[For previous blogs please visit “blog archive” to the lower left of this screen. Click on the small black arrows for a drop down list of earlier blogs.]
Many years ago I went hiking in the northern California redwoods. The trail we selected was designated as a one-day hike in and out. When we arrived at our turnaround destination we were treated to spectacular views of a lake off in the distance and miles of mountains in every direction. This was a popular hike and we shared lunch and conversation with other hikers as they arrived at this turnaround spot.
After taking photos, relaxing, and sharing a great visit with the other hikers, it was time to clean up our lunch area and head back to ensure we would arrive at the parking lot before dark. As we all got ready to head back three hikers decided to hike to the lake. It appeared to them to be just a couple of miles away and they felt they could get there and back to our picnic location with only a short delay before heading back to the trailhead. Several of us told them we thought the distance to the lake was deceptive and that it might take them longer than they thought. That would mean they would be hiking back the last few miles in the dark. They didn’t agree and off they went.
As we started heading back some were worried because the lake part of the trail was not used quite as regularly and usually spending the night was the best plan for hiking the entire trail to the lake. The lake hikers did not have overnight provisions. When we arrived at the parking lot it was just starting to get dark. One of our new friends decided to notify a ranger about the lake hikers. The rest of us got in our cars and left. I never heard anything in the news about the errant hikers so I assumed they either hiked back in the pitch-black darkness of the forest or had to spend the night and await the arrival of daylight. Since it didn’t hit the news I guessed park resources were not pressed into a search mission.
I’ve gone on many hikes but always day hikes. I’ve never hiked into a location with a backpack and spent the night. I’ve never gone on a difficult terrain hike. I like popular trails and spots with ranger stations. On a few occasions I’ve gone on camping vacations and during our stay at a lake or forest we enjoyed day hikes in the area always with a return to our campsite before evening. We did this to be safe but to also not create problems for park personnel. There are experienced hardcore hikers who manage remote treks and keep safe, but even those intrepid explorers sometimes get into trouble and need rescue. That isn’t for me.
My reasons for a more cautious outdoor experience are simple. I respect the outdoors and I do not want to drain park resources when I get lost in the middle of nowhere or fall off a cliff or get eaten by a forest creature. The thought of teams of search dogs, horseback riders, and helicopters looking for me because I went somewhere I shouldn’t is not part of the hiking experience for me. I’m also not eager to run into a bear or mountain lion. If they kill me they would then be tracked down and killed because it’s a huge deal to kill a human. I don't feel it’s necessary for me to go where humans are not usually found just as I don't want a bear in my living room. The carpet-cleaning bill would be large.
Hiking trails are designed to offer the maximum outdoor experience with the least intrusion into pristine locations. Some hikes are strictly monitored with permits issued and lists of instructions for the hikers. Many admonish hikers to stay on the trails at all times. I’ve always been interested in hiking part of the Continental Divide Trail and part of the Appalachian Trail. I’ve watched documentaries on both and some parts of each are easy to manage for most people. I’d want a guide.
Currently we have military and civilian personnel serving and working in a dangerous part of the world. Many people from around the world are there in an effort to help that troubled region with insurmountable problems. Regardless of our personal views on what our policies are in that region I believe we all agree that our soldiers’ lives are at risk every day. They don't sleep well, they spend hours each day wondering if this will be their last day, food is limited when they are out on maneuvers, relationships are tight but also strained, they are physically uncomfortable most of the time, health issues are tremendous, they are not coming home when they were promised, and many civilians who are working in that part of the world suffer similar difficulties. Of the civilians working there many are there strictly for the money but many are there for humanitarian purposes.
A soldier goes where he/she must go. Every day they hike. Every day they are in harm’s way. Sometimes they get stuck in an area where their lives are on the line and sometimes they lose their lives. If they stop at a small shop for tea or coffee in a village that appears friendly they can be ambushed. Sometimes they find themselves in dangerous situations because of a mistaken direction. It is not a game. It is not a vacation. Our people are dying over there just crossing the street at the wrong time. Just driving down a road their vehicle can hit an explosive. Every day they are in tremendous danger. Every night their parents, wives, children, brothers, sisters, and friends don't sleep.
The three young people who were caught hiking in Iran are not spies or terrorists. Iran knows that but this is an opportunity for them to poke us in the eye. What a glorious present these hikers have given to Iran. Anything and everything we can do here at home to keep the Iranian situation under control is our absolute first priority. Iran is just begging for an excuse to rile us up and start a war with them so they can use that as justification to develop their nuclear program and obliterate Israel from the face of the planet even though it would mean blowing up all of the surrounding territory as well. If I were serving in Iraq right now and heard this morning’s news story about the poor health of the hikers I think I’d be angry as I sit in my trench hungry and sick and scared out of my wits.
The lead story this morning was that two of the jailed hikers are not doing well and are developing health issues. I also heard—later in the newscast—that there were a string of explosions in Bagdad with 32 fatalities. This took place on an important holy day. Of the two stories the hikers were the lead story and the time spent on their problems was greater than the report on the fatalities in Bagdad. With all the people in that part of the world who are in constant danger every day they must be very puzzled why three people would be brazen enough to go hiking anywhere near Iran. These young people have caused tremendous harm to themselves (and their families) and to our efforts to negotiate any kind of a peaceful coexistence with not only Iran but also other countries in that region.
I’m sure the book offers are streaming in. When and if returned they will be the darlings of the interview circuit. They will ultimately benefit from this ordeal. There are theories they did this deliberately to see what would happen. A little fame and glory. Of course, many people believe they are truly spies. That would actually be so much better if they were really spies rather than three spoiled expensively educated brats with challenged map-reading skills. Their parents should get a refund from UC Berkeley.
The political situation there is so explosive that any incident that creates an international crisis puts our soldiers in even more jeopardy. The hikers’ lack of respect for the region and issues confronting our soldiers is abhorrent. They have taken the focus off the real concerns in the area and now three young Americans with an overblown sense of entitlement thinking they can just go wherever they want may cause tensions to flare and create even more danger for our soldiers who are stationed very near to Iran. Any incident of this nature can explode into physical trouble with Iran and spread our military resources even thinner. We all want our soldiers to come home, not create reasons for them to stay longer or bring even more soldiers over there. Just one stupid international incident can do that.
If one wants to visit Iran it’s possible, though difficult, to obtain proper papers to do so. Rick Steves, the famous travel guru, did that. Because he’s a travel journalist his papers were probably more easily obtained and he produced a travel video of Iran—with permission. It was a very carefully worded video and I believe he did this in an effort to create harmony between our two countries. I don't think we can have a harmonious relationship with Iran but I think we could possibly live separate lives and leave each other alone. I know archaeologists and historians love the entire Middle East which is rich in artifacts and amazing discoveries surround every exploration, but they go there with permission and never go beyond the restrictions set down for them. However, even if I were personally invited on a private jet to have tea with Ahmadinejad to discuss world events I would decline. I’d probably use the wrong utensil and end up in prison. And besides that, I’m a woman and that never works well in that part of the world.
The three young people are educated and knowledgeable about various cultures and love to travel and study the world. One report said they are considered “seasoned” travelers. In fact, certain parts of that region are becoming popular destinations for hikers and vacationers. But while hikers are frolicking in the hillsides and plains of western Iraq and other quasi “safe” locations enjoying photography and sightseeing--our soldiers are not. Where is the respect for people who are over there struggling and fighting and avoiding being blown up? What can a soldier think when he/she hears hikers were captured in Iran because they mistakenly crossed into Iranian territory on a hiking vacation when just a few miles away people are being blown up every day by roadside IEDs? How many resources are now being spent on retrieving the hikers when our resources are so drained just keeping our soldiers there?
News stories abound about the plight of the hikers, three Berkeley grads with time and money to hike close to a war zone and close to a hostile country. What does a soldier think when he/she hears about these three? The photos of them in their travels and videos show carefree happy young people. What do our soldiers feel? And, if one of my kids did that not only would I be devastated and scared out of my wits, but I’d be very disappointed with their judgment and in fact I’d be angry with their lack of respect for our country and for me.
If three Iranians were discovered at Armstrong Grove here in northern California, and it was determined they were in our country illegally, and they said they were there by mistake, guess where they would be right now? Not in Tehran with their families. I don't know what’s going on with Guantanamo lately but I suspect they’d be spending time there or a similar location without legal representation and without contact with their families. There could even be water-boarding, dogs snarling at them, or naked pictures with guns pointing at their heads.
Iran is scary. We don't want to add Iran to our soldiers’ itinerary. All of us need to be respectful of what is going on in that part of the world and do our best to stay out of there and bring our people home safely. Accidentally hiking in Iran is not the best way to do that. I didn’t go to Berkeley but I know how to read a map.
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.]
Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business that knows how to treat customers.
This week I received excellent customer service from:
N/A
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.]
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Peek-A-Boo! (Part 1/1)
[For previous blogs please visit “blog archive” to the lower left of this screen. Click on the small black arrows for a drop down list of earlier blogs.]
Recently, while heading back to my car after a trip to the Apple Store, I heard an odd noise. Not only was it odd, it was following me. I’m not a fan of walking alone in large parking lots and I was carrying my MacBook so I was cautious and on the alert. I turned around and saw a few people walking to and from their cars and could not pinpoint the origin of the noise. As I got closer to my car the noise got louder and louder and then suddenly right behind me someone said “hello.” I turned, clutching my little laptop hoping to see a friend, and instead saw that it was a total stranger and he had simply answered his cell phone. The origin of the odd noise—a ringtone. He was oblivious to my presence. I hopped in the car (big sigh of relief) and fumbled with the ignition. My first thought was if I had been mugged at least it would be on the surveillance cameras and maybe I’d get my laptop back (as soon as I got out of the hospital).
I don't know why it took him so long to answer his phone but maybe he had decided to ignore it then changed his mind. People do that all the time and the rest of us get to hear a variety of interesting and sometimes bizarre ringtones. My phone is always set to vibrate with no ringer when I’m out and often it’s off entirely. I only use the ringer option when I’m home. For my family members I have fun ringtones depicting their personalities. At least, I think they’re fun but I’m not sure my family members think so. For friends I haven’t selected personalized ringtones. Instead, they all quack like a duck when they call me. It’s handy to personalize ringtones so that if I hear my mother’s I know that I must instantly answer it but depending on what I’m doing I may not answer other callers and I let them go into voicemail.
