s daughter and about to launch a new restaurant with yummy foods. However, at the conclusion of the course she prepared treats for us but prepared them in the style she learned during the class and they were great.

Not all heavy people have diabetes. The reason we see more and more people with diabetes is because they may have a predisposition to it IF they do not manage their weight and health properly. And for a potential diabetic, that’s something that should be done very early on, particularly when women get pregnant. I know many women who gained tremendous amounts of weight during pregnancy but when talking with them about their family trees they do not know of anyone with diabetes. Just knowing your family health history would be a great benefit to preventing Type II diabetes in many cases. Or delaying its onset. My next onset occurred when I was 42.

Because of this disease I have tried many weight loss plans. Some have actually been quite good. However, most of them are unrealistic in our society and I have fallen victim to feeling deprived if I can’t indulge in life’s little food goodies. Though I have often managed to find a sensible, healthy weight loss plan I can’t seem to keep the weight off. I’m great at maintaining though! (Before I close for this week I would like to point out that I am currently eating a sensible high fiber, complex carb diet with fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and beans and brown rice. I prepare these foods with little or no fat and I keep the meals simple. When testing my blood sugar it is normal. I haven’t lost a single pound.) Next Sunday the “E” word.

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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Writing/Publishing Your Great American Novel-Part 6 of 6

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Working with the self-publishing house I selected (authorhouse.com) was fantastic. I was assigned my own personal representative and she did it all. She explained everything I needed to know, suggested a myriad of services, and kept me informed on every step of the process. I paid only for the services I could afford and she suggested many ideas for the first time author. I had a credit card I set up that I used specifically for my publication and marketing needs.

After the book finally went to print I received a copy of it in the mail. It was a surprise from the publisher. I stood at my mailbox for a very long time staring at it. It was, as I said before, like having a baby. I cradled my little book baby and was filled with emotion. By the time I floated back to the house I was in another world.

After the first couple of weeks I was given lists of things to do by the publisher and I immediately started in. I contacted many local bookstores and, in particular, a bookstore in my hometown. I prepared letters of introduction and actually enclosed a copy of my book so that the managers could get a feel of what I had to offer. The publisher provided sample letters of introduction, beautiful postcards, business cards, flyers, press releases, etc. Not a single bookstore agreed to a book signing, not even in my small hometown. I was stunned. I kept sending it out and I received nothing in return. I then read that I should follow up with phone calls or visits. I did that a few times and got big fat “no thank yous.”

I continued reading methods of a successful launch and learned it was a smart idea to join local literary clubs, organizations, associations, and groups. I found quite a few and picked one to start and I began their online application, but there at the bottom of the application, in bold letters: “no self-published authors.” (Note to similar organizations: please put this information at the TOP of the application.)

Now, I don’t know about you but I’ve certainly read a lot of iffy books in my life and I know my book is not in that category nor does self-publishing automatically mean my work was turned down by traditional publishers and agents. No indeed because none of them ever read it. It may be rough around the edges for a first effort but I have received countless emails praising my story and characters. Many of my emails request a sequel!  I suppose to be fair the literary group I tried to join didn’t know that, but perhaps a screening which includes sample writings or even the book should be requested before they flatly refuse your admission to their elite group(s). Again, as in all areas of life, snobbery is alive and well.

Around this time my sister and I planned a lovely reception in the art gallery she shared with her artist friends in a beautiful upscale town in northern California. I invited a large group of family and friends, we had a lovely buffet and wine, and it was a fantastic launching of my book. I hired a professional photographer and a guitarist and the evening was truly spectacular. I received a disc from the photographer which I converted into a slideshow with music that I placed on my website.  I started selling copies via email.  More recently the last couple of years I’ve taken copies to my craft fairs, farmers markets, and festivals (I also have a small craft business).

Through much effort on my part I finally got it out there and began to enjoy a modest return for that effort. I receive emails from all over the country from strangers. Sometimes people at the craft fairs are visiting relatives or friends here from out of state and they take one of my books home then share it with their family and friends. The book has tremendous eye appeal and some people actually purchase the book simply because it’s beautiful—thanks to Mylette’s amazing artistic talent.

