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Saturday, July 24, 2010

For Auld Lang Syne!

[New blogs posted every weekend. For previous blogs please visit “blog archive” to the lower right of this screen. Click on the small black arrows for a drop down list.]

I frequently gush about my long time love of the computer. There are countless benefits I have received from the computer but none so priceless as connecting with family and friends who are far away or rediscovering friends I thought I had lost track of forever. Over the last couple of years I have been in the happy state of almost weekly discoveries and transported back to my youth in a way I never thought possible.

I spent my teens in a small town known for long hot summers. My family moved to the small town from a large city. I was thirteen and learned life in a small town was very different from life in a large city. Add to that all the kids grew up together as a cohesive bunch of semi-siblings. It made me the “new” kid for my entire time there and made for interesting moments. It was very different for my city-born mother too but not for my dad. He thrived from day one having spent his youth in a small farming community in the south.

Though I experienced an unsettling period of adjustment early on, after enrolling in school I found I was enjoying life as a small town teen. The first few weeks were tough but the kids were a friendly bunch. I made a few cultural mistakes but I learned quickly. I wrote to my friends “back home” and they thought my new social activities and experiences were funny. I still had family in my previous hometown so we visited a few times in the first few months and I was able to visit my old friends but after a while the visits stretched to once a year then I don't remember going back until I was a young adult. Now I rarely visit my birth home though it isn’t that far away. I lost track of all my city childhood friends. I now think of the small town as my hometown though I only spent a little over six years there yet spent thirteen years in my birth city. That's how significant teen years are to a person's development.

There were cliques much like all schools but in a small town kids move freely between the cliques and for the most part everyone gets along. Of course there are always a few exceptions. While whiling away those years I often felt like I was in a teen movie: snappy cars, hamburger drive-ins, drive-in movies, outdoor skating rink, swimming in swimming holes or the rivers or lakes, cruising the drag, rock and roll, baseball in the park, stock car racing, dancing forever. It was our American Graffiti. (In fact, American Graffiti was filmed in the town I currently live in which is only an hour south of my small town home.)

When I left home I then lived in many places throughout my adult life. I married, raised a family, divorced, and kept on moving. Because my parents remained in the same town I always knew it was my home base, which was comforting no matter where I lived, or what I was experiencing. I loved visiting the folks during summers to enjoy the summer nights again. I could always go home to touch base with my comfort zone before heading back to my sometimes-complicated life.

Teen life in a small town, especially with hot days and warm summer nights, is special. Though there may not appear to be much to do in a small town, we always managed to have a fun time. We also got into our fair share of trouble. We were young and spirited and full of “ideas.” Not all of our ideas were good. I do not recall ever being bored. When my kids hit their teen years I was disappointed their social lives and that of their friends wasn’t as deep or rich as mine was. They too went to high school in a small town but it was a small town that was close to urban areas and the influence and availability of activities in the urban areas pulled them in that direction unlike the small town activities I enjoyed. Basically, I loved my teens and they did not love their teens. It was something they had to “get through.”

Though I experienced my right of passage and angst like all teens I still loved it. I remember getting ready to go to a dance with my friends and the minute I opened the front door and felt the warm summer night I was filled with great expectations. We were all decked out with poofy hair and snappy summer outfits, most of us sporting tans, and as was fashionable in that era, makeup fit for Cleopatra. To this day I long for those summer evenings but live in a town with frigid windy summer evenings. It’s the middle of July as I write this and I just watered my garden—in a parka. I might have to make a change.

Over the last few years some of my old teen friends have found each other. We have gone on a few “field” trips and met here and there and we have communicated by email. We are spread out all over the country. More recently social networking has opened up a whole new method for finding old friends. The referrals are flying. It’s amazing how we’ve connected and that we still enjoy each other’s company.

Because of a popular social networking site I’ve been on for about two years, last weekend I had yet another actual reunion with friends at my house. I admit that these reunions I’ve experienced over the past few years have turned me into an emotional and sentimental pile of mush. I adore seeing these friends and can’t wait to find more. This past weekend was so special I couldn’t stop smiling long after it ended. All day the following day as I walked around my house I kept thinking about how amazing it was we were all sitting in my living room chatting about everything as though we were getting ready for one of those warm summer night dances.