Before I left the parking lot I glanced around and saw video cameras here and there. When I was inside the mall there were many cameras not only in the common areas but also inside each shop. It is therefore easy for police personnel to obtain the videos and literally explore the entire entrance and exit (and all activity in between) of anyone visiting the mall. Along with that many people use the video option on their cell phones and record all sorts of things. Many of these videos help law enforcement but many also embarrass them. Double edged sword.
When I got home I pulled out my copy of “Nineteen Eighty-Four” (George Orwell, published in 1949) and did a little skimming to refresh my memory. First, he was an outstanding writer. Second, this novel should be read every few years to remind us how far our civil privacies have been lost to us. And they aren’t coming back. We’ve opened Pandora’s box. Lastly, we are now far beyond “Big Brother” watching over us. The entire world is watching over everyone. If we are sunbathing in our yards satellites can zoom down to our navels. If we are inside our homes vans with infrared technology can look right through our walls for body heat signatures resulting in perfect red outlines of our entire bodies. New scans at airports can show our entire bodies--bumps, flab, and genitalia. Mr. Orwell would not be surprised.
The argument that video technology is an important law enforcement tool is faulty because it hasn’t stopped crime. It does assist law enforcement in capturing criminals but not always. It’s not a perfect system and there are all sorts of defense mechanisms to help criminals remove that evidence from trials. Obtaining and studying video coverage is iffy when it finally gets to court. When I walk my dogs in foggy cold weather I often wear a hoodie. I look like a bank robber. People wearing hoodies all look alike regardless of race or gender. Slippery slope.
TV crime shows make surveillance a major part of their story lines. Sometimes with humor. When watching videos trying to determine the path of a fleeing bank robber they often find people scratching themselves in places best left to the imagination, taking part in romantic interludes in cars, eating giant burgers while carrying around a 300-pound waistline, and other embarrassing views into human behavior.
Recently there have been several reports about traffic enforcement cameras and that they have a few glitches that for some reason have not been corrected. Some cameras read the letter “O” when it should be the letter “D” and people are receiving nasty and expensive tickets for places they haven’t been. Though they fight these tickets it sometimes takes weeks and months and during that same period yet another ticket comes their way so that they are literally embroiled in fighting these errors every day. It is unclear why the corrective procedure is so laborious. I know I spend a good part of each year fighting customer service issues and many are technology related.
Yet, I’m conflicted about the use of surveillance. Had I been mugged the other day I would have welcomed a video record. But what about 10 years from now? An example is the smoking restrictions that are creeping into private apartment homes. If one signs a lease as a non-smoker it is potentially possible for some sort of surveillance to determine if they are smoking secretly. Is that a proper use? Private investigators already use a variety of surveillance methods to trap errant spouses—and then put them on TV shows! Is that a proper use? When the methods slip from law enforcement to private indelicacies it’s crossing a dangerous line.
If Anne Frank and her family’s neighborhood had been surveilled by infrared scanning they would have been murdered long before they finally were. They were fugitives from the Nazis but the Nazis were the official government. When our official governments come after us with surveillance of the magnitude we have now and even greater technology in the future, what power will they wield over us? If I eat a brownie before bed will my doctor see me and scold me because of my diabetes? Outrageous? Read Orwell.
Video cameras, surveillance cameras, cell phone cameras, satellite cameras, retail cameras, and government cameras are everywhere. Check out YouTube. You might be there. Peek-A-Boo!
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business that knows how to treat customers.
This week I received excellent customer service from:
The Apple Store, Santa Rosa Plaza, Tech Phil
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.]
Recently, while heading back to my car after a trip to the Apple Store, I heard an odd noise. Not only was it odd, it was following me. I’m not a fan of walking alone in large parking lots and I was carrying my MacBook so I was cautious and on the alert. I turned around and saw a few people walking to and from their cars and could not pinpoint the origin of the noise. As I got closer to my car the noise got louder and louder and then suddenly right behind me someone said “hello.” I turned, clutching my little laptop hoping to see a friend, and instead saw that it was a total stranger and he had simply answered his cell phone. The origin of the odd noise—a ringtone. He was oblivious to my presence. I hopped in the car (big sigh of relief) and fumbled with the ignition. My first thought was if I had been mugged at least it would be on the surveillance cameras and maybe I’d get my laptop back (as soon as I got out of the hospital).
I don't know why it took him so long to answer his phone but maybe he had decided to ignore it then changed his mind. People do that all the time and the rest of us get to hear a variety of interesting and sometimes bizarre ringtones. My phone is always set to vibrate with no ringer when I’m out and often it’s off entirely. I only use the ringer option when I’m home. For my family members I have fun ringtones depicting their personalities. At least, I think they’re fun but I’m not sure my family members think so. For friends I haven’t selected personalized ringtones. Instead, they all quack like a duck when they call me. It’s handy to personalize ringtones so that if I hear my mother’s I know that I must instantly answer it but depending on what I’m doing I may not answer other callers and I let them go into voicemail.
Before I left the parking lot I glanced around and saw video cameras here and there. When I was inside the mall there were many cameras not only in the common areas but also inside each shop. It is therefore easy for police personnel to obtain the videos and literally explore the entire entrance and exit (and all activity in between) of anyone visiting the mall. Along with that many people use the video option on their cell phones and record all sorts of things. Many of these videos help law enforcement but many also embarrass them. Double edged sword.
When I got home I pulled out my copy of “Nineteen Eighty-Four” (George Orwell, published in 1949) and did a little skimming to refresh my memory. First, he was an outstanding writer. Second, this novel should be read every few years to remind us how far our civil privacies have been lost to us. And they aren’t coming back. We’ve opened Pandora’s box. Lastly, we are now far beyond “Big Brother” watching over us. The entire world is watching over everyone. If we are sunbathing in our yards satellites can zoom down to our navels. If we are inside our homes vans with infrared technology can look right through our walls for body heat signatures resulting in perfect red outlines of our entire bodies. New scans at airports can show our entire bodies--bumps, flab, and genitalia. Mr. Orwell would not be surprised.
The argument that video technology is an important law enforcement tool is faulty because it hasn’t stopped crime. It does assist law enforcement in capturing criminals but not always. It’s not a perfect system and there are all sorts of defense mechanisms to help criminals remove that evidence from trials. Obtaining and studying video coverage is iffy when it finally gets to court. When I walk my dogs in foggy cold weather I often wear a hoodie. I look like a bank robber. People wearing hoodies all look alike regardless of race or gender. Slippery slope.
TV crime shows make surveillance a major part of their story lines. Sometimes with humor. When watching videos trying to determine the path of a fleeing bank robber they often find people scratching themselves in places best left to the imagination, taking part in romantic interludes in cars, eating giant burgers while carrying around a 300-pound waistline, and other embarrassing views into human behavior.
Recently there have been several reports about traffic enforcement cameras and that they have a few glitches that for some reason have not been corrected. Some cameras read the letter “O” when it should be the letter “D” and people are receiving nasty and expensive tickets for places they haven’t been. Though they fight these tickets it sometimes takes weeks and months and during that same period yet another ticket comes their way so that they are literally embroiled in fighting these errors every day. It is unclear why the corrective procedure is so laborious. I know I spend a good part of each year fighting customer service issues and many are technology related.
Yet, I’m conflicted about the use of surveillance. Had I been mugged the other day I would have welcomed a video record. But what about 10 years from now? An example is the smoking restrictions that are creeping into private apartment homes. If one signs a lease as a non-smoker it is potentially possible for some sort of surveillance to determine if they are smoking secretly. Is that a proper use? Private investigators already use a variety of surveillance methods to trap errant spouses—and then put them on TV shows! Is that a proper use? When the methods slip from law enforcement to private indelicacies it’s crossing a dangerous line.
If Anne Frank and her family’s neighborhood had been surveilled by infrared scanning they would have been murdered long before they finally were. They were fugitives from the Nazis but the Nazis were the official government. When our official governments come after us with surveillance of the magnitude we have now and even greater technology in the future, what power will they wield over us? If I eat a brownie before bed will my doctor see me and scold me because of my diabetes? Outrageous? Read Orwell.
Video cameras, surveillance cameras, cell phone cameras, satellite cameras, retail cameras, and government cameras are everywhere. Check out YouTube. You might be there. Peek-A-Boo!
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business that knows how to treat customers.
This week I received excellent customer service from:
The Apple Store, Santa Rosa Plaza, Tech Phil
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.]
Monday, April 12, 2010
65--The New 30! (Part 1/1)
[For previous blogs please visit “blog archive” to the lower left of this screen. Click on the small black arrows for a drop down list of earlier blogs.]
I celebrated my 65th birthday this weekend. Only one other birthday matched it in significance. That was my 38th birthday because my dad was 38 when he passed away. When I turned 38 I had two small children and could not imagine leaving them. I knew 38 was too young when he died but not until I hit 38 did I truly realize how young that was. All other birthdays before and after have been simple uneventful events. Until Saturday when I turned 65.
I actually felt the approach of this birthday in January. At that point I started working on Medicare and my health insurance supplement. I did a lot of research to select the right plan, I went to the Medicare site many times to read about options, I visited the Social Security office a few times, met with an advisor at Kaiser Permanente (my supplement choice), I talked to friends 65 and older, and sort of immersed myself in the coming event. Along the way it sank in that how I live my life from this point forward might be the most important lifestyle management I’ll ever experience. That does not mean closing down and hibernating and protecting my senior reserves.
Currently I have friends younger than I am, some exactly my age, and some older than I am. Then I have a variety of ages in my family. After examining all of these people and how they live I have come to understand the secret of aging well: don't get sick or hurt.
Truly, the most important thing about turning 65 is the awareness that now more than ever I have to live well. I have to stay physically active, mentally alert, and maintain a positive bubble that will surround me. I have to live in the world and explore everything new. Along with all the attitude I have to make sure I at least maintain basic medical care and suggested screenings and talk to my doctor about concerns. Things happen to aging bodies and cars. At the first sign of a weird situation with our cars we run to the mechanic. We must do that with our bodies at this age more than ever.
