Just finished the first book in my new series 

The Case Files of Ronald T. Barone

I'm attaching the book cover for a sneak peek. I'm doing the final editing now and will have my friend proofread with her magic pen in a couple of weeks but for the most part it's done and I hope to publish in June. It was so much fun and after I got into it I started writing outlines for the series. I can't wait to dig in and send Ronald and Claire on lots of scary adventures. Keep checking for publication.

I've had to put my weekly blogs on hold. I started my fourth book and keeping up with weekly blog postings and writing my new book is A LOT. So for now I invite you to check out my blog archive to the lower right of this message and drop me a note from time to time if you have questions.
Thank you!

Sharon 

sharonstrawhandgarner@yahoo.com

Personal Debt Addiction

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Now that Christmas has come and gone I’ve been thinking about debt. Many go into debt to lavish gifts and entertainment upon their families and friends over the holidays. Food alone is a small fortune. It often takes all year to pay off Christmas debt. Sometimes it takes longer than a year and Christmas debt is piled upon Christmas debt year after year. Add to that other debt growth throughout the year and we have people who can’t dig up cash if their lives depended on it. Instead, if cash is needed, some take it from a credit card. It’s a vicious cycle---and excessive spending is an addiction. 

Fortunes are made by people who claim they can rid folks of debt. People go into debt paying for systems (or legal help) that proclaim debt can be eliminated simply and in a short time. These systems are expensive and plunge the debtor further into debt and despair. Most people who buy these systems find they can’t stick to them. Things come up they must buy and they can’t stick to the debt plan one month then another month then before they know it they are right back where they were before buying the system---and they are still paying for the system. Once debt has a person around the neck it’s not easy to get away from it. Some go to extreme measures to relieve their debt via criminal actions or suicide. Like drugs, alcohol, and gambling, debt can be an addiction.

Debt doesn’t crop up over night. It’s insidious and slides into our lives with tiny purchases or sometimes genuine emergencies. We often buy things we don’t need---but want. It’s easy to buy that tiny item so that when the next desire presents itself we spring for it. After all, it’s only a few dollars more a month. This continues, especially with those inexperienced in money management, young people and people managing an income alone after a divorce, or any number of circumstances, until one day the person wakes up and realizes they are in a terrible bind. Then real debt builds as they take on debt to pay off debt. It’s a trap set by commercial entities. We are bombarded with offers of great discounts and wonderful goods at incredible price reductions for goods we DON’T need and tiny payments. Because we’re worth it. That's a lie for another blog.

The first factor in determining how we got into debt is to simply stroll around our homes. How many items do we see that were purchased on credit? How many items did we save for and buy with cash? Do I hear laughter? It’s true. Who buys anything anymore with cash that has been saved for a special item? (My son does which I will explain a bit later.)

Some items are difficult to save for. Most of us need a car. If we live in a major city we do not need a car and some enlightened urban dwellers do not buy cars but take public transportation (only in cities where it works---our old transportation systems need repair today but at one time our cities had great public transportation). If a car is needed then those folks rent cars for weekend trips. Of course, they need a credit card to do that. It amazed me the first time I rented a car that I had to have a credit card. I wanted to pay for it with cash. What kind of world do we live in where we MUST have a credit card? I think it’s so that if we destroy the car or do something to it they can come after us via our card. My daughter went on vacation and the rental car agency added huge additional charges a couple of weeks after she got home. She fought the charges and won. It was a battle.

So after we evaluate our homes and analyze what we purchased with credit we then learn whether or not we needed the items or wanted the items. There’s nothing wrong with wanting something---if we can afford it. If we want something and can’t pay for it, we should save for it. (Oh, stop laughing.) We simply make a payment to ourselves monthly until we’ve saved enough to buy it. Better to make the payment now than after. So many nasty things can happen after when there’s no money but the paymen(s) linger. If we are saving for a TV now and the engine falls out of our car on the freeway, we can dip into our TV savings and fix the car. (Can’t we charge the car repair? Oh, of course we can because we decided we need a car.)