Sometimes these reunions I enjoy so much require that some of us travel great distances to reunite. It doesn’t matter. Most of us have retired or are about to retire and have lots of vacation time at our disposal to take these trips and visit. I’m not sure why it took so long to get to this point but I suspect a couple of reasons kept us apart.

First, we all went our separate ways and developed lives and lost touch. In urban areas many teens stay put because education and jobs are more easily found in that setting. Small town kids typically must move to attend college and find jobs. It didn’t mean we didn’t want to be in each other’s lives but it wasn’t practical and time marched on and we met new friends and developed other interests and lived adult lives. Also when we were developing our adult lives we didn’t have today’s technology and it wasn’t as easy to keep in touch. I suppose we could have phoned but if we weren’t keeping up with the daily life of a friend it was hard to sustain a phone conversation. No back-story to keep it going and one can only talk about the “good old days” for so long.

With email, text messaging, and social networking sites, we can catch up with a friend’s life in a relatively short period of time and from then on it’s simple to have a daily “hello” either with social networking or more privately with email. We can exchange photos and view a person’s entire life with a click.

Technology has reunited millions of family and friends around the world. We are so lucky to live in an age where we can extend our friendships for many years. I can’t wait to find more friends. I’m going to start looking for my pre-teen childhood friends next. [I know you are out there.]

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We'll take a cup o'kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business or entity that knows how to treat customers at least some of the time if not always.

This week I received excellent customer service from:

N/A

[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author. Blog series began in March 2009.]

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I feel pretty!

[New blogs posted every Sunday. For previous blogs please visit “blog archive” to the lower right of this screen. Click on the small black arrows for a drop down list.]

When Janet Reno became our attorney general back in the dark time, not a day went by that someone didn’t comment on her appearance. And not favorably. Early on Barbara Bush received the same treatment. Hilary is constantly criticized about her wardrobe choices and sometimes her hair. Like vultures at a kill, paparazzi pick movie stars and celebrities apart. If they wear the wrong shoes it hits the headlines. Recently we had Barbara Boxer’s hair.

Who cares?

Though Janet Reno and I do not share the same political leanings, I never once questioned her appearance. In fact, I didn’t understand what was wrong with her appearance. To me she was an intelligent, sensibly dressed woman. She was not Paris Hilton and I bet a million dollars she wouldn’t want to be. I also suspect her simple clothing choices were selected for comfort to hold up through what must have been very long tortuous days.

Same with Barbara Bush. I’m not a Bush family fan but it has nothing to do with their physical attributes or lack thereof. She is not Shakira and doesn’t pretend to be. Why would she even care about her appearance other than to be expensively and modestly dressed, neat and tidy, with her signature white hair? I do not care for the woman for many reasons but her appearance is not one of the reasons. In fact, she has a friendly motherly demeanor though I believe she is as far from that as a barracuda is to a bunny. (I don't believe respect for the elderly is a given. It’s earned. She didn’t earn it. There are many people in rest homes that do not receive visitors and it’s not because they have mean families though there is that too. It’s because they made enemies. White hair doesn’t mean you’re sweet.)

Carly Fiorina’s accidental open mic comment about Barbara Boxer’s hair amazed me because it came at a time when political crappola was flying and she should have been concentrating on issues and not hair--I thought. I realize Carly didn’t mean for that comment to hit the airwaves via the open mic but though it was a mistake the fact she said it and thought it makes me wonder why she felt it was important enough to repeat at all? If she has nothing else pushing her brain cells around but Barbara Boxer’s hair is she worthy of public office?

It’s like Clinton and the blue dress. Was he a good president? Did the blue dress matter? Yes, it mattered. Being the leader of our country should have made him tend to his zipper while in office. Total lack of judgment. Did I want that man with access to the button if he couldn’t zip?

The paparazzi of course are responsible for most of this. We also sometimes hear such nonsense from our mainstream “reporters.” They have created the monsters we’ve become by blasting us with comments about celebrity appearances. If a celebrity is seen at a grocery store in sweats it’s the lead story on the evening tabloid “magazine” show. TMZ, the most repulsive of the bunch, is particularly disgusting when it comes to catching people at leisure, some when they aren’t feeling well and look like they’ve been run over by a steamroller. As I’ve mentioned in a few postings I’m preparing a blog on TV and I’ve forced myself to watch certain shows to get a feel for their contributions to society. Argh.

