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Sleep is so important that we have devoted an entire room in our habitats for sleep. The focal point of this room is the bed. It is usually smack dab in the middle of the bedroom. This room, unlike all other rooms in a home, is often shrine-like in its use. How many of us come home from a hard day at work and flop face first on the bed, fully dressed, before beginning the evening routine? And on weekends, if we are very lucky and soccer practice days are behind us, how often do we linger under the covers and smile and praise the arrival of Saturday morning so we don’t have to jump out of our bed and leave it with the warmth of our bodies still emanating beneath the covers? How many times have we made our bed after our trip to the bathroom in the morning only to discover it’s still warm? How desperately do we wish we could hop back in? Yes, other activities besides sleep take place in the bed, but that’s for someone else’s blog because this series is all about sleep—or the lack thereof.
I am a fan of the Home & Garden Network and I’ve watched a few shows built around the proper set up of a sleep-inducing bedroom. A little research on the Internet lists thousands of articles on insomnia and they most all describe the perfect setting for a proper night’s sleep in a proper bedroom. And so, like childhood, I have the perfect bedroom for sleep. It doesn’t work, but I have it.
First, I selected dark soothing colors. Next, my bedroom is decluttered. It would not be appealing to a decorator but for someone with insomnia they would know immediately it’s a serious room for sleep. My room contains a bed, a small dresser with a small TV, and a comfy chair and a lamp. That’s it.
Many articles and studies on insomnia recommend that we don’t watch TV in bed. It is considered a possible insomnia irritant. I did not watch TV in my bedroom for many years because of that potential issue. I had enough problems as it was. However, at one point in my life when I had my college kids living with me before they went off to their four-year schools, I would retreat to my bedroom to relax and watch TV leaving the rest of the house to them and their weird schedules of work and school. Now, if I’m having a particularly bad night, I click it on and watch a little and set the sleep timer and it has helped me fall asleep. Primarily because most programs on TV are horrible and boring (see future blog on television) so it’s easy to just listen to the noise it makes, which keeps outside noises from disturbing me. Again, I use it as “white noise” and why it works is a mystery but it does help.
Sleeping pills. Naturally throughout my life I have tried sleeping pills. One of the most disconcerting experiments happened just a few years ago. My doctor prescribed a pill with instructions to take one then if that didn’t work try two the next time, then three, then finally four. Never more than four. Over a four-day period I was up to four and they did nothing at all. I was not even sleepy. I have better luck with Advil PM than that sleeping pill. By the way, I do take Advil PM on occasion when I’ve had many days of particularly bad sleep. It does help me fall asleep but does not keep me asleep. Also, if I take it too often (every night) it loses its effectiveness after three days. So I save it for The Bad Days. (Note (again): I have a terrible time sleeping in anyone’s home. It’s an issue in hotels and motels but not as much as a person’s home. Why? Typical home noises. Hotels and motels are usually much quieter unless you select a super economy motel/hotel.)
Another sleeping pill I tried while living and working in San Francisco worked great but I couldn’t go to my 8 to 5 job until about 10:00 a.m. I kept taking the pill earlier and earlier in the evening to see if I could actually get up earlier but I found I had to take it at 4 p.m. the evening before which meant I was asleep at 5:00 p.m. That wasn’t good because at 5:00 p.m. I was on the bus heading home from work. Sleeping on a bus is very restful but somewhat dangerous.
Depression. One would think that I would suffer from depression because of this disorder. Oddly, I do not. I have experienced situational depression in my life but it never lasts long. I have read countless articles and studies wherein they describe depression and its possible related sleep issues. Sometimes depressed people sleep all the time, sometimes not at all, and sometimes they experience a combination of both. People with depression often require medications to treat their depression and sometimes those medications help them sleep normally. I have explored this possibility with many doctors over the years and we have always come to the conclusion that I do not suffer from depression. In those rare times when I have felt depressed it is always related to a sad development in life like the death of a loved one or some other event of that depth. Most of the time I buzz through life contented (except for a rather unpleasant 16-year period, which I will discuss in a future blog entitled Relationships. Even then I was not depressed but mostly exasperated. My sleep was disturbed more during that period due to parenting situations and babies and all of that but it really wasn’t much different that before babies.)
The cure: there is none. There’s information to help you cope and so I will share what I do.
First, I’m divorced (that helps a lot) and my children are grown and on their own (ditto). That means I have peace and quiet and can have my late-in-the-day relaxing period where I shut myself off from the outside world and start my “cool down.” This involves a nice bath or shower. Bathing before bed for an insomniac is very soothing. After my daily cool down and shower, I climb under the covers in my sleep-inducing bedroom, and relax. I may or may not watch TV or read, depending on what’s going on in the neighborhood. (Note: Relaxing if not sleeping is better than tossing and turning. You can train yourself to relax and rest. Not as good as sleep, but better than hysteria at 3:00 a.m.)
Next, being a lifelong insomniac, I usually know what is ahead of me. I know if I’m going to have a dozing night, a sleepless night, or any of the others. It’s just an odd feeling. How many times have I said to family and friends that I knew I wasn’t going to sleep. Last night, for example, I had a very comfortable night’s sleep though I didn’t sleep very long. The part of the time I did sleep was comfortable and when I woke up I spent the rest of the night dozing. Not a horrible combination. When I got up I didn’t feel like pounding my skull with a hammer. That was a good night.
Finally, when it’s very bad I have learned to relax and think pleasant thoughts. Sort of a Zen thing. Earlier in life before I got a handle on this problem I’d cry. I never get in that state anymore. I deal with it and I relax. Partly it’s because I don’t have to get up at a certain time and be somewhere in an alert state. But it’s also because if I’m not going to sleep I’m at least going to relax. I have a little clock that has a variety of soothing sounds that often puts me in a relaxed state. And I occasionally take an Advil PM to help me if I can’t fall asleep.
That’s it. The cure. Relax and don’t worry about it. It is what it is.
When I started this blog series I had no idea it would stretch to three blogs. I now know I could go on and on with this topic but it makes me crazy so I’m stopping. It’s 12:15 a.m. Went to bed, couldn’t sleep, here I am! [Michelle Pfeiffer has insomnia. I’m in good company.]
Next week: Bette Davis Eyes & Farrah Fawcett Hair.
[Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite! And if they do, hit them with your shoe to make them black and blue!]
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