I retired at 62 because I had so much to do. For the past three years every day has been full of projects and I even maintained a small business. For the past three years I traveled around the region I live in and set up craft exhibits at various events. I spent hours every day creating craft items to sell at these events. It took all of my time and many hours each day and then exhibits on weekends. I had planned on continuing with this business for as long as possible but with the economy and the increases in materials and event fees I decided to throw in the towel and move on to other projects. Three years was enough. I have a huge list of other things to do.
On January 1st, along with beginning all the Medicare and insurance research, I started my family photo project. I have over 100 years worth of photos and I’ve put them all on my computer and created photo books and slideshows with music. I’ve worked on this every single day since January 1st and sometimes for many hours a day. I’ve had glitches and disappointments and in fact today I’m visiting Apple to ask why I lost all of my slideshows. At the same time I started other projects on my list and each week I visit my mom who lives an hour away to see if I can help her out with anything she might need. I have a shelving unit here in my office filled with books on various languages and music books for my pathetic attempt at playing the piano. I have two dogs I walk every day and three cats. Five pets are a lot of work but worth it.
When I first wake up in the morning I admit I do move somewhat slowly for about 30 minutes. I have a variety of aches and pains when I first hit the floor and as gravity slowly pulls my spine into position I soon feel the stiffness subside and after coffee my insides are revived. I sit at the computer first thing and read the news and emails and respond to family and friends and that wakes up my brain. By that time I’m off and running. This often starts before dawn.
When I worked I was lucky to be able to live close enough to my office that I could come home for lunch. I would take my little dog for a short walk and have lunch with her while watching the noon news. Sometimes I couldn’t leave the office in time for the noon news and when I flipped on the TV to try to find news the programming had changed to soap operas and re-runs.
One old show that popped up was “Matlock.” Andy Griffith was a “senior” when he made this series and I had not watched it when it ran originally. Since it was on when I was home on my later lunch breaks I started watching it. He portrayed a vibrant curmudgeonly attorney who managed to entangle himself in a variety of scary events. I was approaching retirement when I discovered re-runs of “Matlock” and appreciated his character’s vigor and keen intelligence. It was an epiphany of sorts for me. A prophetic picture of what a senior life could and should be. I don't think anyone wants to end up in a rocking chair on a porch dribbling into a lap blanket. But to avoid that for as long as possible we must fight like hell to keep ourselves going.
When I watched these shows with my dog I never saw the final scenes and never learned how the mysteries concluded. I had to head back to the office. I looked forward to retiring so I could watch an entire episode. The first week I retired I watched an episode each day and then the re-run series ended and another old series took its place. I didn’t like the next series so that was the end of “Matlock.” Then a few weeks later I found the entire series on Netflix and finally watched it from beginning to end. It’s not that it’s the best TV series I’ve ever watched but it was simply about living each day with purpose and ignoring as many of our aches and pains as possible. Pushing through until the stiffness subsides—or even if it doesn’t. One thing about living with discomfort is it proves you are still living.
Over the years I’ve watched fun news reports about seniors dancing in wheelchairs, climbing mountains, running races at 80, and all sorts of fairly extreme activities. I’m not sure I’ll be climbing mountains but I have an interest in tango lessons and learning how to properly ride a horse. They’re on my list.
I’m going to continue to engage in living large. If my body and mind hold together I have lots of plans.
[Note: I usually post my blogs on Sundays but I was too busy celebrating with my family this weekend!]
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Dylan Thomas
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business that knows how to treat customers.
This week I received excellent customer service from:
El Coqui, Puerto Rican restaurant in Santa Rosa.
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.]
I celebrated my 65th birthday this weekend. Only one other birthday matched it in significance. That was my 38th birthday because my dad was 38 when he passed away. When I turned 38 I had two small children and could not imagine leaving them. I knew 38 was too young when he died but not until I hit 38 did I truly realize how young that was. All other birthdays before and after have been simple uneventful events. Until Saturday when I turned 65.
I actually felt the approach of this birthday in January. At that point I started working on Medicare and my health insurance supplement. I did a lot of research to select the right plan, I went to the Medicare site many times to read about options, I visited the Social Security office a few times, met with an advisor at Kaiser Permanente (my supplement choice), I talked to friends 65 and older, and sort of immersed myself in the coming event. Along the way it sank in that how I live my life from this point forward might be the most important lifestyle management I’ll ever experience. That does not mean closing down and hibernating and protecting my senior reserves.
Currently I have friends younger than I am, some exactly my age, and some older than I am. Then I have a variety of ages in my family. After examining all of these people and how they live I have come to understand the secret of aging well: don't get sick or hurt.
Truly, the most important thing about turning 65 is the awareness that now more than ever I have to live well. I have to stay physically active, mentally alert, and maintain a positive bubble that will surround me. I have to live in the world and explore everything new. Along with all the attitude I have to make sure I at least maintain basic medical care and suggested screenings and talk to my doctor about concerns. Things happen to aging bodies and cars. At the first sign of a weird situation with our cars we run to the mechanic. We must do that with our bodies at this age more than ever.
I retired at 62 because I had so much to do. For the past three years every day has been full of projects and I even maintained a small business. For the past three years I traveled around the region I live in and set up craft exhibits at various events. I spent hours every day creating craft items to sell at these events. It took all of my time and many hours each day and then exhibits on weekends. I had planned on continuing with this business for as long as possible but with the economy and the increases in materials and event fees I decided to throw in the towel and move on to other projects. Three years was enough. I have a huge list of other things to do.
On January 1st, along with beginning all the Medicare and insurance research, I started my family photo project. I have over 100 years worth of photos and I’ve put them all on my computer and created photo books and slideshows with music. I’ve worked on this every single day since January 1st and sometimes for many hours a day. I’ve had glitches and disappointments and in fact today I’m visiting Apple to ask why I lost all of my slideshows. At the same time I started other projects on my list and each week I visit my mom who lives an hour away to see if I can help her out with anything she might need. I have a shelving unit here in my office filled with books on various languages and music books for my pathetic attempt at playing the piano. I have two dogs I walk every day and three cats. Five pets are a lot of work but worth it.
When I first wake up in the morning I admit I do move somewhat slowly for about 30 minutes. I have a variety of aches and pains when I first hit the floor and as gravity slowly pulls my spine into position I soon feel the stiffness subside and after coffee my insides are revived. I sit at the computer first thing and read the news and emails and respond to family and friends and that wakes up my brain. By that time I’m off and running. This often starts before dawn.
When I worked I was lucky to be able to live close enough to my office that I could come home for lunch. I would take my little dog for a short walk and have lunch with her while watching the noon news. Sometimes I couldn’t leave the office in time for the noon news and when I flipped on the TV to try to find news the programming had changed to soap operas and re-runs.
One old show that popped up was “Matlock.” Andy Griffith was a “senior” when he made this series and I had not watched it when it ran originally. Since it was on when I was home on my later lunch breaks I started watching it. He portrayed a vibrant curmudgeonly attorney who managed to entangle himself in a variety of scary events. I was approaching retirement when I discovered re-runs of “Matlock” and appreciated his character’s vigor and keen intelligence. It was an epiphany of sorts for me. A prophetic picture of what a senior life could and should be. I don't think anyone wants to end up in a rocking chair on a porch dribbling into a lap blanket. But to avoid that for as long as possible we must fight like hell to keep ourselves going.
When I watched these shows with my dog I never saw the final scenes and never learned how the mysteries concluded. I had to head back to the office. I looked forward to retiring so I could watch an entire episode. The first week I retired I watched an episode each day and then the re-run series ended and another old series took its place. I didn’t like the next series so that was the end of “Matlock.” Then a few weeks later I found the entire series on Netflix and finally watched it from beginning to end. It’s not that it’s the best TV series I’ve ever watched but it was simply about living each day with purpose and ignoring as many of our aches and pains as possible. Pushing through until the stiffness subsides—or even if it doesn’t. One thing about living with discomfort is it proves you are still living.
Over the years I’ve watched fun news reports about seniors dancing in wheelchairs, climbing mountains, running races at 80, and all sorts of fairly extreme activities. I’m not sure I’ll be climbing mountains but I have an interest in tango lessons and learning how to properly ride a horse. They’re on my list.
I’m going to continue to engage in living large. If my body and mind hold together I have lots of plans.
[Note: I usually post my blogs on Sundays but I was too busy celebrating with my family this weekend!]
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Dylan Thomas
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business that knows how to treat customers.
This week I received excellent customer service from:
El Coqui, Puerto Rican restaurant in Santa Rosa.
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.]
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Give Me That Old Time Religion (Part 1/1)
[For previous blogs please visit “blog archive” to the lower left of this screen. Click on the small black arrows for a drop down list.]
It’s tough to be a person of faith these days. Not only are people challenged by the happenings in the world but many are feeling betrayed by their faith delivery systems—their churches.
Though it is not necessary to belong to organized religious institutions to be a believer, many people find it helpful for spiritual guidance, interpretation of their chosen ancient teachings, and the camaraderie of other believers in their faith. Many also belong to churches for friendship, support, and safety from the crazy world outside the doors of their churches. (Even though historically and currently churches have been and still are targets of violence by the outside world and sometimes from their own misguided members.)
I know a number of people who are spiritual and strong believers in their chosen faith but do not belong to a church family. The reasons are many but basically they all agree that it’s possible to maintain a spiritual faith-based lifestyle without belonging to an official group. Many people drift in and out of membership to churches depending on other things going on in their lives. Sometimes they look for a particular church and spend time visiting a variety of religious entities trying to find the right fit for them and their families.
For those physically unable to attend church services TV religious shows offer spiritual guidance but many of these shows are just that—-TV “shows.” They often project a greedy and self-righteous aspect of religion unappealing to many. The point is, it’s all up to us what we choose and how we live our lives with or without a church. In some parts of the world throughout history, some of us were not allowed to attend church or declare a belief system without fear of being dragged from our beds and killed. It’s tough to find the right fit.