When I garden sometimes I find I have to dash to the nursery to get something I need. My gardening ensembles are frightening. They are also stained with countless spots obtained from years of gardening and house projects. I wear them over and over because they are comfortable and protect my skin. I have transparent skin. I can get sunburned watching the sun set in a movie. Snow White doesn’t hold a candle to me.

So my outfits used for gardening and projects are intense and ugly. They are always clean. Before I begin each project I leave the house in a clean gardening outfit. I also select a project hat to cover my head and protect my neck from the sun. If I need to dash to the hardware store because my fence is about to fall unless I buy supports I don't change and wear heels and makeup. I jump in the car and run through the store and get my item and head home. While there I see plenty of other disheveled shoppers crouched over and running to avoid eye contact. If I was a celebrity I’d be on the evening “news” in my special outfit. I’m sure the tag would read “Sharon Strawhand Garner was observed at Sam’s Nursery, drunk and disheveled and behaving bizarrely,” with video depicting my hunched over dash to the car.

For many years I’ve observed appearance “issues” in the work place. As the years progressed casual dress began to surface. My first work experience was in San Francisco in the financial district. Though the city was filled with flower children during that era there were those of us who wore sandals and peasant dresses and beads and braids on the weekends but traded it all in on Monday mornings for nylons, heels, and smart little dresses and suits, our hair coiffed and unbraided.

I’ve lived in many cities over the years and most of the offices I worked in were somewhat formal for men as well as women. In most offices way back then (yikes) men wore their jackets all day. They didn’t hang them on the back of their office doors, they kept them on. No tie loosening either. I was happy when the dress code began to relax. I switched from heels to flats or one-inch pumps and toward the very end of my career I wore slacks exclusively with knee-hi stockings rather than nylons. Today many women do not wear nylons at all. I don't like it but I applaud it. (When I grew up we wore gloves when we went shopping in San Francisco. White gloves for children, kid-leather for moms.)

Years ago I wore makeup in whatever style was popular in the magazines. Some eras were ghastly but I still got up way too early and put on my face. I couldn’t eat breakfast because it would take time away from applying my makeup. About fifteen years ago I developed a problem with mascara and though I tried many brands I finally had to give it up. I live in a county known for allergies and I believe it wasn’t the mascara but the tiny particles drifting in the air which then adhered themselves to the mascara. I tried wearing the rest of my eye makeup without the mascara but it looked odd to me. So I gave it up. Next I gave up foundation. I now wear sunblock and lipstick. I have a publicity photo with full makeup including the aforementioned mascara. When I got home from the photo session, which was held outdoors in a beautiful setting, my eyes were almost swollen shut.

What’s truly strange about my transformation to a natural look is that at first I thought I looked ugly. Maybe that’s too strong. Unattractive might be a better choice. Plain might be even better. I’ve come to love plain. In fact, I like that I look “clean” with a fresh face and no greasy makeup. I still wear lipstick because as I mentioned above, I have transparent white skin and without lipstick it is difficult to determine where my mouth is. My family and friends might find that amusing since my mouth is rarely closed.

I took the time to explain all that because over the years through the various changes we were all going through in our appearance it was frequently discussed by coworkers who commented negatively on the changes of women who were changing. “Oh, she looks terrible. She doesn’t wear any makeup at all.” "Oh, she looks terrible. She doesn’t wear nylons.” “Oh, she looks terrible. She never wears a skirt or a dress.” I heard it all and many more (she’s too fat, she’s too thin, she’s too plain, etc.). Again, I ask, why do we care? Often the people commenting on their coworkers were no visions of beauty themselves. We pride ourselves that we live in a free society and we can be individuals and do whatever we want but then we turnaround and criticize those who operate outside of current fashion trends.

I just read my blog from the beginning and I answered my own question. We behave this way because of the media. We are told what is pretty and what is not. We are told what to buy to be pretty and acceptable to the world. Baloney. Let’s not do that. We were born with everything we need to be perfect just as we are. Just put on a smile and walk out the door. You might need a little lipstick if your gene pool is similar to mine.

