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A lot of us think long and hard on what our New Year’s resolutions will be. Some are significant, some silly, some life altering. Year after year I was one of those hopeful souls vowing to lose weight, stop smoking, sweep more often, exercise more, and so on, each January 1st. Most of us keep our vows for a short time then it’s right back to where we were. Not losing weight, still smoking, lost the broom, lost our sneakers and, well, we just couldn’t do it.
I tried to find a resolution failure rate online but the figures were all over the place because the issues we are attempting to resolve are all over the place. For example, people who vow to lose weight seem to have the highest drop out rate over those who have less lofty goals, say, exfoliating their skin weekly. The more difficult the resolution the more likely it will fail.
I figured that out all by myself years ago and stopped coming up with New Year’s resolutions. Instead, I switched to Monday resolutions. And it worked. Whenever I have something I’d like to change, like stopping smoking, I start on a Monday. It took 260 Mondays but 35 years ago I finally did stop smoking. Each week I tried and each week I failed. Over and over and over. Then one week I made it to the next Monday and I was amazed. The success gratification came quickly rather than waiting for a year to see if I made it. And then I resolved to do it another week and after a few weeks then months I could finally tell myself I was no longer a smoker. That was huge.
Exercise is another Monday resolution that worked for me. The annual resolution to exercise every day always started well and in fact I did better than my nonsmoking resolution but after a few weeks the rest of my life caught up with me and before I knew it I was no longer doing my daily routine. I didn’t even realize it until I got a call from my gym checking up on me. Years after that embarrassing phone call, and around the time I successfully stopped smoking, I started my Monday resolution related to daily exercise. Many small failures but eventually it became habit and the bad weeks started turning into good weeks and soon I was a smoke-free exercising guru.
There are other resolutions I’ve attempted on Mondays (dieting, sweeping, etc.) and it’s all worked so much better than the New Year’s resolutions. [Note about the sweeping: I have pets.] I think psychologically I know that a week isn’t too much and if I do weaken next Monday is not so far away. I know that I can start over again next Monday when I’m not sick with the flu, or I’m not quite as busy at work, or my roof isn’t leaking. I guess the point is, our lives are messy and full of things we need to do and it’s very difficult to suddenly give up our reason for living (chocolate in large quantities) when we have serious issues elsewhere in our lives. But we can make it to Monday to try again. If we just give up and say “oh, well, I’ll try next year” we will be sicker, messier, fatter, and less likely to permanently quit the behavior we are resolving to quit.
I know someone who vowed to call her father more often as a New Year’s resolution. He was a cranky man (he was born that way) and she left home early to get away from him. However, she called so infrequently that entire phone conversations were about her not calling. Each year she vowed to call her father on a regular basis and each year she only did that for a few weeks. I explained my Monday resolution plan and she decided to give it a try. It worked great because she realized she could call him once a week and endure the call without the expectation of calling more than once a week. So her weekly calls became a habit and she even began calling him every Saturday morning and they had coffee together on the phone. He was still a cranky S.O.B. but they were communicating better than they had in years. (Why didn’t he call her, you ask? Beats me.)
Mom occasionally served broccoli when I was a child and I hated it. She was a wise woman and didn’t serve it as often as she would have liked but each time she did serve it she begged me to at least try it. Since it wasn’t crammed down my throat on a daily basis I always did try a small piece. Today I’m a broccoli fiend and in fact served roasted broccoli with minced garlic and pine nuts topped with shredded Parmesan for Christmas.
Some annual resolutions are easier to keep like donating more to charity the coming year, or volunteering more often, or not going out to eat so much or going to church more. Those are not as difficult as trying to break a physical habit (or lack of a physical habit like trying to exercise more). But for the most part I still think Monday resolutions are more realistic as long as we keep trying. 260 Mondays to quit smoking. Whew!
So no New Year’s resolution for me but Monday I vow to take down my Christmas decorations. But if I don't, there’s always the next Monday. Or the Monday after that.
Happy New Year!
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