Each religion has countless divisions within their basic organized structures. Members of one group often deny the existence of other organizations within the umbrella of their entire denomination. People are moving through religious systems constantly in search of one that meets their needs. The variety and quantity of religious texts is staggering and confusing and some feel a church group can help them decipher the endless contradictions and complexities of the texts. And it’s not easy to move on to another church. In some religions leaving a particular group is a trip to hell. Leave the church, go directly to hell, do not pass go. Some leave their religion entirely and begin learning about new church cultures. Christian to Buddhist, Jew to Christian, and so forth. Those folks are usually welcomed with open arms by their new church families and shunned forever by their former church families. Messing with organized religion is scary business. Sit in a group of people from different religions and engage in religious debate and watch the faces turn red and the slurs start flowing. It’s not pretty.
I was born and raised Catholic and come from a long line of Catholics—Portuguese ancestry. My father was an atheist and yet he allowed my Catholic mother to send me to Catholic school and later Catechism when we moved too far away from the school I had been attending. I went through all of the required classes to become an adult Catholic and have posted photographic evidence of my First Communion to the left of this post. Later I was Confirmed and I have documents issued by the Catholic Church verifying I passed all the classes satisfactorily. Yet, I haven’t been to mass in years and years and years. I liked mass and I liked going to Catechism. It’s the dogma/doctrine I grew to dislike and ultimately distrust. I’m currently church-less.
During the time of my life as a Catholic I never once remembered hearing about an incident of abuse with a child. The church we belonged to was small in comparison to city churches and we were all very aware of one another and if it was going on it was a well-kept secret. That’s the problem. It was going on everywhere at CIA level secret-keeping. I have no idea if any of my little friends were molested. No one has come forward from that church but it could still happen as molested children come forward more frequently because the door has been opened by brave people who came before them. It’s all about shame so it’s taken decades for people to come forward.
I look back on my youth in the Catholic Church with fondness and it pains me to know that there are many children who look back on their childhood with horror, horror provided by the very people parents entrusted their sweet young children to. I remember going off to church activities in cute little dresses my grandmother made for me and thoroughly enjoying my time with my Catholic friends and our nuns and priests. Easter in particular is a wonderful Catholic religious holiday as it is in most Christian churches. Most little girls in Catholic school at one time wanted to be a nun. I did until I met one who liked rapping our knuckles with a ruler for the smallest infractions of behavior. Like many Catholic kids we collected funny nun stories and priest stories and I can recall them now quite clearly. So when I do think of a funny story about a nun sometimes I also think of the “kids” who are grown and not reflecting on funny nuns but remembering being molested by priests. My stories enriched my childhood and carried me forward to the way I live my adult life, but molested children’s memories have ruined all aspects of their childhood and they are living their adult lives locked in traps of those memories.
The Catholic Church does not have a monopoly on molesting children. We’ve all heard the stories about teachers, coaches, scout leaders, neighbors, soldiers, babysitters, camp counselors, daycare centers, parents, neighbors, relatives, bandleaders, boyfriends, stepfathers, doctors, dentists, real fathers, older kids, strangers, and the list goes on. It’s a societal issue and though we have evolved in many ways over our history we still have child molestation, child slavery for the sex trade, child kidnappings and murder for sex, and many other horrific exploitations of children. There are countless organizations including police organizations that spend every day looking for the molesters and abusers of children. It must be daunting work and fraught with nightmares when they encounter people who are hurting children.
When the question arises of why Catholics don't just quit and go to other churches it must be known that in the Catholic Church that’s akin to no religion at all. The major problem with Catholics leaving the church is the loss of receiving the Holy Eucharist (communion) by a priest. Communion occurs in a variety of ways in many other churches but Catholics have an attachment to it that is almost impossible to break because it is connected to the priest who we are taught is a direct ordained link to God. It’s not an easy decision to leave the Catholic Church. Especially after a lifetime.
Instead many Catholics are working hard from within to change the church and to encourage the Vatican to deal with the molesters harshly and announce to the world that child molesters are not going to be part of the Catholic culture. In fact, many not only want the priests to be fired from their positions but to be criminally prosecuted and excommunicated. And why not? People who molest children outside of the Catholic Church are prosecuted and sent to prison. If the Vatican took a hard-line approach to the handling of their molesters they might find many people returning to Catholicism, not leaving in droves. Instead they are putting their membership investment in poor, uneducated and slowly developing cultures as a way to boost parishioners and they are essentially ignoring the agony of their current flock and former flock members. Priests are leaving too. And if a young man contemplates a life of devotion to his faith by becoming a priest it must be a tough decision today. Years ago families were so proud to have one of their young men choose the priesthood. Today I suspect they try to talk them out of it.
Some believe the reason the Pope is not bearing down on priest molesters is because the problem is even larger than we have all been led to believe. Though we are hearing of these cases on a huge scale via today’s media there are still cases we may never hear about for a variety of reasons. Some of the molesters themselves as well as those who have protected the molesters now hold lofty positions within the church. And it isn’t a modern problem. It’s been going on a while. It’s been going on forever in every culture and some cultures have been designed to hide it from civilized society. Religion is all about mystery and ritual and doing things on faith without question.
Like I said earlier, the Catholic Church is swathed in CIA style secrecy. The last few days they have become defensive of the attacks against them. Instead of rallying around the victims and condemning the practice and apologizing (over and over) and vigorously going after the perpetrators they are instead protecting the Pope and complaining about the world attacking him. One even said it was inappropriate to attack the Catholic Church on this particular special Easter weekend. I say what better weekend to protect the souls of the mistreated and abused than Easter, a day that binds all Christians like no other day.
The Pope could be the hero of Catholics and the faithful everywhere by cleaning his house thoroughly and purging the evil men from within. Not only would he be a hero to his faith but also he would shake the foundations of all other entities that allow molesters to live among them. If the Pope went after these criminals he would help children throughout the entire world, Catholic or not. He would send a message that no one will ever be safe from prosecution if they harm a child. An act of bravery of that magnitude would perhaps provide the push we have needed for centuries. It’s abhorrent to abuse children and we need a leader to help us get rid of the abusers.
There once was a leader who did save his people and in the end he died for them. We need another one just like him to protect our children. Who will it be?
Happy Easter.
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business that knows how to treat customers:
This week I received excellent customer service from:
Kaiser Permanente, Santa Rosa
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.)
It’s tough to be a person of faith these days. Not only are people challenged by the happenings in the world but many are feeling betrayed by their faith delivery systems—their churches.
Though it is not necessary to belong to organized religious institutions to be a believer, many people find it helpful for spiritual guidance, interpretation of their chosen ancient teachings, and the camaraderie of other believers in their faith. Many also belong to churches for friendship, support, and safety from the crazy world outside the doors of their churches. (Even though historically and currently churches have been and still are targets of violence by the outside world and sometimes from their own misguided members.)
I know a number of people who are spiritual and strong believers in their chosen faith but do not belong to a church family. The reasons are many but basically they all agree that it’s possible to maintain a spiritual faith-based lifestyle without belonging to an official group. Many people drift in and out of membership to churches depending on other things going on in their lives. Sometimes they look for a particular church and spend time visiting a variety of religious entities trying to find the right fit for them and their families.
For those physically unable to attend church services TV religious shows offer spiritual guidance but many of these shows are just that—-TV “shows.” They often project a greedy and self-righteous aspect of religion unappealing to many. The point is, it’s all up to us what we choose and how we live our lives with or without a church. In some parts of the world throughout history, some of us were not allowed to attend church or declare a belief system without fear of being dragged from our beds and killed. It’s tough to find the right fit.
Each religion has countless divisions within their basic organized structures. Members of one group often deny the existence of other organizations within the umbrella of their entire denomination. People are moving through religious systems constantly in search of one that meets their needs. The variety and quantity of religious texts is staggering and confusing and some feel a church group can help them decipher the endless contradictions and complexities of the texts. And it’s not easy to move on to another church. In some religions leaving a particular group is a trip to hell. Leave the church, go directly to hell, do not pass go. Some leave their religion entirely and begin learning about new church cultures. Christian to Buddhist, Jew to Christian, and so forth. Those folks are usually welcomed with open arms by their new church families and shunned forever by their former church families. Messing with organized religion is scary business. Sit in a group of people from different religions and engage in religious debate and watch the faces turn red and the slurs start flowing. It’s not pretty.
I was born and raised Catholic and come from a long line of Catholics—Portuguese ancestry. My father was an atheist and yet he allowed my Catholic mother to send me to Catholic school and later Catechism when we moved too far away from the school I had been attending. I went through all of the required classes to become an adult Catholic and have posted photographic evidence of my First Communion to the left of this post. Later I was Confirmed and I have documents issued by the Catholic Church verifying I passed all the classes satisfactorily. Yet, I haven’t been to mass in years and years and years. I liked mass and I liked going to Catechism. It’s the dogma/doctrine I grew to dislike and ultimately distrust. I’m currently church-less.
During the time of my life as a Catholic I never once remembered hearing about an incident of abuse with a child. The church we belonged to was small in comparison to city churches and we were all very aware of one another and if it was going on it was a well-kept secret. That’s the problem. It was going on everywhere at CIA level secret-keeping. I have no idea if any of my little friends were molested. No one has come forward from that church but it could still happen as molested children come forward more frequently because the door has been opened by brave people who came before them. It’s all about shame so it’s taken decades for people to come forward.
I look back on my youth in the Catholic Church with fondness and it pains me to know that there are many children who look back on their childhood with horror, horror provided by the very people parents entrusted their sweet young children to. I remember going off to church activities in cute little dresses my grandmother made for me and thoroughly enjoying my time with my Catholic friends and our nuns and priests. Easter in particular is a wonderful Catholic religious holiday as it is in most Christian churches. Most little girls in Catholic school at one time wanted to be a nun. I did until I met one who liked rapping our knuckles with a ruler for the smallest infractions of behavior. Like many Catholic kids we collected funny nun stories and priest stories and I can recall them now quite clearly. So when I do think of a funny story about a nun sometimes I also think of the “kids” who are grown and not reflecting on funny nuns but remembering being molested by priests. My stories enriched my childhood and carried me forward to the way I live my adult life, but molested children’s memories have ruined all aspects of their childhood and they are living their adult lives locked in traps of those memories.