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.
-West Side Story

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business or entity that knows how to treat customers at least some of the time if not always.

This week I received excellent customer service from:

AT&T wireless

[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author. Blog series began in March 2009.]

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Jury Duty 101

[New blogs posted every weekend. For previous blogs please visit “blog archive” to the lower right of this screen. Click on the small black arrows for a drop down list.]

I’ve received five invitations to be a member of our jury system in two California counties, but many years passed between invitations. There were significant differences in the management of jurors in both locations. I understand the jury system has improved over the years but there’s room for more improvement. The jury pools were made up of an interesting group of folks on all of my visits. The jury pool selection procedure can use an overhaul too. For the most part I enjoyed the experience and was fortunate that all five times I found the system worked reasonably well, but with flaws. The flaws ranged from the issuance of the summons to preparing a verdict. In one instance the phone number to the “jury hot line” was dead. Improvement efforts continue.

The first two times (in another county) I requested postponements because my daughter had a health issue. I remember being concerned I wouldn’t be excused and would have to hire someone to take care of her but the system understood my situation and I was released. She grew out of her condition by around age two but I did not receive another summons for many years.

The last three summonses for duty were in my current county. The first time I was required to call the jury coordinator’s message line for a week to see if they needed me and I was excused without having to visit the courthouse. That concluded my responsibility for quite some time. The second time I was invited down to the courthouse for a few days and finally placed on a jury. When the attorneys began questioning us I was excused almost immediately. Must have been my perfume. The last time I was summoned I was selected and impaneled for a one-week jury trial--that lasted a month. That’s another area needing improvement. Too many unforeseen circumstances are allowed to alter the course of a trial and prolong it long after most of us desperately need to return to our lives.

High profile cases have entered our lives over the years and a growing animosity for juries has developed. For those of us who have never served on a jury it’s understandable to second-guess. All of the evidence in the media pushes at us and makes those of us out here in TV-land decide the case on our own. What we see and hear every day for weeks and months certainly places people in either camp and very few are on the fence. Worse, prospective jurors for the sensational trials are privy to media blitzes about the facts of the case long before selection. It’s a wonder that any jurors can be selected without bias. Attorneys must strive to interview and question jurors in such a way as to find people who truly can listen to the official court case without preconceived notions. Not an easy task and yet it’s how our system works—or doesn’t. In today’s technology changing venues seems a waste of time. On the big public cases if one had a case in San Francisco it would be difficult to change the venue to Paris to find jurors without an opinion. Everyone on the planet knows the details and the players from the beginning and we all form opinions. Where do we go for an untainted jury?

I was a legal secretary for many years with my local municipal government. During that time I worked on many court cases and prepared dozens of sets of jury instructions and proposed verdict forms along with boxes of documents and mountains of exhibits. The jury instructions and verdict forms prepared by opposing sides are then given to the judges and may or may not be accepted as presented and often the instructions and proposed verdicts are drafted and redrafted before the jury gets them. Those two documents are almost more important than all the evidence the jurors hear during the course of a trial. Those documents form the basis of how the jurors will deliberate. They are designed to remove personal opinion and emotion out of the jury verdict process. The rest of us sitting in our living rooms do not receive the jury instructions or verdict forms. A pity. Motions produced at trial change allowed information dramatically.

Judges rule their own courts. Certainly they are required to follow regional and/or district rules and regulations but each judge has a set of his or her own rules that opposing counsel are required to obtain and study. It’s wildly different court to court. A little overhaul in that area wouldn’t hurt either. Though it’s proper for a judge to have authority, there are good and bad judges. There are judges with biases, jurors with bias, and attorneys with biases. It’s a miracle we get anything passed through our courts without riots.

Once a case has concluded the judge delivers the jury instructions and verdict forms to the jury. They must then only consider the direction of those two documents when deliberating. If they heard about something on TV related to the case but never heard a word of it during the trial, they cannot use that information in their deliberations. Some things heard outside of the courtroom in the high profile cases are extremely damaging to one side or the other but if not allowed into evidence the jurors must struggle to keep that information out of their thoughts. Not an easy thing to do which is why we have jury instructions and verdict forms.

