Shame, shame shame!

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It was awful. There were hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, tornadoes, tidal waves, and thunder and lightning storms. The manager of the power grid center lost most of the power in the Midwest but he didn’t panic. At home that morning, his teenage daughter was full of angst at breakfast but he explained to his wife he wasn’t able to help much since the entire Midwest was under siege from God knows what. Additionally, the power company was behaving unscrupulously (imagine that). When he arrived at work his staff bombarded him with questions but he spun around the crisis center nailing well planned action responses as he was trained to do. He was interviewed by the national press where he was asked hard questions which he answered expertly and smoothly. He was exhausted and could barely stop to think. And yet, stop he did---to run over to a five-star hotel down the street from the power grid crisis center to roll in the hay with a beautiful federal weather expert sent from DC to help him. She helped him all right. It didn’t sound like fiction to me.

That was from Category 6: Day of Destruction. It was a movie I watched on the SyFy Channel and it was the inspiration for this post. With all the recent storms and damage in the Midwest the SyFy Channel played many disaster films all day. Some of them didn’t seem as bad as what we were watching live on TV.

So the crisis manager had his hands full. Pun intended. Maybe that’s why we have so many problems in the world. Our leaders have to stop working in the middle of a disaster to have a romp. It must be true since it happens all the time at all levels from kings and queens and presidents to sports figures and former governors.

Humans are not as civilized as we like to think. Our animal urges are still going strong. We not only bonk like bunnies but we are aggressive and steal food (i.e. power and money) from competing animals. But mostly, we hump and we don’t care who it is, where it takes place, or whom in our lives we hurt. 

I’m glad I’m not a celebrity. It wouldn’t matter though because I don’t have any skeletons in my closet that could turn up on TMZ or CNN. So if I end up writing a Pulitzer Prize winning novel (little chance there) or getting sued for an inflammatory blog post (more of a chance there) I’ll be safe. Why? Because I respect myself and my family.

Celebrities have more pressure on them to behave. They are held to a different standard than us little folk down here. Celebrities and people who are responsible for children (teachers, priests, coaches, etc.) have a much higher standard to live up to. Keeping their pants zipped and their knees pressed tightly together should be their number one consideration.

It takes two to tango. I saw that on Dancing with the Stars so it must be true. Just because one has the opportunity to behave like a pig doesn’t mean one must. There are so many things we all desire: money, jewels, cars, alcohol, drugs, chocolate (that last one is for me), and so forth. But wanting “stuff” doesn’t mean we can take “stuff” whenever we want. I learned that as a child. Never steal. That goes for sex. We can’t have it just because we want it or just because it’s available or in some sad cases when it isn’t offered but is taken anyway, physically or emotionally. (Coercion by a powerful employer is a form of rape.) And how many unfaithful rats bring home disease to their families? Condoms work to a point but not everyone uses them and sometimes they aren’t used properly.

I’ve heard opinions that celebrities must only be judged by their professional lives and their personal lives are their own business. That was true when we lived in caves. Back then in our early history Gorg didn’t know that Morg in the next cave was bonking Lorg and Dorg so Gorg wasn’t influenced by Morg’s bad behavior. Today it is impossible to flip on the TV, radio, or computer without a headline about someone getting arrested for a DUI, or attacking someone while in a drunken stupor, or cheating on a spouse, beating a significant other, or murdering a significant other. The list is long. We’ve all seen it and all too often. Do kids and teens think it’s cool? The TV ratings say yes because guess who’s watching?

What is the matter with us? With all our professed religiosity we seem to be acting more horribly than ever. Or maybe we just are more aware of it due to outrageous media proliferation of information of that sordid nature. My God, we’ve developed TV shows just to deliver that salacious news TO THE WORLD. We get offended when anyone challenges our Christian nation but our Christian celebrities are behaving abhorrently. Many of them, when caught, then do the “talk” of shame: I’m so sorry, I asked God to forgive me, I will never do that again, I pray to Jesus every night for forgiveness. Don’t send me to jail. (Worked for O.J.) Why is it so many find religion after they’ve done something wrong? Isn’t that putting the cart before the horse? Isn’t that leaving the barn door open? Isn’t that . . . oh, never mind. I have a theory. Many people behave badly and prepare to repent once they are caught. It’s not a deterrent to bad behavior. It’s a strategy to get away with crappola then ask for forgiveness. 

Celebrities should know that the moment they become famous they no longer have private lives. Not fair? Too bad. Let them flop around in their millions for a while and figure that one out. They owe it to society, let alone their families, to behave. Many of these people hop on the charity bandwagon and truly collect millions in the name of some organization then go out and make fools of themselves. It doesn’t work that way. Our citizenry and our children, in particular, need us to be strong and healthy and true to our families.