But putting big ticket items aside like cars, refrigerators, heaters, etc., they are not what truly gets us in debt. It’s the hundreds of little things we buy on credit. That we don’t need but we want. We want some things so desperately we are willing to go into debt.  

How many pairs of shoes does a person need and of what quality? I’m hard on shoes. When I used to buy expensive shoes in only a few weeks I’d scuffed them and scraped them (how do I do that) and was horrified. Now I buy some medium priced shoes but mostly very cheap shoes that I beat to death and I don’t buy many. When they are bad I dump them and replace them. How many pieces of jewelry do we need (none, actually), or how many decorative items for our homes that we are willing to go into debt to purchase? In fact, how many electronics do we need? None. It’s true. None. Remember it’s all about need v. want. But I have every electronic gadget ever invented and the minute it’s outdated (which is usually the day after I buy it) I want the updated version. I’m guilty too.

So over a year ago my son decided he wanted a top of the line laptop. He researched the various computers he was interested in and eventually found just want he wanted and in fact special ordered an upgrade and his computer is so slick he could run the Pentagon with it. Then he purchased a couple of accessories for it---all with cash. He saved for about a year. He did without many things. He dipped into his savings for a couple of small emergencies (one car emergency and something he needed for work). His computer is very expensive and it’s 100% paid for. I have friends with outrageously outdated computers they are still making payments on. Some are still paying for old computers they no longer own. I have two and both are paid for.

Delayed gratification. We’ve all heard that term. Sometimes it has a sexual connotation but it also applies to other desires, the desire to have goods we want and we want them right now. Maybe it’s because I’m older now and wiser (I hope) but there is nothing I want so much that I would go into debt to have. And mind you, there are many things I actually do want. Just not enough to go into debt.

Of course, I do have a big fat mortgage and that is certainly debt. But as debt goes it helps me at tax time and it’s my little nest/home. But I know some who are rethinking home ownership and all of its repairs and maintenance and many in my age group are dumping their homes for the ease of renting a nice apartment somewhere. My mom still lives in her home and recently had expensive termite work done and I’ve had dry rot repair going on for weeks. An apartment is very appealing right about now.

So here’s how to get out of debt and my advice is free. Stop charging stuff. Do without. Only buy essentials (groceries, medical care, dog food) until the debt is gone. Have a huge garage sale. Take that money and pay off some of the debt. If the debt is tremendous and completely out of control consider bankruptcy. Some debt people have is because they lost their jobs. Most is because we spend too much for things we don’t need. Don’t spend, don’t charge, one step at a time. Make a list of what is needed to live and every time a purchase is considered ask if it’s needed---or wanted. Depending on the debt it could take a long time to pay it off. That’s fine. If the job market is not cooperating, consider asking for government assistance if it might apply to your situation. That’s why it’s there. Don’t be embarrassed. Everyone needs a little help once in a while. Life is too short to live with stress every day. Find ways to pay off the debt, all of it or some of it, then never accumulate debt again.

Over the years I’ve kept a list of things I want which is separate from things I need. The list is long but when I review it from time to time I cross items off the list because I no longer want them. I wanted the items when I placed them on the list but now they’ve been on there for so long I’ve realized I actually no longer want them.

I know people who have comfortable incomes and buy whatever they want but they still use credit for the purchases. I’m not sure I understand that because when the you-know-what hits the fan, and none of us are safe, those debts will ruin them. When the comfy income goes then what?

I guess I should point out it’s easier for me to not buy things because I don’t like to shop. For those who love to hit the mall on a regular basis to buy things “on sale,” ew. You don't save money buying things on sale. You spend it. Think about it.

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Too Many Holiday Spirits?