When I visited my courthouse on the last two occasions I was called to duty, we were gathered together in a large room filled to the brim with people. For the most part my co-prospects were normal, average, every-day people. There were a few fringe citizens in the group and they were quickly dispatched early on. The last time I served two young men were sent home to change clothes. One came back and the other didn’t. We learned later that deputies were going to visit him at home. The room we stayed in was not very large and every seat was taken. There were vending machines and bathrooms that were remarkably clean. The room went from hot to freezing. It was an old building. No windows. My desk at work was piling high. Stress loomed for many. Babysitters needed notification, spouses needed notification, and work needed notification. But there we sat.

Throughout our time in the room groups were called to follow a deputy to a courtroom for final selection and were never seen or heard from again. In the late afternoon I was called with a large group and we were told to drive to an off-site location, an annex to our crowded original courthouse. Transportation was provided for those who used public transport.

This was my second actual selection. I hoped to be selected because I was eager to see the trial experience from the other side of the fence. By the time we got to the annex it was late in the day. The judge and attorneys met with us briefly and explained the procedure for final selection the next day. The next morning after questioning and dismissing and questioning and dismissing the final twelve and alternates were selected and we began. The building was new but the AC and heating system were awful. We were always too hot or too cold. We had one sleepy juror and court staff tried to find the right temperature but the system did not provide a comfortable setting. She was uncomfortable the entire month. A bailiff was assigned to us and took care of our every need. We were the last jury he would babysit. After our trial he was retiring and going off to the land of fishing and travel after many years devoted to the courts.

Our case was a civil matter and we were a cohesive group from day one. Each of us adhered to the admonishments handed down by the judge to not discuss the case at all during our break times nor with anyone else we knew. Because it was not a high profile case we did not see anything about it in the news. We were all obedient and during our breaks and down time we discussed books, movies, travel, and our personal lives, and all became quite friendly. I thoroughly enjoyed this group and because our one-week trial stretched to a month we became oddly close. We loved our bailiff. The experiences of my family and friends were similar but some of their co-jurors were not so “enlightened” and the juries were not up to the job. Jury selection is an art form.

Finally the case was given to us for deliberation along with the verdict form and the judge read the jury instructions. It was late in the day so we had just enough time to select a foreman and our deputy told us to come back the next day at 9:00. As we gathered our things to leave I noticed a shift of in our group. Though we were still friendly we had all become very quiet and serious. No chitchat about what we were cooking for dinner, no lingering to discuss our new shoes, no laughing, and no casual discussions. We made straight shots to our cars and were gone. We all knew we were now deciding the fate of two people. Plaintiff was suing defendant and it was going to be bad for one of them, but which one? It was medical malpractice.

The next morning we sat in our cold room with our morning beverages of choice and passed around the verdict forms and set up an easel and marker pens. We each had our note pads we had used during the trial. We were all diligent note takers. Our foreman was an organized woman and her first suggestion was that we read the verdict form and try to answer the questions preliminarily to see where we stood and to determine how much deliberation we were going to need. As we read through the form we hit snags in agreement and made notes. The case was complex. After that we spent the day meticulously going over allowed material to use for deciding. We discussed verbiage and some were being very literal about the wording while others thought it was more of a guide.

I’ve heard some juries have been problematic when it comes to the written word. If one is a literal reader or comprehensive reader or someone else just takes it all in generally, real problems can occur. In our group we were able to overcome these differences more easily than I had expected. We all felt that without an understanding of what we needed to consider we could not go forward. I’m so proud of our earnest group. It was difficult for me to keep my mouth shut regarding various legal protocols. My main contribution was to explain the basics of how we needed to operate. I realized I could have swayed the group but I chose not to. Do all jurors operate in a fair manner? Does everyone with any “power” use that power wisely or is it used to strong-arm? I chose gentle guidance.

Finally, we went through the verdict form again, this time with agreed upon guidelines, and suddenly we all realized we were headed to a verdict. We then did a thorough review of the case. By spending time ferreting out what we could consider and what we couldn’t consider the outcome was clearly before us. As it turned out we found for the defendant. The most amazing part of this decision, we learned much later, is that we didn’t like the defendant and we all felt terribly sorry for the plaintiff. The defendant appeared to be smug and arrogant, his attorney had a big city demeanor (for our medium sized town) but the fact of the matter is, that doesn’t matter. The case fell in his favor and that was our decision. His attorney simply developed a better case and we could not decide in plaintiff’s favor based on the jury instructions and the verdict form.