Had I prepared a larger advertising budget, which I’m planning for the second book, I believe it would have launched more smoothly. There are many promotions I tried that I would not waste my time doing again. My profits were modest and by modest I don’t mind telling you that I was able to carpet my house and take a little trip or two with friends on the proceeds. And for me, that was fine. I mostly wanted to write and publish and I did. And it still sells and I still promote it. It has been a rewarding experience in countless ways and now I know what to do the next time.

When I visit book stores with my son, which is every time we get together, I immediately go to the research computers that are placed around the stores for customers and type in the name of my book and it pops up with my beautiful book cover. I leave it there for all to see.  My little baby is all grown up and out in the world. (Next week: The Diet)

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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Writing/Publishing Your Great American Novel-Part 5 of 6

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As I said early on, these blogs are meant to get you started. I’m not qualified to tell you what to write or how to write, just how to get started and some of the basics so you won’t feel bogged down. So many people simply can’t start because it seems overwhelming and it truly isn’t. I simplified the process because it is simple. Just do it. Your style, content, and methods will come with time.

Once you are comfortable with your completed manuscript, put it aside for a while and start researching publication possibilities. There are so many decisions to make in this area.

Ideally you would find an agent, the agent would find a publisher, and off you would go on a whirlwind of book signings and radio and TV interviews and speaking engagements at universities and join the lecture circuit. If that’s what you want, it’s possible, however, becoming a successful writer is about as promising as becoming a famous movie star. But what is a successful writer? For me it was just about the writing and getting it out there. 

Let’s say your book is good. Let’s even say it rivals Checkhov's writings (congrats). There are many elements surrounding you and your book that will determine its handling. One of the major hurdles is--you. If you haven’t been submitting magazine articles, essays, or other public submissions, you are not going to be well received by the industry. It’s not that they don’t want fresh talent, it’s that they are overwhelmed by it. As a result they pick through prospects looking for writers who have at least a small track record. They also hope you have a family member or friend who has a track record. Knowing someone who has successfully published in the traditional way is a huge hurdle you can overcome. Often you will slide into their agent/publishing pool and in time will publish or at the very least--they will read your submission as a courtesy to your friend/family member.

Another hurdle is education. I have a modest A.A. degree from a local community college and it was an adequate vocational tool for the work I did during my life. It is not prestigious and if you think our country is not class conscious, you need to read more. Not only is education important but also the school you attended is important. A young woman from Vassar on the Today Show is more appealing than an older woman from community college on local access TV. 

When you submit manuscripts some agents/publishers require a short bio. That’s where a lot of writers get the shaft. Again, it’s because agents and publishers are overwhelmed with manuscripts and if the young woman from Vassar has a compelling story and it’s sitting somewhere near yours in the mail stack, well, guess what???

There are excellent books listing agents and publishers. I purchased two large volumes and spent weeks reading them and selecting possibilities for submission. Each listing sets out exactly what they want and requirements are quite different for each. The listings also describe what material they are accepting so if you write a story about a lost dog don’t send it to an agent or publisher dealing with war stories. (Unless the dog was lost during the war then you might have a chance. If the dog went to Vassar, better yet. If the dog is a vampire, well, the sky's the limit.)

After I selected a fairly large number of agents and publishers I started preparing packets fulfilling the exact requirements of each and started making trips to the post office. In a few weeks as I continued to send packets out I started receiving replies. I have to say it’s a very supportive industry. I never received a nasty response. Though most of the responses were form letters they were encouraging and thanked me for my offering. Most of the replies stated they were not accepting new clients "at this time." If I was best friends with Toni Morrison, however, and had mentioned that in my bio, I would have at least gotten my foot in the door. The responses were much the same whether it was from an agent or a publisher. What I learned almost immediately is that my submissions were not being read. I certainly would not mind if I was rejected because my story wasn’t acceptable--but it wasn’t read. These entities receive too many submissions and I didn’t meet the minimum requirements for even a cursory examination.

After I had sent out a small fortune in postage, I received my only handwritten response. It was short and kind and the agent suggested I consider self-publishing. I had heard of vanity presses and self-publishing and it sounded like a lot of work with iffy results. Especially vanity press publication. So as usual, I spent quite a bit of time researching those options.