When Arnold Schwarzenegger was running for governor of California a few women came forward to say he behaved badly and groped a few of them while at work. There was no conclusive evidence (rarely is) so it went away. Maria Shriver Schwarzenegger defended her husband and that was that. He promised to transform California but left it worse than when he found it. Maybe it’s because he was too busy fooling around in a hotel like the guy in Category 6: Day of Destruction. Hopefully he wasn’t fooling around in the Governor’s office. Or was he? That’s been done before as we all know too well.

Don’t be a Morg. And don’t be a mindless participant (like Lorg and Dorg). Call me crazy but it is absolutely possible to go through life without humping everything that moves.

Shame, shame, shame!
by Sylvia Robinson and performed by American disco band Shirley & Company. 1974

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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HAIR!

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Hair. Our glorious mane. Our crowning glory. The maintenance and styling of our hair is a huge industry. Hair products, shops/salons, infomercials, you name it. We are obsessed. And not just women. I’ve known men who spend a great deal of time and energy (and money) on their hair. We love our hair. We need our hair. Some of us can barely function if it doesn’t “work” in the morning. Going to work when having a bad hair day can ruin a career. It certainly can ruin a date.

Almost every day I read something about hair or see a report on TV. People losing their hair discover new restorative treatments, people with premature gray hair learn coloring tips, people with unruly frizzy hair have new products to straighten those strands, people with flat lifeless hair find perms and other “body” additive treatments. You name it. And yet I’ve also noticed an increase in reports on letting hair go back to its natural state rather than bleaching or dying or perming or straightening it based on some reports that the chemicals may be harmful to the scalp, let alone the hair. In particular, there seems to be a movement to let the hair go gray when it wants to. Just last night I watched a report and the newscaster featured a series of photos depicting her own hair going from beautiful black to stunning white/silver over the years.

When I was little I was a towhead. It stayed that way for about ten years when we noticed the color slowly darkening. Then at about age thirteen it was mousy brown/blond. At that point I started combing it with hydrogen peroxide then I sat outside in the sun and it lightened up. I did that for a few years before hitting the color aisle of my local drug store. From that point, at around sixteen, I kept my hair blond until my fifties. I usually kept it light blond but once or twice went platinum. Though I loved that look it was a serious maintenance problem with the mousy brown roots. It also required “stripping” the hair before applying a platinum color/toner.

Hence, my hair was very damaged and thin by my fifties. It was stretchy when wet and when I went to hair dressers they begged me to stop and to let it grow out and told me I should go through a series of conditioning treatments. Shower drains were frightening during that period. Much of the damage was also done when I added perms to my hair color routine. Because I have very straight hair without body I usually have always had either a body perm or a full-blown curly perm. It’s amazing I still have hair.

Finally, I went for a haircut one day and was told that my hair was in the worst condition she had ever seen. I was horrified. She recommended cutting it super short and letting all the chemicals grow out. We did a very short cut (sort of cute) and I let it grow without any chemical treatments for about two years. The amazing part of this is that at I didn’t have a single gray hair. Just the mousy brown I had escaped when I was sixteen. I was happy to not have gray hair but disappointed that the mousy brown was still there. I had hoped to have some change through the years, even gray. In fact, I secretly hoped it would be that beautiful silver/white some are blessed with.

I took a long look at my family and realized most of them colored their hair but not my mom. My mother to this day, at eighty-six, has very little gray hair. In fact, it doesn’t look gray at all though she definitely does have some gray hair. The rest of her hair, brown, blends perfectly with the odd color of gray hairs she has. Her hair looks lightly streaked. So I determined, based on that familial tie, that I wouldn’t have a lot of gray. But after about a year I realized that a benefit of coloring the hair is that the chemicals change the hair shaft and in my case my hair behaved better with the addition of color. The natural look I ended up with without coloring or perms was sort of frizzy even though I have straight hair. With color my hair would flatten out and look smooth.

So since my hair was in great condition, the best it had been in years, I started in with color again. I decided I wouldn’t perm it anymore and experimented with tones and shades and settled on a golden blond and it stayed that way until a few months ago. I decided to let the color grow out again so I had my hair cut very short once more and I’m in about stage three of the grow-out period.