Before contacting our deputy to tell him we had a verdict we sat back and agreed to meet for dinner in the next few days so that we could speak openly about the case and the process. Like I said earlier, we had gotten quite close. When we met we chatted nonstop for over an hour and said things we had all been dying to say but the overwhelming theme of our group was how sorry we were that we couldn’t find in favor of the plaintiff but that we were extremely proud of ourselves for coming up with a proper verdict based on what we were allowed to consider. We never met again.

Since then I have often wondered what the Rodney King jury had to work with when making their decision. How about the O.J. jury? Robert Blake? The list is huge. So many cases have come before the general public and when concluded we are often stunned with the outcome because we didn't have the information the jury did. This past Thursday it was the Mehserle criminal case verdict. I saw the videos, I heard the legal analysts, I watched countless reports, saw hundreds of interviews with the “man on the street,” read news reports for months, and this past week it all came to an end. All that’s left now is the sentencing.

I wasn’t on the jury panel. I know what I saw on TV and read online, but I didn’t have access to the jury instructions and did not read the verdict form they were given. If they were a conscientious group of jurors, then they made a decision based on the choices they were given—even if they didn’t like their choices. It isn’t always pretty and tied up with a bow. I feel for both families. Not only did they suffer from the event but also they had to endure the ordeal in front of the world. More is coming their way with sentencing.

Perhaps one way to ease the public angst in these cases is to give us more genuine information instead of sound bites when the jury is set to deliberate. Maybe if we could hear the jury instructions and read the verdict forms we would know the parameters. We hear so much in these cases but the information we need is not provided and so we are often outraged.

Over the next few days, weeks, and months, the case will be analyzed before the world and perhaps everyone will understand the jury’s verdict. The jury could only follow the order of the court in deliberations. I suspect the jury is feeling pain knowing there were real families awaiting their decision, twelve strangers deciding the fate of two families based on two simple documents. At some point in the process the people fade into the background and it’s all about the documents. That’s how it works.

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business or entity that knows how to treat customers at least some of the time if not always.

This week I received excellent customer service from:

N/A

[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author. Blog series began in March 2009.]

Sunday, July 4, 2010

A waste of time?

[New blogs posted every weekend. For previous blogs please visit “blog archive” to the lower right of this screen. Click on the small black arrows for a drop down list.]

A few weeks ago a friend with a large collection of beautiful jigsaw puzzles asked if I’d like to set one up at my house for a few weeks. I don't remember the last time I worked on a jigsaw puzzle but I suspect it was when my kids were little. I recall setting up puzzles on our dining room table from time to time and we’d all work on them together and sometimes individually as we passed by the table throughout the day. Sometimes I’d see one of the kids placing a few pieces before heading out to school. Often if one person sat down another would join in. I liked that about working a puzzle. It was an ongoing family project. When completed I left it up for a while so that we could admire it for a few days, then I'd put it away. In a few weeks or months I’d pull out a new puzzle.

I accepted my friend’s offer and went to work on a 500-piece scene of a village in Switzerland. Once completed, I left it out for a few days to admire my handiwork just as I did many years ago and it brought back fond memories. It was a pleasurable passage of time. I’d put something on my stereo and pass a little time here and there. After a few weeks I bought a 1000-piece puzzle because I wanted the enjoyment to last longer. As of this writing I’m about one-quarter of the way into it.

I recall the same activity when I was a young and I was glad my kids enjoyed it too. In fact, I’ve always enjoyed many types of puzzles and find them relaxing. In particular I like puzzles that can be left for long periods of time because sometimes things come up preventing my return. I became absolutely hooked on Sudoku a few years ago and found that once I started I couldn’t stop. In the beginning I worked on them for hours then finally I put myself on a Sudoku diet. Now I can only pull out a Sudoku puzzle with a specific time allowance. Once I pass the allotted time for Sudoku I don't touch them again for many weeks. The jigsaw puzzle isn’t like that.