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Each year when November rolls around an amazing thing happens. We all gain a lot of weight and many of us drink alcohol with wild abandon. People who rarely if ever drink during the year suddenly have voracious appetites for food and spirits. Too much of both. However, one can eat half a turkey and still get in a car and drive home. There might be a seat adjustment (removing the steering wheel from our guts) but eating 8000 calories of Thanksgiving food still gets us home---sick but safe. Drinking multiple bottles of wine and consuming fancy cocktails does not.

There are many holidays throughout the year but Thanksgiving begins a pig fest of enormous proportions. Most people I know pull out all the stops and dig through traditional family recipes with vigor and spend way too much money on these meals and work their fannies off all in an effort to make a lovely event for family and friends. Sometimes it’s a group preparation event but all too often it’s one woman working from dawn to midnight feeding hoards of people wondering if she’ll also be able to pay her utility bill when it’s all over. After we have just barely recovered from Thanksgiving it’s the steady and relentless march to Christmas and New Year’s. More food and more alcohol.

I’ve scaled back on all of this. Many years ago I gave up mall shopping and Christmas cards. I used to send out 300 cards. Now I wish everyone a Merry Christmas on the Internet via social networking, email, etc. I buy a few gifts online, I often make a few gifts, and I prepare very nice but simple meals. Granted, there are fewer of us left in the family so feeding those who remain is a lot easier. And alcohol is almost nonexistent. Maybe one bottle of very nice wine for all of us to share at one dinner. We love wine. We are Californians. I hate drunks. When I’m in charge of the meals, alcohol is minimal.

News reports each year at the beginning of the feeding frenzy warn all of us about drinking and driving. More law enforcement officers are required to be on duty than any other time of the year and they spend a large amount of their day/night looking for the drivers who had a bit too much alcohol---and they find them. Even with all the warnings about holiday drinking drunk drivers are out there by the thousands.

Some habitual drinkers have learned to take appropriate steps to get home without interruption by law enforcement. Many now take cabs to and from drinking events, some sleep over at their hosts’ homes, some buddy up and someone becomes the designated driver (which means the DDs are not allowed ANY alcohol), and some sleep it off in their cars. However, that last trick is still begging for a DUI.

Years ago on “Everybody Loves Raymond” “Deborah” went to an event and because she knew she had probably consumed more alcohol than was allowed she decided to sleep in her car until she felt she would be safe to drive. Instead, she was arrested for a DUI. No one who has consumed alcohol can sit in a car even if they are passed out unless there is a sober driver behind the wheel. Even though that seemed the sensible thing for her to do she was an inebriated person alone in a car with car keys. The assumption is that people who drink use bad judgment and though she was trying to be prudent how would she determine she was sober enough to drive? After a 30 minute nap? 60 minute nap? What would be the appropriate amount of time to pass before the remnants of alcohol no longer remained in her system making her legally able to drive? Who knows? So rather than take a chance on someone’s faulty assessment of their abilities, law enforcement considers that a DUI.

As I recall that character was not a “drinker.” In fact, many people who end up on the bad end of a DUI are casual social drinkers. A little wine with dinner, maybe a cocktail. But when I researched alcohol levels for this post I found that there are many guidelines but they are only guidelines. Most people can probably have a glass of wine with dinner and much later drive home. Apparently, not all people are that lucky. (And what size is the wine glass?) If a person has a health condition, is small and doesn’t weigh much, does not eat much of a dinner but nibbles, doesn’t drink often and has a low tolerance for stimulants of any kind, all of these people can find themselves in trouble.

One example of a typical social evening providing the inability to avoid a DUI is a nice cocktail before dinner, and a few glasses of wine with dinner. That is the classic recipe for disaster. And it is not the hardcore guy sitting at a bar chugging down drink after drink. It’s the fancy spiked Christmas punch followed by expensive holiday wines for the meal. Casual social drinkers are actually more of a problem than those guys hunkering down over a bar. Bartenders routinely call cabs for those guys and smart lawsuit-savvy bartenders cut those drinkers off. (Not just guys. Plenty of women hunker down on a barstool.)

