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The week before last I posted a blog about the mechanics of a stress-filled Christmas. I had planned on posting a follow-up on the stress of Christmas shopping, specifically, but instead posted a celebratory piece on the World Series Champions, the San Francisco Giants! (I do have my priorities.) But back on topic, along with other elements that can create stress at Christmas the part I dislike most about Christmas is the shopping. There are many reasons why. Here they are.
I don't like to shop generally. I know that’s anti-American and definitely not female, but I am indeed an American and I am a female. I was not born with the shopping gene. My grandmother was, my mother was not, I was not, and my daughter was. It’s skipping around our generations somewhat sporadically. My son doesn’t like to shop either but he actually shops more than I do because he cooks more than I do.
I only shop once a month for food and basics. If I run out of something, I do without. I’m good at planning so I usually don’t run out of really important items. Fresh foods go first but I cook the aging fresh foods for future meals and freeze them. The exception to this rule is if I know company is coming then I will go out and shop. If they drop by unannounced, they will starve to death.
But it isn’t just food. It’s everything. I never shop for clothes. I have clothes in my closet that could bring a tidy sum at the Antiques Roadshow. In the past if I needed, say, a white blouse, I used to go shopping for a white blouse. Nothing else. I used to go to three or four stores and if I couldn’t find what I liked I left and came home and practiced deep breathing. I may not have shopped for the blouse again for weeks. I needed to gather my strength to go back out there. I am not agoraphobic. I go many places. Just not shopping.
Many years ago I discovered shopping online. Since that time the only physical store shopping I’ve done for anything, including the holidays, is for food and basics or maybe if I’m driving by I’ll stop and pick up a box of gift candy somewhere but only if the store has an outdoor entrance and I do not have to go through the mall to get to them. I help my mom with her basic shopping and her Christmas shopping online too. I also make a few gifts each year, however, family and friends can only take so many homemade gifts, even though I am now a quasi-professional in the world of crafts having had a small business making and selling a variety of crafts.
About two Sundays before Christmas I pour a large cup of freshly ground coffee splashed with eggnog, set my iPod and Bose to my Christmas playlist, and begin. I’m usually wearing Christmas pajamas, gifts from the previous year. I start with a recipient list sitting next to me along with my debit card. I never shop on credit. I budget small amounts all year. I have no idea whatsoever what I’m going to buy or look for. Sometimes I do have an idea for a gift based on a conversation with a family member in passing but usually I fly blind. I stick to the budget and sometimes it’s a slim budget.
I’m a cautious Internet shopper and I avoid all the ads for “fantastic savings” and “one day only” sales that appear as I snoop around. Instead I shop at the major stores I trust and use often and check out their offerings. I also click on links embedded on websites I trust. Those websites do the investigative work for me. Because I’m usually a returning customer I often get even deeper savings than a newish customer. It’s amazing to me what is to be found two weeks away from Christmas. I have learned that the discounts do not get much deeper any closer to Christmas. There will be a bargain or two if there’s a certain something a shopper is looking for but the best discounts are about two weeks prior to Christmas or even a week-and-a-half before. And there are usually great shipping bargains at that time. And did I mention I’m in my pajamas while Christmas shopping?
My goal each year now that I’m experienced at this method of shopping is to only purchase items with free shipping and deep discounts. If I find something I love and the shipping isn’t there or the price is a bit high I shop for the same item at other online stores and have never been disappointed. One year I bought beautiful cashmere sweaters for the men and women in my family for almost nothing as well as many other great gifts. I find I can give more gifts and nicer quality gifts by shopping online.
As the gifts are delivered to my door, I wrap them immediately and place them under the tree. I have a nice wrapping paper storage unit that sits unobtrusively by the garage door so that in just a short time the gifts are wrapped and the wrapping mess is put away awaiting the next delivery. The entire online shopping process takes about two hours and the subsequent wrapping about 15 minutes per delivery. (This will change some when there are grandchildren of course.) Last year I purchased an item for $50 that sold for $100 at most stores I visited online. A little diligent searching can produce amazing results. It included free shipping. Sometimes I need more coffee to finish. When I’m done I take a celebratory bubble bath with candles and more Christmas music.
I started this process while still working full time. I ordered the gifts on the weekend then had them all sent to the office. Now they come to my house and I’m here to greet the delivery person since I’ve retired. My last few years on the job were significantly less stressful around Christmas thanks to online shopping.