I also like to read, write, garden, walk, work on computer projects, knit, crochet, create craft projects, sew, and many other leisure activities. Recently at lunch with friends we discussed some of the projects we were working on and I mentioned the puzzle I had set up in my dining room. Every one of them groaned. It was, they said, a waste of time.

We then launched into a discussion about leisure activities and the consensus was that reading expands the mind, writing likewise, gardening maintains one’s property, walking is good for our health, computer projects are important for organizing life, knitting, crocheting, crafting, and sewing produce garments or decorative pieces for gifts or the home, and so forth. Puzzles did nothing.

I recall sheepishly agreeing with everyone. I got caught up in the moment. These women are always constructing every part of their lives and there’s little time for frivolity unless it’s carefully factored into their planners. But later at home I passed by the table with all my puzzle pieces neatly arranged into color categories, sitting in tidy rows next to two large plastic plates that I use to piece together segments before joining them to the master puzzle, my tiny spatula used to carefully move joined pieces about because my fingers are too clumsy for delicate placement, my magnifying glass used to detect slight variations in color shades, and I thought to myself-—this just can’t be bad. I put a lot of effort into this activity. Is it a waste of time?

I think I temporarily fell victim to the mindset that every moment of every day must be filled with important content. I was slightly embarrassed that I had gotten caught in mindlessness at lunch. To spend even a minute of time doing something without meaning was wasteful. But when seeing my beautiful puzzle later that day I snapped back to who I really am: someone who loves to fritter away time in pursuit of meaningless and silly activities.

Interestingly, this same group spent a portion of our lunch discussing the latest happenings on American Idle, Dancing with the Stars, and others. It just so happens that I have never watched those shows, never will, along with all the other shows of their ilk, and I’m embarrassed they exist. (That’s a very unpopular opinion. I have a list of TV shows I find vile and will eventually produce a blog on the topic. I actually had to watch them to write about them. It was ugly.)

I was surprised to learn how many hours these women spent watching TV. They all defended their time in front of the screen as their down time, the time they use to unwind after busy days. Yet, these same intelligent task-driven women that watch trash TV felt compelled to inform me that working on a jigsaw puzzle was a waste of time. Really?

So naturally that drove me to my trusty computer and I did a little research on the value of puzzles, word games, and TV. Everyone agrees we can strengthen our brains by exercising them. This is not done when passively staring at a TV screen. If we are studying language through a telecourse, or playing a video game then watching TV is productive and we create new connections in the brain while strengthening old ones. Take a peek at the Internet and there are countless articles on the benefits of working a variety of puzzles for children and the elderly, both groups needing regular stimulation of those dear little brain connectors.

The Journal of the American Medical Association stated that elderly people strengthen their synapses through brain-boosting exercises and show improvement in memory, reasoning skills, and mental processing [paraphrasing]. Here’s a helpful link. (There are many.) You may have to cut and paste.

http://www.ehow.com/facts_5201227_puzzles-good-brain_.html#ixzz0sAQt0aiD

I also read that in 1969 a researcher by the name of Herbert Krugman monitored a person over a period of time and found that in less than one minute of television viewing the person's brainwaves switched from Beta waves--brainwaves associated with active, logical thought--to primarily less productive Alpha waves. When the subject stopped watching television and began reading a magazine, the brainwaves reverted to Beta waves. But all of that isn’t the point, is it? What we do in our leisure time is personal and what works for one person is not necessarily going to work for another. We are not wasting time if we are relaxing because we are—relaxing!

I watched part of the World Cup recently because the USA was playing and I enjoyed it and it turned out to be an exciting game. However, I can’t see myself spending that much time on a regular basis watching TV. Over two hours. I heard today that the average person watches more than two hours of TV per day. It’s a leisure activity that many enjoy even if we are reduced to Alpha waves. We are relaxing.

But I’d rather work a jigsaw puzzle with the Beatles streaming from the Bose and I’ll be building brain connectors while doing so. American Idol vs. a jigsaw puzzle with the Beatles? Maybe a jigsaw puzzle depicting the four lads? Let it be.

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business or entity that knows how to treat customers at least some of the time if not always.

This week I received excellent customer service from:

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[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author. Blog series began in March 2009.]