The Catholic Church does not have a monopoly on molesting children. We’ve all heard the stories about teachers, coaches, scout leaders, neighbors, soldiers, babysitters, camp counselors, daycare centers, parents, neighbors, relatives, bandleaders, boyfriends, stepfathers, doctors, dentists, real fathers, older kids, strangers, and the list goes on. It’s a societal issue and though we have evolved in many ways over our history we still have child molestation, child slavery for the sex trade, child kidnappings and murder for sex, and many other horrific exploitations of children. There are countless organizations including police organizations that spend every day looking for the molesters and abusers of children. It must be daunting work and fraught with nightmares when they encounter people who are hurting children.
When the question arises of why Catholics don't just quit and go to other churches it must be known that in the Catholic Church that’s akin to no religion at all. The major problem with Catholics leaving the church is the loss of receiving the Holy Eucharist (communion) by a priest. Communion occurs in a variety of ways in many other churches but Catholics have an attachment to it that is almost impossible to break because it is connected to the priest who we are taught is a direct ordained link to God. It’s not an easy decision to leave the Catholic Church. Especially after a lifetime.
Instead many Catholics are working hard from within to change the church and to encourage the Vatican to deal with the molesters harshly and announce to the world that child molesters are not going to be part of the Catholic culture. In fact, many not only want the priests to be fired from their positions but to be criminally prosecuted and excommunicated. And why not? People who molest children outside of the Catholic Church are prosecuted and sent to prison. If the Vatican took a hard-line approach to the handling of their molesters they might find many people returning to Catholicism, not leaving in droves. Instead they are putting their membership investment in poor, uneducated and slowly developing cultures as a way to boost parishioners and they are essentially ignoring the agony of their current flock and former flock members. Priests are leaving too. And if a young man contemplates a life of devotion to his faith by becoming a priest it must be a tough decision today. Years ago families were so proud to have one of their young men choose the priesthood. Today I suspect they try to talk them out of it.
Some believe the reason the Pope is not bearing down on priest molesters is because the problem is even larger than we have all been led to believe. Though we are hearing of these cases on a huge scale via today’s media there are still cases we may never hear about for a variety of reasons. Some of the molesters themselves as well as those who have protected the molesters now hold lofty positions within the church. And it isn’t a modern problem. It’s been going on a while. It’s been going on forever in every culture and some cultures have been designed to hide it from civilized society. Religion is all about mystery and ritual and doing things on faith without question.
Like I said earlier, the Catholic Church is swathed in CIA style secrecy. The last few days they have become defensive of the attacks against them. Instead of rallying around the victims and condemning the practice and apologizing (over and over) and vigorously going after the perpetrators they are instead protecting the Pope and complaining about the world attacking him. One even said it was inappropriate to attack the Catholic Church on this particular special Easter weekend. I say what better weekend to protect the souls of the mistreated and abused than Easter, a day that binds all Christians like no other day.
The Pope could be the hero of Catholics and the faithful everywhere by cleaning his house thoroughly and purging the evil men from within. Not only would he be a hero to his faith but also he would shake the foundations of all other entities that allow molesters to live among them. If the Pope went after these criminals he would help children throughout the entire world, Catholic or not. He would send a message that no one will ever be safe from prosecution if they harm a child. An act of bravery of that magnitude would perhaps provide the push we have needed for centuries. It’s abhorrent to abuse children and we need a leader to help us get rid of the abusers.
There once was a leader who did save his people and in the end he died for them. We need another one just like him to protect our children. Who will it be?
Happy Easter.
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business that knows how to treat customers:
This week I received excellent customer service from:
Kaiser Permanente, Santa Rosa
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Temporary Friends (Part 1/1)
[For previous blogs please visit “blog archive” to the lower left of this screen. Click on the small black arrows for a drop down list of earlier blogs.]
As we go about our day-to-day lives we encounter many people. We stand in line with them when we’re out shopping, sit next to them in doctors' offices while we wait, have our hair done and visit not only with our stylists but also other patrons, we grumble to each other at the gas pump, and unless we are shy we have these pleasant exchanges fairly often. I know we have a few nasty encounters here and there as well but this blog is about the nice encounters.
Recently I visited my local Social Security office a few times with questions about my upcoming enrollment in Medicare. They open at 9:00 and there’s usually a line. Once inside we must go through a short security check and we are then asked whether or not we have an appointment. I have not had an appointment these past few visits because a few odd things popped up that I wanted to tend to immediately so I decided to visit without an appointment. Each visit was handled with efficiency and I left in a happy mood. During this time I also visited DMV. Visiting Social Security and the DMV in the same week made my knees tremble but both visits (multiple with S.S.) were uneventful and helpful. I do have another visit to go with DMV and I haven’t started trembling yet.
While waiting for my turn at S.S. the other day I struck up a conversation with a woman sitting next to me. We were both reading and it turned out we liked the same books and movies. How incredible it seems to me that the chance meeting of two complete strangers could turn into a fun experience. She was there without an appointment also and amazingly neither of us discussed our reasons for being there but rather launched into our interest in books and movies. Though we each brought a book with us neither of us read our books because of our impromptu visit.
We sat there for about 40 minutes and learned a few personal things about our lives (husbands, children, jobs, retirement circumstances, area of town where we lived) in addition to our reading and movie preferences. We laughed at a few things, and we both complained about a few things of a political nature we had been viewing in the news recently.
Finally, her number was called and she went to one of the windows. A few minutes later I was called. When my turn was over I left the building and drove home. It is unlikely I’ll ever see her again.
I’ve had this experience countless times in life where I’ve had a chance encounter with a stranger that was pleasant and life affirming. This is particularly true of one-day seminars, colonoscopies (yes, I struck up a great conversation with another patient waiting for the same procedure and it was hilarious), dental appointments, the vet, and the list goes on. In fact, visits to the vet are my favorite stranger encounters because we are all instantly bonded to one another over the love and care of our pets. Sometimes I’ve had to wait for quite some time with other nervous pet owners and the camaraderie is intense. Especially when meeting someone who is there for more than a routine visit.
I remember a visit not long ago where another woman and her husband and I spent a very long time (busy day for the vet) discussing almost every pet we ever owned. By the time it was their turn for their appointment I felt a little tug. I didn’t want this meeting to end but I knew it would and it did and I often wonder how their dog was after his visit. Or maybe I don't want to know. My visit was for a routine nail clipping and the couple thought it was quite funny that my dog was sleeping on my lap when their dog was having a nervous break down. That’s because the only way my dog can visit the vet is if she is drugged.
I was on a three-week jury trial a few years ago with a group of bright, thoughtful, sincere people. We bonded almost immediately. Before we were selected, I watched the attorneys examine the prospective jurors and noticed they were interested in a certain type of person. As people were excused and the list got smaller and smaller I became more and more eager to participate with this bunch. Finally, I made the cut and to this day I am so happy to have had this brief encounter with such a nice group. In fact, when the trial concluded we met one time for dinner to freely discuss the case without the structures set forth for us by the judge and it was fantastic. I was so happy to have had a final meeting and though many of these people could have become personal friends I knew we wouldn’t.
I’m not sure what it takes to develop a permanent friendship but some relationships are simply meant to be temporary. I suppose we could take it upon ourselves to propose additional meetings, coffees, lunches and eventually a friendship would develop but I’m not sure that’s the way to develop a friendship. Perhaps if we run into the same patient at the doctor’s office over and over we may eventually branch out but chance encounters of a pleasant nature are just that—chance encounters, not meant to last but meant to enjoy nonetheless.
Friendships often do develop when more time is spent getting to know the other person. I’ve made friends taking night classes, friends at work, neighbors have become friends, and sometimes friends introduce their friends who then become my friends too. Those friendships develop over time, not necessarily a long period but usually with more frequent visits so that the friendship simply develops and usually pushing for coffee or lunch isn’t necessary. It happens or it doesn’t.
But I love the brief encounters with friendly people waiting in line the most. Sometimes several people in a long line will strike up a conversation (like waiting for a movie or a concert) and everyone enjoys the wait and learns interesting things from each other. I recall a great discussion while standing in a “Star Wars” line many years ago. Many of the people had already seen the movie several times but I was a first-timer and they all gathered around me and my kids (tiny kids) and started jabbing me and telling me this and that was going to knock me off my feet and by the time we got inside I was so excited I almost burst.
Years ago I took my kids to see Olivia Newton John at an outdoor pavilion near the San Diego Animal Park. The line of people was fantastic. It was a warm southern California evening and as we all visited and laughed someone shouted “LOOK” and off in the distance we saw a small herd of antelope—--in the parking lot! They had escaped from their enclosure and were off and running. After that everyone was laughing and talking and then we started streaming into the concert and the good will and friendliness continued all night long.
Another time I took the kids to see “Wings” in Berkeley. Another fantastic evening of visiting with total strangers who were complete Beatles fanatics (like me) and after the concert we all walked to our cars singing Beatles songs. From the moment that we got there until we returned to our car we visited with happy strangers and learned so many things about so many people, people we’ve never seen again but that I remember with great fondness.
There have been great temporary friendships waiting in lines at Disneyland with entire families. Sometimes after the ride we waited for was over we would drift off to other rides with the same family then eventually we would all go our separate ways but run into each other from time to time throughout the day.
Over the last few years I have run into the same dog walkers every day when I take my dogs out for their walk. We exchange friendly hellos and/or growls and barks (depending on the dogs) and sometimes chat about happenings in the neighborhood. I worry if I don't see one of the regulars for a while then am so relieved when they appear for their walks again.
I hope making temporary friends is enjoyed by many of you reading today's blog. It’s rewarding and connecting and also helps pass the time while waiting, especially when visiting a government entity!
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just an entity or an individual that knows how to treat customers:
This week I received excellent customer service from:
Social Security Administration-Santa Rosa Office
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.]
As we go about our day-to-day lives we encounter many people. We stand in line with them when we’re out shopping, sit next to them in doctors' offices while we wait, have our hair done and visit not only with our stylists but also other patrons, we grumble to each other at the gas pump, and unless we are shy we have these pleasant exchanges fairly often. I know we have a few nasty encounters here and there as well but this blog is about the nice encounters.