I know many people who drink too much. These people drive all the time. If there were bounties for reporting drunk drivers I’d be wealthy. And these people know they have had too much, but they also believe they know “how to handle” their liquor and believe themselves to be great drivers. Part of alcohol enhancement is an abundance of overconfidence in one’s abilities (this includes sexual prowess, driving, being amusing, singing, dancing, and the list goes on). Police aren’t looking for people driving the wrong way at 100 miles per hour (though those people are out there). No, they find those people easily. They are, however, trained to look for the slight swerve, driving 40 mph on the freeway, making incomplete stops and coasting through intersections, too much braking, speeding up then slowing down. Those folks make up the bulk of DUI driving. Sipping a beverage while behind the wheel, any beverage, is also suspect.

When I was growing up police officers stopped people and made a face-to-face determination about a person’s alcohol level. Sometimes drivers were asked to get out of the car for a walking test. Sometimes officers interviewed the driver and upon learning the driver was on their way home they were told to drive straight home with no stops. Sometimes they were taken to the local jail to sleep it off, no arrest. Sometimes they were told to sleep it off in a parking lot and the officers would escort the driver to a safe place and drive by and check on them from time to time. This happened all the time. Sometimes officers drove intoxicated drivers home. I personally know folks in my family and circle of friends who were the recipients of these benevolent police interventions.

Those days are gone. Too many drunks have killed, maimed, and injured too many. Drinking and driving with ANY alcohol is a tremendous risk and very expensive. Depending on how bad the DUI is it can involve jail time and the loss of a license, car impoundment, and the list goes on. This isn’t the hardcore drinker, it’s you and me. We are the light social drinkers who go off the grid and get ourselves in more trouble than we ever thought possible during the holidays.

Merry Christmas----but, please----not too merry.

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Pet Surgery and Other Bad Things

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Four years ago I adopted one of my dogs knowing full well he had major dental problems. My vet and I discussed a treatment plan and we both decided to wait until he had lived with me a few months so he would be more comfortable with his surroundings. It was presumed his teeth had been bad for years prior to his arrival at the shelter. No one knew his history but it didn’t include dental care. However, someone loved this dog and treated him lovingly. He has great manners and knows a number of basic commands and is very polite and sweet. We think he may have had an older human and perhaps the human died and the family dropped him off because they didn’t want him or couldn’t have him. I wish they had taken the time to fill out an info sheet.

The vet said it would be extensive and costly the first time he did the procedure and he was right. The second time was estimated to be less stressful and less costly. It was a bit more---of both. The procedure was actually more invasive. He is the type of dog, and there are humans with this problem, who has terrible dental problems inherent to his gene pool. I’ve had friends who had root planing on a regular basis. I only have had one small area with a gum issue and after the work was performed I’ve been fine since. My poor dog.

So the first night was horrible but we are a week post-surgery and he is almost back to normal. With each day I see improvement and he is no longer on pain pills. That first night I felt I should have had pain pills too. I slept on his large dog pillow with him every night for a few days as he groaned and moaned and whimpered. He will NOT let me look in his mouth. When I attempt to look at his mouth he politely moves his head and firmly clamps his lips together. He gives me “the look.” Next week we go back for his post-surgery check-up. I can’t wait to see her try to pry his mouth open. He only has eleven teeth left so biting may not be an issue.

Two weeks before his surgery my daughter moved into a new apartment. She had belongings stored in a public storage unit and many in my garage. She lives about 20 miles away south of me now which makes visits a 40 mile round trip and I did my best to help her but then my dog had surgery and I was no longer able to help her with the stacks of boxes and debris. She is still sorting through it all because of course she had to return to work and I became a canine nurse.

Next, we discovered termites at my mom’s who lives 60 miles in the opposite direction. There’ve been inspections and appointments and phone calls and my mom doesn’t really understand any of it. We have more to go on this project. I have a gas-friendly car though.