I believe the reason for the amazing discounts and free shipping is simple. If I visit my local physical department store their display items are limited in floor space. If I shop online at the same store I’m shopping their huge warehouses loaded with goods. Their goal is to reduce inventory by discounting to thousands or millions of customers during a short seasonal period. My local stores try to unload their floor items and whatever is delivered by truck during these days and stored locally. Last year I learned that retailers did not re-stock their mall stores because they were stuck with inventory from the year before. Of course they offer discounts but they have overhead so the discounts can’t compete with what I find online.
Many years ago when my kids were little (before my online shopping) I did all of my Christmas shopping in October and November and sometimes part of December, wrapped it all, and hid the items “from Santa.” It was a huge undertaking. It took many trips to malls and stores and lugging everything in and out of the car. I hated that part but was desperate to avoid the Christmas rush at the shops. Then a few days before Christmas I took the kids to a large mall to visit Santa. While there we would walk around and look at all the decorations and the strolling minstrels and occasionally go inside a store but we didn’t buy anything. We also would stop somewhere in the mall and have lunch and then head home with our house all decorated and presents from the family under the tree. (Santa’s presents were always hidden and wrapped in bright distinctive foil paper that was completely different from the regular paper under the tree.)
While at these malls with the kids on our Santa visits I received a perverse pleasure out of watching people screaming at their kids while pulling them around by their armpits. I witnessed countless arguments between couples over gift items and spending amounts. Everyone was on the run, exhausted, spending what they shouldn’t just to get out of there while we happily strolled and listened to Christmas music. No bags and no stressful baggage.
The thought of going to a mall or store the day after Thanksgiving practically makes me break out in hives. And besides, that’s the day I start decorating my house while snacking on Thanksgiving leftovers with my family. Participating in “early bird saver” deals at any store never coerced me to shop in the cold wee hours of the morning. Do we really need items so desperately that we would go shopping at 4 a.m. or midnight? If so, why do we feel we need those items? One item last year that was promoted at one of the stores as an early bird special was online the same day, cheaper, with free shipping. It wasn’t an item I needed but I wanted to see what the online competition had to offer.
Each year I hear about cars being broken into, people being mugged in the parking lots, people having their credit cards mishandled at stores, horrible storms, spending too much because they are out shopping after work in the dark and they start impulse shopping just to get out of there and so on. So many people get sick at Christmas and it’s because they are exposed to hoards of sick shoppers. I have never once had any difficulty with shopping online and I’ve never caught the flu shopping online. If I have to return something it’s always credited to my account and/or a replacement has been sent. I shop at the stores I trust and have never had a single problem. I receive emails from them with very large discounts prior to the holidays. My car is happy as she sits in her dry garage with a tummy full of gas. Did I mention I’m in my pajamas when I shop?
I have never liked shopping. I pretended to like it when I was younger because that’s what girls and women are supposed to like. My friends all loved shopping so I’d go along. Now that I’m older I don’t pretend behaviors anymore. I don’t like shopping and I do my best to avoid it. When friends want to do lunch and go shopping I go to the lunch portion of the outing then excuse myself and come home and walk my dogs.
Of course, I have to shop for some things. I do need food and items for my home; I do occasionally need clothing (but not often) and other things. However, I usually keep a list in my kitchen of things I need and when it gets fairly full I go online or plan my trip and hit the stores in one outing. And how much does a person need? Some people like to hop in the car and head to a mall and just shop. Without a list. For no reason. Just an outing. Something to do. Mind-boggling.
As of this writing I don’t believe I’ve stepped inside a shopping mall for three years. Maybe longer. Oh, and when I do occasionally stop by a mall to purchase a box of gift candy I do not buy a lawnmower. My attitude is not popular with our local municipalities because of the sales tax they don't receive from my purchases but some online companies do charge tax computed on my area code. However, a great many still don't. I want to support my community but I have to watch my pocketbook. No one else does these days.
[Update: I had to visit a mall before this posting. Karma. However, it was a popular computer store and a tech helped me with a computer issue. I was in and out in 30 minutes and I did not visit another store while there. It was a free visit by the way. I didn’t break out in hives. Alas, I couldn’t wear my pajamas but that’s okay because I wasn’t technically shopping.]
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