Recently I visited my local Social Security office a few times with questions about my upcoming enrollment in Medicare. They open at 9:00 and there’s usually a line. Once inside we must go through a short security check and we are then asked whether or not we have an appointment. I have not had an appointment these past few visits because a few odd things popped up that I wanted to tend to immediately so I decided to visit without an appointment. Each visit was handled with efficiency and I left in a happy mood. During this time I also visited DMV. Visiting Social Security and the DMV in the same week made my knees tremble but both visits (multiple with S.S.) were uneventful and helpful. I do have another visit to go with DMV and I haven’t started trembling yet.
While waiting for my turn at S.S. the other day I struck up a conversation with a woman sitting next to me. We were both reading and it turned out we liked the same books and movies. How incredible it seems to me that the chance meeting of two complete strangers could turn into a fun experience. She was there without an appointment also and amazingly neither of us discussed our reasons for being there but rather launched into our interest in books and movies. Though we each brought a book with us neither of us read our books because of our impromptu visit.
We sat there for about 40 minutes and learned a few personal things about our lives (husbands, children, jobs, retirement circumstances, area of town where we lived) in addition to our reading and movie preferences. We laughed at a few things, and we both complained about a few things of a political nature we had been viewing in the news recently.
Finally, her number was called and she went to one of the windows. A few minutes later I was called. When my turn was over I left the building and drove home. It is unlikely I’ll ever see her again.
I’ve had this experience countless times in life where I’ve had a chance encounter with a stranger that was pleasant and life affirming. This is particularly true of one-day seminars, colonoscopies (yes, I struck up a great conversation with another patient waiting for the same procedure and it was hilarious), dental appointments, the vet, and the list goes on. In fact, visits to the vet are my favorite stranger encounters because we are all instantly bonded to one another over the love and care of our pets. Sometimes I’ve had to wait for quite some time with other nervous pet owners and the camaraderie is intense. Especially when meeting someone who is there for more than a routine visit.
I remember a visit not long ago where another woman and her husband and I spent a very long time (busy day for the vet) discussing almost every pet we ever owned. By the time it was their turn for their appointment I felt a little tug. I didn’t want this meeting to end but I knew it would and it did and I often wonder how their dog was after his visit. Or maybe I don't want to know. My visit was for a routine nail clipping and the couple thought it was quite funny that my dog was sleeping on my lap when their dog was having a nervous break down. That’s because the only way my dog can visit the vet is if she is drugged.
I was on a three-week jury trial a few years ago with a group of bright, thoughtful, sincere people. We bonded almost immediately. Before we were selected, I watched the attorneys examine the prospective jurors and noticed they were interested in a certain type of person. As people were excused and the list got smaller and smaller I became more and more eager to participate with this bunch. Finally, I made the cut and to this day I am so happy to have had this brief encounter with such a nice group. In fact, when the trial concluded we met one time for dinner to freely discuss the case without the structures set forth for us by the judge and it was fantastic. I was so happy to have had a final meeting and though many of these people could have become personal friends I knew we wouldn’t.
I’m not sure what it takes to develop a permanent friendship but some relationships are simply meant to be temporary. I suppose we could take it upon ourselves to propose additional meetings, coffees, lunches and eventually a friendship would develop but I’m not sure that’s the way to develop a friendship. Perhaps if we run into the same patient at the doctor’s office over and over we may eventually branch out but chance encounters of a pleasant nature are just that—chance encounters, not meant to last but meant to enjoy nonetheless.
Friendships often do develop when more time is spent getting to know the other person. I’ve made friends taking night classes, friends at work, neighbors have become friends, and sometimes friends introduce their friends who then become my friends too. Those friendships develop over time, not necessarily a long period but usually with more frequent visits so that the friendship simply develops and usually pushing for coffee or lunch isn’t necessary. It happens or it doesn’t.
But I love the brief encounters with friendly people waiting in line the most. Sometimes several people in a long line will strike up a conversation (like waiting for a movie or a concert) and everyone enjoys the wait and learns interesting things from each other. I recall a great discussion while standing in a “Star Wars” line many years ago. Many of the people had already seen the movie several times but I was a first-timer and they all gathered around me and my kids (tiny kids) and started jabbing me and telling me this and that was going to knock me off my feet and by the time we got inside I was so excited I almost burst.
Years ago I took my kids to see Olivia Newton John at an outdoor pavilion near the San Diego Animal Park. The line of people was fantastic. It was a warm southern California evening and as we all visited and laughed someone shouted “LOOK” and off in the distance we saw a small herd of antelope—--in the parking lot! They had escaped from their enclosure and were off and running. After that everyone was laughing and talking and then we started streaming into the concert and the good will and friendliness continued all night long.
Another time I took the kids to see “Wings” in Berkeley. Another fantastic evening of visiting with total strangers who were complete Beatles fanatics (like me) and after the concert we all walked to our cars singing Beatles songs. From the moment that we got there until we returned to our car we visited with happy strangers and learned so many things about so many people, people we’ve never seen again but that I remember with great fondness.
There have been great temporary friendships waiting in lines at Disneyland with entire families. Sometimes after the ride we waited for was over we would drift off to other rides with the same family then eventually we would all go our separate ways but run into each other from time to time throughout the day.
Over the last few years I have run into the same dog walkers every day when I take my dogs out for their walk. We exchange friendly hellos and/or growls and barks (depending on the dogs) and sometimes chat about happenings in the neighborhood. I worry if I don't see one of the regulars for a while then am so relieved when they appear for their walks again.
I hope making temporary friends is enjoyed by many of you reading today's blog. It’s rewarding and connecting and also helps pass the time while waiting, especially when visiting a government entity!
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just an entity or an individual that knows how to treat customers:
This week I received excellent customer service from:
Social Security Administration-Santa Rosa Office
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.]
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Mani-Pedi (Part 2/2)
[For previous blogs please visit “blog archive” to the lower left of this screen. Click on the small black arrows for a drop down list of all the blogs.]
(While you’re reading this push your cuticles back.)
Last week I posted a few suggestions for conditioning damaged, ugly, disgusting, malnourished, pitiful hands and nails. This week is the segment everyone has been waiting for: The Mani-Pedi. 7 steps.
My routine begins on a Friday night. Pick your own day.
1. Friday night: Push the cuticles back, remove all polish and scrub nail with a nailbrush. Let them “breathe” overnight. Just put on a little lotion before going to bed. Takes about 5 minutes.
2. Saturday morning: Push the cuticles back, put lotion on the cuticles and massage. Takes about 2 minutes.
3. Saturday evening: Push the cuticles back, brush on one thin coat of clear polish, dry nails in front of the small space heater (suggested last week) or professional nail dryer. Takes about 10 minutes. Nice nails for Saturday night!
4. Sunday morning: Push the cuticles back, brush on one thin coat of color or if you don’t like color one more thin coat of clear, dry nails in front of the little heater. Takes about 5 minutes.
5. Monday evening: Push the cuticles back, check the nails for damage done during the work-day, file and clip as necessary, brush on one thin coat of color. If polish chips or (gads) there’s a broken nail, file the nail first and make sure all the other nails are the same length to match the broken/repaired nail. If there’s a polish chip in the nail polish dip a Q-tip in polish remover and lightly dab on the damaged area, dry it thoroughly in front of the little heater, then brush on ONE thin coat of polish and dry in front of the heater again. Note: if the nails are not tortured during the day, just push the cuticles back and put a thin coat of polish on if necessary. Takes about 5 minutes but longer if damage repair is required. Maybe 10 in that case.
6. Tuesday through Thursday evening: Repeat step 5.
7. Friday evening: start over!
That is all there is to it. Just a tiny bit of time each night (or whatever time works for you) is all that’s needed as long as the routine keeps going. Try not to let the nails and hands fall into hard times again because starting over is, well, starting over. If it’s been a hard day at the office and there’s a broken nail, don’t stress. Just cut the thing and be done with it and make sure all the others are trimmed to match. Sometimes when I wore longer nails I’d almost cry when I broke one. I see that as neurotic now. If nails are healthy and the cuticles are in good shape, the nails will grow out very quickly. It’s possible to go from short to long in just slightly over a month.
Even if longer nails aren’t desired, try keeping the nails in good shape and always put a coat of clear polish on them. It does protect the nail and for those who like longer nails, keeping polish on them does help prevent breaks. It depends on how hard we are on our hands during the day. That’s why I use gloves whenever possible.
The quality of nail products available goes from the ridiculous to the sublime. I buy medium ranged nail products. Cheaper tools break or don’t last. Nail polish can get gummy if not used frequently, especially the cheaper brands. I have many bottles of polish and I often have to toss them. It’s possible to put a drop or two of nail polish remover in them when they get gummy but it doesn’t always work the way I want it to. There is a special product made specifically for that purpose which I’ve never used.
Revlon manufactures my current favorite polish. They make a line called ColorStay. It’s a clear protective coating brushed over the polish and is sold as a set. The one-week routine above can be extended to two weeks if we are careful with how we handle our hands and use this line of polish. I have been able to keep a manicure going for as long as three weeks with touch ups.
One of the most frustrating aspects of pretty nails is the smudge. We spend time painting the nails then pick up a brownie too soon and bam (sorry Emeril) it’s smudged. That’s because it takes a bit of effort to dry the nails so don’t fudge (pun intended) on this step. Either a small space heater or a professional dryer is absolutely essential to keeping the manicure less frustrating each day. Some people say they don’t have all night to polish their nails. Not necessary. Spend a few bucks and get the little space heater. I place mine on a small stepping stool then I place my toes on the edge and dangle my hands in front and I’m done in about five minutes.
My last “trick” is a fun one and it works great. If I am a little sloppy with the polish I let it go. In fact, I’m usually very sloppy when it comes to the toes. I just let it dry. When the polish is thoroughly dry I slip on my socks and gloves with petroleum jelly or lotion before bed and the next morning the excess dried polish comes right off with a few swipes of the nailbrush. For stubborn spots just scratch it off with an emery board! And resist the urge to put too many coats on per session. One thin coat is best per day.
For pretty hands, feet, and nails, I spend just a few minutes each day before bed--instead of eating a bowl of ice cream. You can too.
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business that knows how to treat customers. This week I received excellent customer service from:
www.MemoryMixers.com
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.]
(While you’re reading this push your cuticles back.)
Last week I posted a few suggestions for conditioning damaged, ugly, disgusting, malnourished, pitiful hands and nails. This week is the segment everyone has been waiting for: The Mani-Pedi. 7 steps.