Finally, we’ve had beautiful sunny weather so I hired someone to paint my house. First he had to deal with dry rot which was about as bad as my dog’s gum disease. The painter eventually had to enlist the assistance of his cousin, a dry rot expert, and they have been out there banging and pounding and using screeching electrical equipment for two weeks now. My little dog, the one who didn’t have the surgery, barks at them all day and I’ve given up trying to stop her. I’ve barked a time or two myself.

Many problems have occurred along the way with all these fun activities that have had to be resolved. I feel like a yo-yo. I have only missed one blog posting since I started this operation back in March of 2009 and this past week was my first week I couldn’t post anything. My head was pounding and I couldn’t think. I’m barely back to thinking.

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Moving: The Agony and the Ecstasy

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I helped my daughter move this past weekend. Prior to the move she ordered many new pieces of unassembled furniture. She also went from a two-bedroom apartment to a one-bedroom apartment but kept all her two-bedroom “things.” This post is late because I can’t straighten my fingers into typing position. I’ve been using a screwdriver for two days and lifting, tugging, pushing, shoving---and dropping---boxes. This will be a brief post.

Moving is so exciting---until the day we move. A new place to live, perhaps a new town to explore, new neighbors and potential friends to meet, all of it is so exciting until the actual move. Our family has given up on the do-it-yourself truck rentals. We did that for many years and now when we know a move is coming we save for a professional moving company.

We don’t select the large national outfits but rather local small companies with just a couple of employees. The rates are great and we always leave a nice tip. This move was the best so far because we went from a ground floor unit to another ground floor unit. Usually there are stairs. The movers were thrilled. Less agony for all. Her move this past weekend was $705 plus tip. I would have paid twice, perhaps three times as much. And yet, even though they did all that hard work we almost cried when they left. Boxes and unassembled pieces of furniture were everywhere. She must return to work tomorrow. She took two days off surrounding the weekend. I am the official furniture assembler.

This move will reduce her commute by close to an hour. That’s a tremendous savings of time in her life. But for the next few weeks she will be unpacking boxes each evening and as much as she can on weekends. She’s carefully putting things away rather than cramming it all in willy nilly. Many years of moving taught all of us in the family that doing it right from day one will save many hours of pain. Yet, it’s a tedious process and makes the unpacking a lot slower than shoving it all in cupboards and closets. She lives a good distance from me and it will not be as easy to help her out this time.

I am 66 and have moved 25 times in my life. My daughter is 36 and this is her 13^th move. I’ve included the college years because she didn’t live in a dorm and had apartments. With each apartment her possessions grew and grew. I have friends who are my age and have only moved a handful of times. Sometimes I’ve envied them except I’m very happy I’ve moved around so much. I have a huge group of friends from each location and lots of happy memories of so many different parts of the country. But the moving part is just the pits.

I can’t type anymore because my hands and fingers will not cooperate. I had a great blog planned for this weekend but it will have to wait. I think I need a nice soak in the tub with bubbles. And maybe a pound of Aleve.

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WARNING! Do not read this unless you are very brave!

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     So you think you’re brave? You must because you’re reading this even after my warning. Well, fear not. Trust me.

     Though many are wise to the ways of the Internet, there are those who are not. There are thousands of untrue and outrageous stories about celebrities and politicians and illnesses and dangerous foods and medicines and aliens and religions and the list goes on and on and on. Some stories are almost true but a few facts are altered to suit the agenda of the senders. Some are ancient and do not apply to current politicians or administrations but politicians and administrations from decades ago. Many times we read posts about our current president when a little research finds the same rumor all the way back two or three presidencies---different politician, same old rumor. Some people just pull these weird stories out to attack whoever is in office currently. The stories with partial truths get people with faulty memories then they think “Hey, I heard about that!” Yeah, twenty years ago. In France, not here.