The two methods are similar. In my limited experience, however, I determined that vanity publishing left it all up to the writer and in the end you ended up with a garage full of books you had to schlep around to sell. With self-publishing you can pick and choose what services you want from the publisher and they do it for you and they keep the books and/or keep the book as print-on-demand. My publisher (authorhouse.com) has many services and they keep my book and print it for sale and distribution. I can order books to take to festivals and events and readers can order it online or at bookstores everywhere. I do not have the desire to spend every day hitting the streets to sell my book. You can purchase ads through a self-publisher and all sorts of press releases, etc. Though you may be small potatoes, you can successfully publish your book this way and many writers are turning to this method because you have all the control. If you do a little research you will discover the following I just found to include with this blog:

“Self-publishing is a branch of publishing in which the author publishes his own works, cutting out the middlemen and raking in all the profits himself. With the advent of computers and desktop publishing programs, this approach has become increasingly viable.”

I would add that it not only is viable but it may be your only way to publish. However, try the traditional route and see if it works for you. I’m not sure I will try traditional the next time even though I now have a track record.  With self-publishing you can look at your work as a small business. A small business of writing and publishing. I think that’s a fantastic way to go though perhaps not as profitable as traditional publishing initially. It’s a competitive field. More on that next Sunday which will be the last blog on writing and publishing. New blogs on insomnia, dieting, and other worldly topics are in the works!

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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Writing/Publishing Your Great American Novel-Part 4 of 6

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Most publishers want manuscripts to meet their specific standards. Requirements are similar throughout the industry but to be on the safe side, prepare your story in Word. At some point it might be converted to .pdf or it will be done for you. Double space your manuscript and use one-inch borders. Indent for paragraphs. That’s just basic but be warned you could be asked to change it. Self-publishing often requires you do a lot of the grunt work yourself and that isn’t bad. It’s a wonderful way to learn how to do things right. I started my book in WordPerfect but had to convert it all to Word.  It was fairly easy but I had to go over it with a fine-toothed comb because some of the transitioned spacing and words didn’t work well.

Editing is my favorite part of writing. I do not have a set method I use because it depends on other areas of my life. Sometimes I write for days and days and days without stopping. Then I may not get back to my computer for a few days because my life by this time has gotten out of control. Once I have my life back in order I sit back down and read what I wrote and edit. I love that part. I always find better ways of saying things and I’m often inspired to write more in certain spots. I also remove crappola. Sometimes I save the crappola and place it in a “crappola” file on my computer. It may be unsuitable for my current story but if I like how it reads I save it for another.

I rarely print out my pages until the entire story is set. I do several edits and think it’s almost done but then I print it out and find it’s not. I use a red pen, put my feet up and read it from beginning to end. I also love that part. The first read on paper. Next, I make all the corrections which takes a very long time and I do not print it out again—yet. I read it on the computer from beginning to end making smaller edits. I may do this a dozen times. Maybe more. Then I print it out again. At this point it’s almost born but I make copies and give it to selected family members and friends. Not only do they find things I missed but they often have suggestions. My daughter did not like any of the names I had selected for my characters and had compelling reasons for me to change them. She’s has a theater arts degree and knows the importance of a properly named character. My son has an English degree and you can guess what he suggested! (He is also a writer but mark my word, he will not be a simple story teller. He has one of those brains that sees the universe—and understands it.) My mom questioned some of my facts in certain time periods, which sent me back to research.

When I’m asked if writing is difficult it’s hard to answer. I do not find it difficult but it certainly zaps the time right out of your life and it becomes your life. Your family situation makes writing challenging sometimes. For me, however, the hardest part is stopping. I truly can sit here and write until I ache. My back went out from a gardening mishap and I had to set a timer to remind myself to get up from the computer and walk around and stretch. When I had my original 700 or so pages I realized for my story that was too much. I wanted to attract readers who wanted a simple story with a little excitement. The competition for the attention of readers is tremendous. For my first book I wanted to simply get it out there. My next stories may be longer. I love reading a book that goes on forever but I also love reading a book I can read from start to finish on a rainy day. That’s what I ended up with. A rainy day book. The sky’s the limit in that area. Back next Sunday.

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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