My routine begins on a Friday night. Pick your own day.
1. Friday night: Push the cuticles back, remove all polish and scrub nail with a nailbrush. Let them “breathe” overnight. Just put on a little lotion before going to bed. Takes about 5 minutes.
2. Saturday morning: Push the cuticles back, put lotion on the cuticles and massage. Takes about 2 minutes.
3. Saturday evening: Push the cuticles back, brush on one thin coat of clear polish, dry nails in front of the small space heater (suggested last week) or professional nail dryer. Takes about 10 minutes. Nice nails for Saturday night!
4. Sunday morning: Push the cuticles back, brush on one thin coat of color or if you don’t like color one more thin coat of clear, dry nails in front of the little heater. Takes about 5 minutes.
5. Monday evening: Push the cuticles back, check the nails for damage done during the work-day, file and clip as necessary, brush on one thin coat of color. If polish chips or (gads) there’s a broken nail, file the nail first and make sure all the other nails are the same length to match the broken/repaired nail. If there’s a polish chip in the nail polish dip a Q-tip in polish remover and lightly dab on the damaged area, dry it thoroughly in front of the little heater, then brush on ONE thin coat of polish and dry in front of the heater again. Note: if the nails are not tortured during the day, just push the cuticles back and put a thin coat of polish on if necessary. Takes about 5 minutes but longer if damage repair is required. Maybe 10 in that case.
6. Tuesday through Thursday evening: Repeat step 5.
7. Friday evening: start over!
That is all there is to it. Just a tiny bit of time each night (or whatever time works for you) is all that’s needed as long as the routine keeps going. Try not to let the nails and hands fall into hard times again because starting over is, well, starting over. If it’s been a hard day at the office and there’s a broken nail, don’t stress. Just cut the thing and be done with it and make sure all the others are trimmed to match. Sometimes when I wore longer nails I’d almost cry when I broke one. I see that as neurotic now. If nails are healthy and the cuticles are in good shape, the nails will grow out very quickly. It’s possible to go from short to long in just slightly over a month.
Even if longer nails aren’t desired, try keeping the nails in good shape and always put a coat of clear polish on them. It does protect the nail and for those who like longer nails, keeping polish on them does help prevent breaks. It depends on how hard we are on our hands during the day. That’s why I use gloves whenever possible.
The quality of nail products available goes from the ridiculous to the sublime. I buy medium ranged nail products. Cheaper tools break or don’t last. Nail polish can get gummy if not used frequently, especially the cheaper brands. I have many bottles of polish and I often have to toss them. It’s possible to put a drop or two of nail polish remover in them when they get gummy but it doesn’t always work the way I want it to. There is a special product made specifically for that purpose which I’ve never used.
Revlon manufactures my current favorite polish. They make a line called ColorStay. It’s a clear protective coating brushed over the polish and is sold as a set. The one-week routine above can be extended to two weeks if we are careful with how we handle our hands and use this line of polish. I have been able to keep a manicure going for as long as three weeks with touch ups.
One of the most frustrating aspects of pretty nails is the smudge. We spend time painting the nails then pick up a brownie too soon and bam (sorry Emeril) it’s smudged. That’s because it takes a bit of effort to dry the nails so don’t fudge (pun intended) on this step. Either a small space heater or a professional dryer is absolutely essential to keeping the manicure less frustrating each day. Some people say they don’t have all night to polish their nails. Not necessary. Spend a few bucks and get the little space heater. I place mine on a small stepping stool then I place my toes on the edge and dangle my hands in front and I’m done in about five minutes.
My last “trick” is a fun one and it works great. If I am a little sloppy with the polish I let it go. In fact, I’m usually very sloppy when it comes to the toes. I just let it dry. When the polish is thoroughly dry I slip on my socks and gloves with petroleum jelly or lotion before bed and the next morning the excess dried polish comes right off with a few swipes of the nailbrush. For stubborn spots just scratch it off with an emery board! And resist the urge to put too many coats on per session. One thin coat is best per day.
For pretty hands, feet, and nails, I spend just a few minutes each day before bed--instead of eating a bowl of ice cream. You can too.
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
Each week in this spot I will report an instance of good customer service (if any) but without embellishment. Just a business that knows how to treat customers. This week I received excellent customer service from:
www.MemoryMixers.com
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.]
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Mani-Pedi (Part 1 of 2)
[For previous blogs please visit “blog archive” to the lower left of this screen. Click on the small black arrows for a drop down list of all the blogs.]
A few weeks ago I mentioned that I anticipated posting a blog on manicures and received dozens of emails to please move it up on my list! I am NOT a professional. The advice herein is based on my own lifelong experience. It will be two parts because the hands need a little preparation before the pretty nails appear. So here it is:
Over the years I’ve been asked how I manage to maintain such nice nails. Everyone seems to feel I was born with great nails or that it’s a laborious process to have manicured nails. I’m here to share my secret that it is not. It does take some initial preparation if nails are in bad shape but after about two weeks even the most neglected nails will respond to tender treatment. Once they are conditioned a minimal manicure routine will keep them that way—forever!
When acrylic nails became popular many women who previously could not seem to manage a nice natural nail manicure at home found salon acrylics to be the answer to their prayers. The acrylics do look beautiful but they are costly and they take time for the constant visits for fills and lost nails and so forth. There are also health concerns about the process itself and the hygiene of various salons. Some salon equipment is not cleaned properly between manicure clients and some shops have been closed by county health agencies. There are even reports of permanently lost nail beds and fingers due to infection and fungus.
Most acrylic users wore very long acrylics when they first became popular but eventually many women pulled back to medium or shorter looks yet still acrylics. The acrylic is beautiful and for those who have no problem with shelling out the $$$$ and the trips to safe salons, feel free to skip this blog.
At one time I had very long nails (not acrylics) but for the past 10 or so years I’ve kept them somewhat short/medium. Many women today have left the long red nail style for shorter clear nails. But the nails and nail beds still must look good and a coat of clear polish does wonders.
Hands and feet are a credibility issue. Employers notice the hands and if certain summer shoe styles are worn the feet are noticed. Men and women also observe each other’s hands and feet when looking for romantic interludes. Most like clean men and women, including hands and feet. I take my dogs in every two months to have their nails trimmed.
When I’m out and about I often see feet in sandals that should be in boots. The pedicure is just as easy as the manicure. Dirty feet and nails are not just unattractive but they are unsanitary. Sometimes people are nicely dressed and their feet are horrible. People forget their feet! This goes for men too. I’ve seen toenails on men that could be used as weapons of mass destruction (and often are when snuggling).
Sometimes when I’m out and about and around people where hands are viewed I’m alarmed to see that often their nails are dirty. This doesn’t mean the hands are but the person may work in the garden or work with something that leaves residue under the nail. When I work in the garden I use gardening gloves but sometimes I remove the gloves if they are too bulky for something I’m doing that requires a fine touch. When I’m done, I use a nailbrush. I keep the nailbrush right next to the sink. Out of sight out of mind so it’s simple enough to keep it right next to the sink. If dirt is too embedded I soak the nails for just a few minutes in hot water and soap. Catching it quickly before it has time to make a home under there is key to its easy removal. There’s a funny commercial where a cartoon fungus character looks for a nice cozy place to live. It’s not a joke.
My father worked in a dirty environment in the trucking industry for many years but when he came home he changed and showered and cleaned his nails. He kept them short to prevent yucky stuff from collecting there. He later owned a restaurant and did the same routine because of food handling, also a dirty environment.
If nails aren’t polished or trimmed or kept in good condition, they should at least be clean. If nothing else is done, the nails should be clean. It’s a complete turnoff for most people to see dirty nails. Some work is done in environments with materials that stain the hands but I have noticed more and more of these professionals use gloves. So many wonderful gloves are made today and many feel like they aren’t even there. The gloves are often worn to protect the person from disease or dangerous substances but they sure help keep the hands clean. We eat with our hands. I have watched people bring burgers to their mouths with dirty nails. It’s a great dieting tool for me.
I use several types of gloves: Thick rubber gloves for gardening and thinner gardening gloves for sweeping and non thorn-related work, thin latex or non latex for most uses, thicker “dish” washing gloves that are easy to slip the hands into quickly and just as quickly slip them out. (It’s a habit but a good one. I get them a bit large so that I don’t struggle to get my hands in and out. If it’s cumbersome, people won’t do it.)
So basically here’s what needs to be done after a preliminary review of the nails. If the nails aren’t too bad begin the steps in next week’s blog. If they are out of control let’s get them in order first and remember, this will not have to be done again unless the routine disappears.
CONDITIONING: First, supplies. Emery boards, a cuticle stick, clear polish or color polish, hand lotion, petroleum jelly, nail clippers (small ones), small space heater or professional manicure heater, and manicure gloves to be worn during the night while sleeping for the conditioning phase. These gloves are made specifically for this purpose and are inexpensive and never need to be replaced, just laundered. I have socks specifically made for the pedicure too.
Take a long hard look at the hands. (All of this is ditto for the feet.) The nails should all be the same length and slightly rounded or a modified square but with slightly rounded edges across the top of the nail but not filed down the sides. This style keeps them from breaking and getting caught on things throughout the day. Use the nail clipper and emery board and make each nail smooth and short. For now. If super short is preferred, it’s still nice to have a smooth filing over the top. If (horrors) a nail breaks, resign yourself to the sad fact that ALL of the remaining nails must be filed down to match the broken nail. Hands with nails of assorted lengths are not attractive.
Now look at the cuticles. Most people never touch their cuticles and that is not healthy for the nail bed. Some salons never touch the cuticles and if the salon ignores the cuticle, change salons. Cuticles should NEVER be cut or clipped. All that is necessary for a healthy looking cuticle is soaking and pushing with a cuticle stick and once they are conditioned just pushing them gently with the fingers is enough to keep them nice. If the cuticle is very tight it may take a few days to move it.
Cuticle sticks come in a variety of styles. (See photo at left.) They are pointy on one end usually have a flat “moon” on the other end. The pointy part cleans under the nail and the half-moon pushes the cuticle into compliance. Wooden are my favorite but I currently use a plastic one that came in travel kit I found.