     But the untrue and half true stories and the “fear factor” posts can actually be dangerous. A rumor about a celebrity doesn’t hit home half as much as learning that eating a tomato with salt will form a toxin that will burst an aneurism (not true, I repeat, not true). The puzzling part of this is why do people not only believe these stories but pass them on to everyone in their address books? I suppose they want to protect their family and friends but wouldn’t it be prudent to look it up first? Doesn’t salt on a tomato sound odd? For all the years people have been eating tomatoes wouldn’t that information hit the international news broadcasts? There are many websites that debunk hoaxes and weird stories. Why aren’t more of us taking advantage of these sites?

     I’ve actually been tricked a time or two. I’m guilty. Some are so well written---and so frightening---that I have clicked on “forward.” But truly I’ve only done this less than a handful of times and yet I am the recipient of them almost every day. There are so many of them it’s a wonder any of the senders ever leave their homes, ever eat anything, ever touch anything, ever bend, sit, stand, sleep, bathe, walk outside, or shop.

     If my morning news headlines state a poison bottle of aspirin was found in a store in my city I presume my neighbors and friends have read or heard about it. But throughout the course of the day I could possibly mention it when talking to anyone I know or emailing or social networking. If, however, I receive an email that someone found an ancient herb in a bottle of aspirin that causes instant blindness (not true, I repeat, not true), I do NOT pass that one on unless I look it up. Some are so ludicrous I don’t bother looking them up because I can tell they are phony. Some are so bad after two sentences I hit “delete.”

     Some of these emails are not only scary but fraudulent as well. I received two this past year: one from Bank of America and one from Wells Fargo. The Bank of America email was about my account and it warned me I was the victim of identity theft and that I needed to immediately, by return email, provide my Social Security number, credit card numbers, phone numbers, address, and many other pieces of information so that their “fraud unit” could find the culprits. Most of the email looked fairly real except the creator couldn’t spell and the grammar was, well, foreign. I contacted my bank and was given a website to report the email but was never contacted for follow-up. I think it happens all the time. The second email was similar but slicker. Again, it looked like an official Wells Fargo email but it was grammatically correct and there were no spelling errors. The one giant error that made me laugh however was the fact that I am not a Wells Fargo customer. I called Wells Fargo and was given a similar website to report the email but I asked the customer service rep a few questions and he said it was quite common. By the way, I did not use the phone numbers provided in the emails and instead looked the banks up on my own. Calling the phone number provided in the email by the person perpetrating the crime would not lend itself to resolution. I can only imagine who would be answering those phone lines!

     But those emails, though harmful and potentially disastrous, do not frighten folks quite like the scary emails about deadly interactions with salted tomatoes. Emails that threaten life or limb or our children or homes or pets must be researched. I’ve received so many emails about what we must not feed our dogs and cats that had I followed the advice my pets would starve to death. So each time I hear about another food item my pets shouldn’t eat or they will DIE I head to a hoax site and check it out. Often the information is slightly true or partly true in that some dogs have had allergic reactions to certain foods. When you check percentages it’s small. My sister is allergic to shellfish but her entire family still eats it. I have a friend who has the infamous peanut allergy but I can eat peanut butter out of the jar. It’s important to know about genuine allergens that affect many people but if only a few people are allergic to celery do we all stop eating it? I know it’s better to be safe than sorry but a little due diligence, perhaps a call to our doctors and vets (or other experts depending on the nasty email) might be better than pressing forward and never eating a tomato sandwich again. Or---it just might be a great way to take off those last 10 pounds.   

     I considered creating a scary email and sending it to everyone in my address book then sit back and see if it went viral. I finally decided not to do it because I was afraid too many people would stop eating grapes and crush the grape industry [pun intended]. My email was about eating grapes after 7 p.m., which included wine, and male performance---heh heh heh.

[No part of this content may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written p permission of the author. Blog series began in March 2009.]