Like my mom, I have almost no gray hair, at sixty-six, but I do have a wide streak developing on the right side of my head that is gray. It’s too soon to tell if it’s going to be pretty or weird. A couple more haircuts and I’ll know. However, the texture of that gray streak is very odd. It doesn’t belong on my head. It’s coarse, curly, and will not cooperate when I try to style it. For that reason alone I may have to begin coloring it again. Some gray hair is breathtaking. I love the white tresses some fortunate people end up with. Some silver streaks are also beautiful. Silver all around is very pretty. Some gray is flat and sort of mousy. I’m positive that’s where I’m headed. The little gray patch developing above my ear looks speckled.

Now I’m not so sure I’ll be able to let my hair go natural. I don’t think my gray is going to be that beautiful silver swash of color. I think it’s going to be mousy brown with a stubborn mousy gray streak that will want to live its own life. I may have to be a blond forever. But I’m going to wait and see.  

“I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty, oily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen, knotted, polka-dotted, twisted, beaded, braided, powdered, flowered, and confettied, bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!”

Hair: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical
Lyrics by James Rado and Gerome Ragni and music by Galt MacDermot.

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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Fascinating Fascinators

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My increasing interest in Kate and William’s wedding was a mystery for me. I had sort of a ho-hum feeling about it. I wanted to see the dress and the highlights but that was all I was interested in---initially. I didn’t understand the excitement about this event especially in the U.S. After all, didn’t we kick the monarchy out of here a while back? And it’s not just the political aspect of a monarchy I find puzzling, though Queen Elizabeth doesn’t have much to do with that anymore, but in our country we don’t believe in class systems; right?

Yet as the big day drew near I started to get a little more interested. I’m not sure why but when the designers interviewed on TV discussed the dress and its possible designer, with photos of previous extravagant weddings, and then discussed the outfits (and hats) that would be worn by the guests, I sort of fell into it. About three days before the wedding I suspended my negativity toward imperial/monarchial entities and just sat back and enjoyed the spectacle. And that’s certainly what it was. It turned out to be a lot of fun.

On the day of the event I had my customary insomnia, my normal sleep routine, and therefore I watched the entire event---live. I fell asleep just as Kate reached the altar which was about 3 a.m. PST. But I didn’t care. I was interested in the arrival of the guests, and in particular her arrival, and once I saw all of that I fell asleep.

The next morning I caught highlights of the actual ceremony but what I absolutely loved was the fun the women at the wedding had with their hats. At first I thought they were silly but then something came over me and I ended up loving how whimsical they were and how artistic they were. I was amazed with the engineering effort it must have taken to attach some of these outlandish creations to the heads of all those women.

Years ago I made funny hats for coworkers when they left for other jobs or retired. I decorated the hats with things they were known for and made them wear the hats at their farewell parties. Many of these creations had little dangling things and giant objects attached to the top. It was a blast making those hats and when I studied the creations at the royal wedding I realized what fun the artists must have had. Many of the women wore plain outfits but adorned their ensembles with outrageous hats. These were women of affluence and influence, many from old aristocratic families. That was not lost on me and I was not able to suspend that part of my vacation from criticism.

As they walked in on the arms of their escorts, whom no one paid attention to in the least (except maybe for Beckham), they actually seemed to strut. No easy task considering the hat balancing act and some wore five-inch heels. It also was not lost on me that they could afford to strut. Their outfits could probably pay a couple of months’ salaries for the typical London citizen, for those lucky enough to even have jobs. I had to struggle with my suspension.

In my part of the world there’s a wonderful performance venue in San Francisco---Beach Blanket Babylon, “the longest running musical revue in theater history.” I’ve attached a link to their website because it’s worth a peek. Through the storyline of Snow White (loosely) they provide hilarious insight into current events via song and dance and wear incredible costumes topped by giant hats. I’ve watched a couple of behind-the-scenes interviews and the hats are truly feats of engineering. Hats are fun.

http://www.beachblanketbabylon.com/when/index.shtml

Sometimes it’s important to suspend our belief systems in order to enjoy a moment of silliness. I believe many people did just that. I watched snippets of the Imperial House of Japan’s royal wedding years ago. The Japanese monarchy is the oldest continuous hereditary monarchy in the world still in existence. One of their princes married and it was stunning though we saw very little of it. What we saw took our breath away. The bride’s traditional Japanese wedding gown was breathtaking. Her carefully choreographed movements were intense, traditional, meaningful, and very very slow. These weddings, and the people in and around them, in no way relate to me or my life yet I find myself enthralled with the pageantry and traditions. They are fairy tales: A prince and his princess and their beautiful wedding.

But for the most part, though I thought Kate and William’s wedding was a beautiful “show,” I mostly will remember the Fascinating Fascinators. The crazier the better as far as I’m concerned.