I mention the cuticle a lot in this blog because it’s the key to pretty nails and growth. I’ve learned there are many people who have never worked with the cuticle and once they do they are amazed at how their nails grow. If the cuticle doesn’t move easily at first don’t push too hard. If the nails are bad it may take a few treatments. Like I said, initially to get the nails in good shape it may take two weeks.
After the nails have been trimmed and filed to a nice short length and the cuticles have been worked on, the next step will make all the difference in the maintenance of nice hands. Right before bed dip each finger into the petroleum jelly up to the first knuckle then put on the manicure gloves without removing the excess petroleum jelly. A nice big glob is what works. Do this a few times throughout the first two weeks but not every night unless your hands are hideous. (Be honest. And the feet are usually hideous if they haven’t been taken care of. Don’t forget the heel. Eww.) Once in a while it’s nice to do this to the hands and feet to keep them from getting rough even after they have gotten into pretty good shape.
Every few days throughout this two-week period look at the nails and use the cuticle stick and file as needed. Improvement will appear in just a few days. Resist the urge to cut anything off that doesn’t belong there around the cuticle. It will drop off by itself in a few days. Just keep pushing the cuticle. I push my cuticles throughout the day without even thinking. It takes SECONDS to do both hands. The cuticle is the key to pretty nails.
Every day rub lotion onto the nails several times a day especially around the cuticles. Massage the lotion into the nail bed. It feels good and will improve their appearance but the petroleum jelly is what will do the most work. Note: Doris Day used to completely cover her entire body with petroleum jelly on a weekly basis then go to bed in a sweat suit, socks, and gloves. She swore it was what kept her youthful and beautiful. Some do this with their hair but I imagine it would take a couple of bottles of shampoo to get rid of it.
After two weeks it’s time for The Mani-Pedi. The first week may be a learning curve. However, after only one week nice nails will appear and it should be an encouragement to continue the routine. Remember: The maintenance phase won’t be necessary anymore once the regular routine begins. Just the daily steps will keep the nails looking great.
I’ve used this method on myself for years but I have helped countless family members and friends too. The only problem with this routine is that some people fall off the wagon. I’m posting a few photos of my nails and the cuticle stick. Disregard the wrinkles. No petroleum jelly in the world is going to make them go away. Next week: the 7 steps.
www.sharonstrawhandgarner.com
[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.]
A few weeks ago I mentioned that I anticipated posting a blog on manicures and received dozens of emails to please move it up on my list! I am NOT a professional. The advice herein is based on my own lifelong experience. It will be two parts because the hands need a little preparation before the pretty nails appear. So here it is:
Over the years I’ve been asked how I manage to maintain such nice nails. Everyone seems to feel I was born with great nails or that it’s a laborious process to have manicured nails. I’m here to share my secret that it is not. It does take some initial preparation if nails are in bad shape but after about two weeks even the most neglected nails will respond to tender treatment. Once they are conditioned a minimal manicure routine will keep them that way—forever!
When acrylic nails became popular many women who previously could not seem to manage a nice natural nail manicure at home found salon acrylics to be the answer to their prayers. The acrylics do look beautiful but they are costly and they take time for the constant visits for fills and lost nails and so forth. There are also health concerns about the process itself and the hygiene of various salons. Some salon equipment is not cleaned properly between manicure clients and some shops have been closed by county health agencies. There are even reports of permanently lost nail beds and fingers due to infection and fungus.
Most acrylic users wore very long acrylics when they first became popular but eventually many women pulled back to medium or shorter looks yet still acrylics. The acrylic is beautiful and for those who have no problem with shelling out the $$$$ and the trips to safe salons, feel free to skip this blog.
At one time I had very long nails (not acrylics) but for the past 10 or so years I’ve kept them somewhat short/medium. Many women today have left the long red nail style for shorter clear nails. But the nails and nail beds still must look good and a coat of clear polish does wonders.
Hands and feet are a credibility issue. Employers notice the hands and if certain summer shoe styles are worn the feet are noticed. Men and women also observe each other’s hands and feet when looking for romantic interludes. Most like clean men and women, including hands and feet. I take my dogs in every two months to have their nails trimmed.
When I’m out and about I often see feet in sandals that should be in boots. The pedicure is just as easy as the manicure. Dirty feet and nails are not just unattractive but they are unsanitary. Sometimes people are nicely dressed and their feet are horrible. People forget their feet! This goes for men too. I’ve seen toenails on men that could be used as weapons of mass destruction (and often are when snuggling).
Sometimes when I’m out and about and around people where hands are viewed I’m alarmed to see that often their nails are dirty. This doesn’t mean the hands are but the person may work in the garden or work with something that leaves residue under the nail. When I work in the garden I use gardening gloves but sometimes I remove the gloves if they are too bulky for something I’m doing that requires a fine touch. When I’m done, I use a nailbrush. I keep the nailbrush right next to the sink. Out of sight out of mind so it’s simple enough to keep it right next to the sink. If dirt is too embedded I soak the nails for just a few minutes in hot water and soap. Catching it quickly before it has time to make a home under there is key to its easy removal. There’s a funny commercial where a cartoon fungus character looks for a nice cozy place to live. It’s not a joke.
My father worked in a dirty environment in the trucking industry for many years but when he came home he changed and showered and cleaned his nails. He kept them short to prevent yucky stuff from collecting there. He later owned a restaurant and did the same routine because of food handling, also a dirty environment.
If nails aren’t polished or trimmed or kept in good condition, they should at least be clean. If nothing else is done, the nails should be clean. It’s a complete turnoff for most people to see dirty nails. Some work is done in environments with materials that stain the hands but I have noticed more and more of these professionals use gloves. So many wonderful gloves are made today and many feel like they aren’t even there. The gloves are often worn to protect the person from disease or dangerous substances but they sure help keep the hands clean. We eat with our hands. I have watched people bring burgers to their mouths with dirty nails. It’s a great dieting tool for me.
I use several types of gloves: Thick rubber gloves for gardening and thinner gardening gloves for sweeping and non thorn-related work, thin latex or non latex for most uses, thicker “dish” washing gloves that are easy to slip the hands into quickly and just as quickly slip them out. (It’s a habit but a good one. I get them a bit large so that I don’t struggle to get my hands in and out. If it’s cumbersome, people won’t do it.)
So basically here’s what needs to be done after a preliminary review of the nails. If the nails aren’t too bad begin the steps in next week’s blog. If they are out of control let’s get them in order first and remember, this will not have to be done again unless the routine disappears.
CONDITIONING: First, supplies. Emery boards, a cuticle stick, clear polish or color polish, hand lotion, petroleum jelly, nail clippers (small ones), small space heater or professional manicure heater, and manicure gloves to be worn during the night while sleeping for the conditioning phase. These gloves are made specifically for this purpose and are inexpensive and never need to be replaced, just laundered. I have socks specifically made for the pedicure too.
Take a long hard look at the hands. (All of this is ditto for the feet.) The nails should all be the same length and slightly rounded or a modified square but with slightly rounded edges across the top of the nail but not filed down the sides. This style keeps them from breaking and getting caught on things throughout the day. Use the nail clipper and emery board and make each nail smooth and short. For now. If super short is preferred, it’s still nice to have a smooth filing over the top. If (horrors) a nail breaks, resign yourself to the sad fact that ALL of the remaining nails must be filed down to match the broken nail. Hands with nails of assorted lengths are not attractive.
Now look at the cuticles. Most people never touch their cuticles and that is not healthy for the nail bed. Some salons never touch the cuticles and if the salon ignores the cuticle, change salons. Cuticles should NEVER be cut or clipped. All that is necessary for a healthy looking cuticle is soaking and pushing with a cuticle stick and once they are conditioned just pushing them gently with the fingers is enough to keep them nice. If the cuticle is very tight it may take a few days to move it.
Cuticle sticks come in a variety of styles. (See photo at left.) They are pointy on one end usually have a flat “moon” on the other end. The pointy part cleans under the nail and the half-moon pushes the cuticle into compliance. Wooden are my favorite but I currently use a plastic one that came in travel kit I found.
I mention the cuticle a lot in this blog because it’s the key to pretty nails and growth. I’ve learned there are many people who have never worked with the cuticle and once they do they are amazed at how their nails grow. If the cuticle doesn’t move easily at first don’t push too hard. If the nails are bad it may take a few treatments. Like I said, initially to get the nails in good shape it may take two weeks.
After the nails have been trimmed and filed to a nice short length and the cuticles have been worked on, the next step will make all the difference in the maintenance of nice hands. Right before bed dip each finger into the petroleum jelly up to the first knuckle then put on the manicure gloves without removing the excess petroleum jelly. A nice big glob is what works. Do this a few times throughout the first two weeks but not every night unless your hands are hideous. (Be honest. And the feet are usually hideous if they haven’t been taken care of. Don’t forget the heel. Eww.) Once in a while it’s nice to do this to the hands and feet to keep them from getting rough even after they have gotten into pretty good shape.
Every few days throughout this two-week period look at the nails and use the cuticle stick and file as needed. Improvement will appear in just a few days. Resist the urge to cut anything off that doesn’t belong there around the cuticle. It will drop off by itself in a few days. Just keep pushing the cuticle. I push my cuticles throughout the day without even thinking. It takes SECONDS to do both hands. The cuticle is the key to pretty nails.
Every day rub lotion onto the nails several times a day especially around the cuticles. Massage the lotion into the nail bed. It feels good and will improve their appearance but the petroleum jelly is what will do the most work. Note: Doris Day used to completely cover her entire body with petroleum jelly on a weekly basis then go to bed in a sweat suit, socks, and gloves. She swore it was what kept her youthful and beautiful. Some do this with their hair but I imagine it would take a couple of bottles of shampoo to get rid of it.
After two weeks it’s time for The Mani-Pedi. The first week may be a learning curve. However, after only one week nice nails will appear and it should be an encouragement to continue the routine. Remember: The maintenance phase won’t be necessary anymore once the regular routine begins. Just the daily steps will keep the nails looking great.
I’ve used this method on myself for years but I have helped countless family members and friends too. The only problem with this routine is that some people fall off the wagon. I’m posting a few photos of my nails and the cuticle stick. Disregard the wrinkles. No petroleum jelly in the world is going to make them go away. Next week: the 7 steps.
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