So now I’m back to wondering why we still have monarchies in the 21^st century. I suspect there are a few in London wondering the same thing.

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

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Hide and Seek

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I love logic puzzles. Each day when I take small breaks from my routine and chores and projects, I rest by listening to music and playing some kind of game. I love Sudoku, Mahjong Solitaire, puzzle books with all sorts of inductive and deductive logic puzzles, and jigsaw puzzles are a particular favorite. Along with this activity, I have been thinking about the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden for all these years. Talk about a puzzle! Right from the beginning I assumed he was hiding in plain sight. Was that logic? Not so much. It was a calculated hunch. This may seem hard to believe, but for some years now I thought he was hiding in a nice home somewhere in Iran or---drumroll---Pakistan.

No, I’m not a CIA operative. But I am a current events buff and I follow cultural/political events as closely as our buffered and filtered news will allow. Years ago when we partnered with him in the conflict against the late Soviet Union over Afghanistan, bin Laden held court in Pakistan and his field of operations took place there. Somewhere between the lines it became apparent to me that he was not hiding in a cave. I’m not alone. Many people with credentials (and not hunches) came to the same conclusions. Many assumed one of our unfriendly countries was keeping him in comfort hidden somewhere that might be difficult for us to reach. Some even thought it could be a friendly country. We wouldn’t dare invade a friendly country and take him; right? He could flaunt his existence and live well forever; right? Wrong.

I’ve been researching satellites because I’m preparing a novel and satellites play an important part in my story. We have satellites circling the planet that can zoom into my back yard and determine what color my fingernail polish is. It is unreasonable to think that various secret agencies haven’t been checking every square inch of the areas where he might have been living. (Doesn’t anyone watch spy movies?) In fact, the news reports indicate that they found his hiding place in August. I’m not a conspiracy theorist but I suspect they’ve known for a lot longer than that. Finding him was one thing. Finding him hiding within an “ally” (and I use that term loosely) nation was another.

Pakistan’s President Zardari was miffed and expressed controlled outrage that we would dare do this without permission. What about our outrage to discover he was even there? Everyone is always critical and outraged about what Americans do. When do we get to be outraged about the abhorrent behavior of our “allies”?

Osama bin Laden lived comfortably while his soldiers did not. His soldiers live in caves and tents. He had money to build a compound and for all we know at this point he had other financial help building the compound. When I bought my little house I was one of the first ones in the neighborhood and was fully aware of construction of the houses here and knew everything about the occupants as they moved in. And I didn’t need a satellite.

As a nation we need to stop pussy footing around that part of the world and play hard ball. We must stop giving money to countries who back-bite us, we have to stop giving money to quasi-military organizations who profess to be our friends (remember: bin Laden was our friend once and we gave him millions [billions?] of dollars to help us in Afghanistan against the Russians, uh, I mean the Soviet Union, which he did from---Pakistan.) How did he repay us? How do any of them ever repay us?

Now that we’ve “got” him, we need to let that part of the world fight their own battles. Lately they are doing a great job but NATO nations are helping tremendously. I checked this morning and noted Pakistan is not designated as a NATO member nation. They have nuclear capability yet they are not NATO members? Jimmy Carter said this morning that because Pakistan has over 100 nuclear weapons we need to be cautious in accusing them of duplicity. They are a powerful world force because of their nuclear capabilities. What about us? Aren’t we a force to be reckoned with? When my dog pees on the carpet she cowers before me. I’m bigger. It’s time other nations stop peeing all over us. It’s time for a little cowering.

Once various countries in that region attain their freedom I’m not certain the democracy they say they desire will happen for them because of so many extreme political and religious ideologies in that part of the world. But our main goal has been, I thought, to get bin Laden. And we did. Now we’re done.

Let’s bring all our soldiers and money home and take care of our economy, our schools, our failing health care system, our homeless population, our mortgage catastrophe, our corporate manipulation of Congress, our deplorable employment tragedy, our energy compromises and disasters and dependence on foreign energy, our horrific crime problems, our bankrupt municipalities, our drug and gang problems, our failing air traffic systems, our less than effective FEMA group, our blind eye to child sex trade slavery (sex trade slavery period), our equally blind eye to child neglect and abuse, our divorce statistics, our foster care system, our foreign policies generally, our ugly foreign trade agreements, our neglect of seniors, our neighbor to the south which keeps its citizens in abject poverty so no wonder they flock to live here, and countless other issues we so desperately need to address now that we finally “got” Osama bin Laden. We engaged in three wars to get him. We got him.

I’ve been told my views on bringing our troops and money home is simplistic. Yep.

www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com

[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author. Blog series began in March 2009.]